senryu (Christmas presents...)
senyru - 5/7/512 total reviews
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Val Crisson,
A very heart-felt senryu you have written. Although Christmas is a jolly time for many, for others it can be difficult or even painful.
A gentle reminder. Keep the blue waters flowing.
Regards, LateBloomer
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2012
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Hello Val Crisson,
A very heart-felt senryu you have written. Although Christmas is a jolly time for many, for others it can be difficult or even painful.
A gentle reminder. Keep the blue waters flowing.
Regards, LateBloomer
Comment Written 26-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2012
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Thank you so much for your lovely review!
Comment from BeasPeas
It's sad to remember that Christmas is not in the gifts, but rather in the meaning of the celebration--that commercialism destroys the intent of the holiday/holyday in the first place. It's in the giving that we receive is a wonderful concept. Do something nice for someone else anonymously.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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It's sad to remember that Christmas is not in the gifts, but rather in the meaning of the celebration--that commercialism destroys the intent of the holiday/holyday in the first place. It's in the giving that we receive is a wonderful concept. Do something nice for someone else anonymously.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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This is such a lovely review - thank you so much
Comment from elliejean
I love the poem. I love the picture. We all need a good reminder, many people will not have a Christmas day. Try to do a little something for a stranger. Give them just a little Christmas joy and maybe hope for a good Christmas next year.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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I love the poem. I love the picture. We all need a good reminder, many people will not have a Christmas day. Try to do a little something for a stranger. Give them just a little Christmas joy and maybe hope for a good Christmas next year.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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Thank you for your kind review
Comment from RYME4U
You make a very poingnant point here. The senryu describes it well. The end line is thought provoking. You have done a good job with matching the artwork to the poem.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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You make a very poingnant point here. The senryu describes it well. The end line is thought provoking. You have done a good job with matching the artwork to the poem.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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Thank you for reading my senyru
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent pairing of artwork and poem
Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 form
good consonance of R sounds in your opening line
good alliterative pairing of Christmas and cookies
with consonant pick up of the hard C sound in bake
and a powerful satori line that reminds us that idyllic Christmas and actual Christmas are often far apart for many
Brooke
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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Excellent pairing of artwork and poem
Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 form
good consonance of R sounds in your opening line
good alliterative pairing of Christmas and cookies
with consonant pick up of the hard C sound in bake
and a powerful satori line that reminds us that idyllic Christmas and actual Christmas are often far apart for many
Brooke
Comment Written 24-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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Thank you, Brooke. This is a wonderful review, and you read it the way I had hoped it would be read.
Comment from Galactia
Christmas presents wrapped 5
while cookies bake in oven... 7
only in my dreams 5
perfect 5'7'5 syllable count, lovely presentation and good 3rd line.
Good luck in the contest and have a wonderful xmas
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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Christmas presents wrapped 5
while cookies bake in oven... 7
only in my dreams 5
perfect 5'7'5 syllable count, lovely presentation and good 3rd line.
Good luck in the contest and have a wonderful xmas
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 24-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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Thank you so much, Tia
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this senryu poem about the lack of Christmas for many, i wish you the best of luck in the contest
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this senryu poem about the lack of Christmas for many, i wish you the best of luck in the contest
Comment Written 23-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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Thank you so much
Comment from Slythytove2
This is a good example of what Haiku(senryu) is all about. Too bad the subject is as sad as it is.But that is the purpose of poetry to bring the emotions to the surface revealing the truth. And its particularly powerful in this type of work with as few words as you're allowed. Very Good.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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This is a good example of what Haiku(senryu) is all about. Too bad the subject is as sad as it is.But that is the purpose of poetry to bring the emotions to the surface revealing the truth. And its particularly powerful in this type of work with as few words as you're allowed. Very Good.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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Thank you so much - this is a very powerful review. I'm sure it won't get a vote, but you have found it's real meaning.
Comment from L. Sherman
Well this is rather sad. I suppose there's truth here, regarding your author's note. And you are right --
And you capture that reality perfectly here. To be honest, I saw the picture and my heart fell. But the first two lines had perked me up and I wondered if the picture was meant to be ironic at all.
It was a real blow to read the last line. Powerful way to hammer it home. Point, well made.
L. Sherman
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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Well this is rather sad. I suppose there's truth here, regarding your author's note. And you are right --
And you capture that reality perfectly here. To be honest, I saw the picture and my heart fell. But the first two lines had perked me up and I wondered if the picture was meant to be ironic at all.
It was a real blow to read the last line. Powerful way to hammer it home. Point, well made.
L. Sherman
Comment Written 23-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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Thank you so much, and yes it is a sad subject. Unfortunately, a very real reality for some. I just can't forget that part.
Comment from Gungalo
Christmas presents wrapped
while cookies bake in oven...
only in my dreams
It kinda says it all doesn't it? A senryu in perfect style and all the reasoning in the world won't change it one little bit.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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Christmas presents wrapped
while cookies bake in oven...
only in my dreams
It kinda says it all doesn't it? A senryu in perfect style and all the reasoning in the world won't change it one little bit.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2012
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Thank you so much, Gungalo
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Smile.