My Life in words
Viewing comments for Chapter 106 "Teenage Years."All of my poems of release.
29 total reviews
Comment from GarthL
I don't know anything about haibun but I do know those teenage years, or more specifically 14-17, can be a nightmare. Were did my lovely son/daughter go?! Great illustration enhances the scenario and the red background color also typifies the heat in such. You're in good hands with 'Earl' Ray. I'd think his advice would be sound and I like his dry irreverent sense of humor.
Staysafe, Garth
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
  |
I don't know anything about haibun but I do know those teenage years, or more specifically 14-17, can be a nightmare. Were did my lovely son/daughter go?! Great illustration enhances the scenario and the red background color also typifies the heat in such. You're in good hands with 'Earl' Ray. I'd think his advice would be sound and I like his dry irreverent sense of humor.
Staysafe, Garth
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
-
Hi Garth,
Thank you so much for your lovely review, at work just now so can't spend much time on here. You're right Ray's sense of humour is wicked. :) Jaq xx
-
Take care!!
Comment from BeasPeas
Loved it! What parent hasn't been there--hoping to work through these trying years with kids. Enjoyed: "Clattering dishes! How many broken? Novel way to 'do' them." Very nice.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2013
|
Loved it! What parent hasn't been there--hoping to work through these trying years with kids. Enjoyed: "Clattering dishes! How many broken? Novel way to 'do' them." Very nice.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2013
-
Thank you so much for your very kind review. :) Jaq x
Comment from elliejean
I love the picture. I love the poem. I had those teenagers. Always anger and upset. I switched to plastic dishware when the first came along. Thank goodness they snapped out of it. Now they have teenagers of their own. Great work.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
|
I love the picture. I love the poem. I had those teenagers. Always anger and upset. I switched to plastic dishware when the first came along. Thank goodness they snapped out of it. Now they have teenagers of their own. Great work.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
-
Thank you so much for your kind review as always :) Jaq xx
Comment from wordsareus
Many readers can relate to your subject matter. You use vivid imagery to describe the scene. It is realistic. Your haiku is well done.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
|
Many readers can relate to your subject matter. You use vivid imagery to describe the scene. It is realistic. Your haiku is well done.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
-
Thank you so very much for your kind review. :) Jaq xx
Comment from quicksandyamurray
This is a subject I can identify with and know something about. It certainly held true to the situation portrayed. It hit the main traits comprising the teen years. It also included the point that each generation follows the same pattern for the same reason.That is not usually covered. Excellent coverage in the prose and Haiku.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
|
This is a subject I can identify with and know something about. It certainly held true to the situation portrayed. It hit the main traits comprising the teen years. It also included the point that each generation follows the same pattern for the same reason.That is not usually covered. Excellent coverage in the prose and Haiku.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful review Sandy. :) Jaq x
-
you are welcome. It's a tough subject to write about teens and describe it well in the confines of a short prose and even shorter poem. You did well, keep writing.
Comment from cherylmelwoods
Yes well this sure is a popular theme we can all relate to. A brilliant narrative with captivating dialogue! Rich literary language and strong descriptives. Your haiku definitely compliments filled with comedy and wit!
Well dine and good luck. :-)
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
|
Yes well this sure is a popular theme we can all relate to. A brilliant narrative with captivating dialogue! Rich literary language and strong descriptives. Your haiku definitely compliments filled with comedy and wit!
Well dine and good luck. :-)
Comment Written 08-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
-
Thank you for your very kind words and for reviewing my work. :) Jaq x
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hello Jaq Cee. Neatly weaved Haibun and full of vivid expression: From the slamming doors to the breaking dishes, you captured the dimension of trials of adolescence quite well. Good luck in the contests. Cheers.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
|
Hello Jaq Cee. Neatly weaved Haibun and full of vivid expression: From the slamming doors to the breaking dishes, you captured the dimension of trials of adolescence quite well. Good luck in the contests. Cheers.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
-
Thank you so much Benjamin as always a lovely review. :) Jaq x
Comment from Sally Carter
I enjoyed your original "take" on the haibun, Jac. Some nice observations there.
I am no expert on haibun, having only just done my first one, so these comments are just what I have gleaned from FS and elsewhere in the last month or so, but I think it should be all about images in the time frame of the piece. So the line about teenage years seems to be a reflection by the speaker rather than her immediate response, as you have shown in "temper rising". Also the same issue perhaps on the line that teenagers should come with a health warning. Then again perhaps I am talking complete rubbish... These apparently simple forms are more challenging than they appear!
I think the haiku is excellent. I am no longer sure whether there is meant to be a season reference, but I've read lots of haiku about human emotion, where no season is referred to, and yours looks fine to me.
It's been a good contest, hasn't it?
I hope my comments are of some help, but if not, just ignore!
Best wishes
Sally
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
 |
I enjoyed your original "take" on the haibun, Jac. Some nice observations there.
I am no expert on haibun, having only just done my first one, so these comments are just what I have gleaned from FS and elsewhere in the last month or so, but I think it should be all about images in the time frame of the piece. So the line about teenage years seems to be a reflection by the speaker rather than her immediate response, as you have shown in "temper rising". Also the same issue perhaps on the line that teenagers should come with a health warning. Then again perhaps I am talking complete rubbish... These apparently simple forms are more challenging than they appear!
I think the haiku is excellent. I am no longer sure whether there is meant to be a season reference, but I've read lots of haiku about human emotion, where no season is referred to, and yours looks fine to me.
It's been a good contest, hasn't it?
I hope my comments are of some help, but if not, just ignore!
Best wishes
Sally
Comment Written 07-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
-
As always Sally your comments are very helpful. Thanks for taking the time to review this and I know what you mean these forms are not as easy as they seem. :) Jaq xx
Comment from MAMONIA
Wow! You hit the nail on the head with this one.
Lively conversation between teenage boy and mom
has been repeated over lifetimes.
I can still remember mine.
Great idea here.
Haiku is perfect too.
Great entry for the contest. Best of luck.
Marie
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
|
Wow! You hit the nail on the head with this one.
Lively conversation between teenage boy and mom
has been repeated over lifetimes.
I can still remember mine.
Great idea here.
Haiku is perfect too.
Great entry for the contest. Best of luck.
Marie
Comment Written 07-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
-
Thank you so much for your lovely review and best wishes, much appreciated. :) Jaq xx
Comment from Sasha
This is an excellent haiburn. For what it is worth, we do survive those wonderful teenage years. Marvelous prose with awesome complimentary haiku. This is a terrific entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
|
This is an excellent haiburn. For what it is worth, we do survive those wonderful teenage years. Marvelous prose with awesome complimentary haiku. This is a terrific entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
-
Thank you so much for your very kind words Smurphgiirl. Much appreciated. :) JAq xx
