Comment from October21

Excellent

I thought this was a lovely piece of poetry to read. Many of your posts that I have come across have been to do with hope and promise of tomorrow. It's great to see such positivity on this site.

 Comment Written 03-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2012

Thank you October. If we don't have hope what do we have? :) Jaq x

Comment from Alexmi1984

Exceptional

I can say that the objective ("meant to be read in a turmoil") is met, as far as I'm concerned. I was in a state of beautiful confusion as I was reading your poem. I could feel the thunder of fictitious military boots stumping the ground, with the images you've written. I also liked (dare I say loved?) this mix you've imagined between free-verse and rhymed poetry. In one little group of words, I loved your poem!

Alex :)

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Nov-2012

Thank you so very much for your valued review Alexmi. :) Jaq x

Comment from juliedickson55

Excellent

turbulent image to accent your poem of chaos and motion...

I love this:
"Like a cerebral
tug of war"

confusion, questions and thoughts crashing together...
"flailing about
like stormy seas
torrential thoughts" I think this line perfectly describes chaotic thought.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2012

Thank you so much for your kind review Julie. :) Jaq x

Comment from Gungalo

Excellent

like stormy seas
torrential thoughts
contemplation
rocking brain
with consternation
on the horizon
dawns the light
that gives me hope
of sleep tonight

This is very good JC and it makes you wonder exactly what it is that keeps everything together.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2012

Thanks you so much once again for your insightful review. :) Jaq x

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

Yes you have done very well my friend this flows very smoothly I liked the idea of no punctuation it works very well but then I never use it unless I have too well done regards Jill

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2012

Thank you so much Jill, as always it means a lot to have your review. :) Jaq x

Comment from Spike the second

Excellent

Superb poetry Jaq

I like the way it is written and it doesn't need punctuation in this case. It flows nicely down the page and the short lines make better reading than comma and full stops.

Lovely poem

Spike

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2012

Thanks a lot Spike for your very kind review my friend :) Jaq x

Comment from writer_13

Excellent

I liked your poem. So many thoughts swirl through our mind at night making sleep difficult to come. It had a great flow to it and the picture really added a nice touch. Good work.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2012

Thank you so much for your very kind review. :) Jaq x

Comment from Jamezy

Excellent

Really like this Jaq Cee.It shouted very talented lady for all to hear.. your talent is something i have never had any doubts with. You use your choice of words so well......

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 Comment Written 31-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2012

Once again thank you so much James. It's always great to have a review from someone who is as talented as you also. Much appreciated. :) Jaq x

Comment from Chris Tee

Excellent

It certainly reads as if in a turmoil. The poem is absolutely mind boggling and runs away with the reader. It is also thought provoking with
"peaceful minute
I'll not find
Like a cerebral
tug of war Wow what causes this??
fighting for space
no open door
mind awash"
Excellent work here girl.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2012

Thank you so much Chris for your great review. Always appreciated. :) Jaq x

Comment from Eliza M

Exceptional

Turmoil is exactly how it reads to me Jaq. Wow this one really resonates loudly. Its a horrible place that I frequent far too often for my liking. The pace, rhythmn and excellent word choices make this a compelling read. Unobtrusive rhymes and some vivid imagery metaphor and similie. Well done! Liz. x

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2012

Thank you so much for your fantastic review Liz. I thought it would resonate with you. It means a lot hearing this from you. Much appreciated as is the rating. :) Jaq x