My Life in words
Viewing comments for Chapter 130 "Noises of War"All of my poems of release.
9 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent focus on sound in your cacophony poem
Good onomatopoeia in the bang/thud/whoosh lines
good consonance in drop people dead
good alliteration in weeping wailing
good consonance of hard C sounds in crackle of burning skin and compelling sensory appeal
excellent alliteration in halls of Hades howling
This is most powerful Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2012
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Excellent focus on sound in your cacophony poem
Good onomatopoeia in the bang/thud/whoosh lines
good consonance in drop people dead
good alliteration in weeping wailing
good consonance of hard C sounds in crackle of burning skin and compelling sensory appeal
excellent alliteration in halls of Hades howling
This is most powerful Brooke :-)
Comment Written 22-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much for your very kind and knowledgeable review Brooke. :) Jaq x
Comment from mruss1
Hi My friend and Happy thanksgiving:) I find today i have so much to be thankful for. The poem was very exceptional the sounds of war are very much like a sound track from hell. I have never fought and pray I never will. As much as differences exist I simply couldn't take someone's life because of them. I wish for peace:) Take care and hope you are well:) Mark
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2012
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Hi My friend and Happy thanksgiving:) I find today i have so much to be thankful for. The poem was very exceptional the sounds of war are very much like a sound track from hell. I have never fought and pray I never will. As much as differences exist I simply couldn't take someone's life because of them. I wish for peace:) Take care and hope you are well:) Mark
Comment Written 22-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2012
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It must be an awful place to be where a split second decision could either lose you your life or lead to you taking anothers.
Thank you for your very kind review and wonderful rating. Much appreciated. :) Jaq x
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I can only imagine it. You awaoke my imagination though. You are very welcome and wonderful job you earned this:) Mark
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Thank you so very much my friend. :) Jaq x
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You are so welcome for you are one of the things that I have to be thankful for:)Take care my friend and thanks for making this feel much like home:) Mark
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Right back at ya my friend. :) Jaq xx
Comment from TubaTiger
I would say that you have accomplished your goal in writing the style of poem you did. The word choices you feel literally make me feel uncomfortable... But... In a good way? It's what you want to happen! The words add a sense of tragedy, a sense of darkness, that I believe to be what you were going for! Overall a great poem!
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2012
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I would say that you have accomplished your goal in writing the style of poem you did. The word choices you feel literally make me feel uncomfortable... But... In a good way? It's what you want to happen! The words add a sense of tragedy, a sense of darkness, that I believe to be what you were going for! Overall a great poem!
Comment Written 22-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much for your very kind review.
Comment from Treischel
War provides the perfect palette for a cacophony poem, and you have filled it brimming with the images and sounds. Bodes well for the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2012
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War provides the perfect palette for a cacophony poem, and you have filled it brimming with the images and sounds. Bodes well for the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2012
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Your review is much appreciated indeed.
Comment from cephira
You rule breaker, you! Sometimes the contest guidelines are just too confining for creative folk. I really enjoyed this one. It evoked the chaotic feel of the battlefield by not only presenting the sounds but also the emotions. Very well done. I especially liked the imagery of the "halls of Hades" and the "hopes of silence wearing thin."
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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You rule breaker, you! Sometimes the contest guidelines are just too confining for creative folk. I really enjoyed this one. It evoked the chaotic feel of the battlefield by not only presenting the sounds but also the emotions. Very well done. I especially liked the imagery of the "halls of Hades" and the "hopes of silence wearing thin."
Comment Written 21-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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I just couldn't stop once I'd started :). Thanks for the lovely review.
Comment from elliejean
I love the picture. I love the poem. War is the hell we create here on earth. Sometimes the horror takes too many lines. Great work.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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I love the picture. I love the poem. War is the hell we create here on earth. Sometimes the horror takes too many lines. Great work.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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Thank you elliejean. It is indeed the hell we create for ourselves x
Comment from Galactia
This is a really great Cacophony Poem. you could picture the mortersand tanks blowing up. you did a wonderful job wit6h this.
I wish you GL in the contest
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2012
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This is a really great Cacophony Poem. you could picture the mortersand tanks blowing up. you did a wonderful job wit6h this.
I wish you GL in the contest
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 19-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2012
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Thank you Tia nuch appreciated xx
Comment from dogontherocks
I believe it was Voltaire who wrote to a friend then apologized for it's length saying he didn't have time to make it shorter. I gave you five stars because I love Voltaire. Your poem meets the criteria except for your lack of brevity. Since it was only for a writing prompt and not a contest, who cares.
Good job
Dave
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2012
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I believe it was Voltaire who wrote to a friend then apologized for it's length saying he didn't have time to make it shorter. I gave you five stars because I love Voltaire. Your poem meets the criteria except for your lack of brevity. Since it was only for a writing prompt and not a contest, who cares.
Good job
Dave
Comment Written 19-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much I didn't want to shorten it. :). As you say it's just a prompt.
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Thank you so much I didn't want to shorten it. :). As you say it's just a prompt.
Comment from skye
War is filled with noise, with horrors, and with sounds that resemble hell.
You captured all of that and more in this well written war poem, about its sounds and its consequences.
Well done.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2012
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War is filled with noise, with horrors, and with sounds that resemble hell.
You captured all of that and more in this well written war poem, about its sounds and its consequences.
Well done.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2012
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Thank you for your kind review.
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Thank you for your kind review.
