My Life in words
Viewing comments for Chapter 166 "I Feel Your Pain."All of my poems of release.
8 total reviews
Comment from October21
This is a beautiful poem, full of such strong emotion and heartache. You express well the feeling of grief and pain, even in so little words.
The rhyming is flawless (abcb... at least, I think!)
It's nice when we have someone in our lives by whom we can always depend. This post has made me more aware of how I should appreciate my closest friends, after all that they have done.
Thank you for sharing this tearful and inspiring piece,
October
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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This is a beautiful poem, full of such strong emotion and heartache. You express well the feeling of grief and pain, even in so little words.
The rhyming is flawless (abcb... at least, I think!)
It's nice when we have someone in our lives by whom we can always depend. This post has made me more aware of how I should appreciate my closest friends, after all that they have done.
Thank you for sharing this tearful and inspiring piece,
October
Comment Written 24-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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Once again many thanks for your kind and insightful review October. :) Jaq x
Comment from wordsareus
I really like the image that you chose to go along with your poem. Perhaps your back round color could be a bit sadder (pale blue). One line, 'straddle lost hopes abyss' sounds off.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2012
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I really like the image that you chose to go along with your poem. Perhaps your back round color could be a bit sadder (pale blue). One line, 'straddle lost hopes abyss' sounds off.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2012
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Thank you for your kind and helpful review.
Comment from elliejean
I love the picture. I love the poem. You show strong empathy. Losing a loved one is heart breaking. Death steals part of your soul. It hurts just as bad if the loved one doesn't die but the love dies. Great work.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2012
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I love the picture. I love the poem. You show strong empathy. Losing a loved one is heart breaking. Death steals part of your soul. It hurts just as bad if the loved one doesn't die but the love dies. Great work.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2012
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Many thanks for your very nice appraisal. Much appreciated.
Comment from mommerry
Your verses had both rythmn and satisfied the writing prompt of showing empathy. Only someone who has gone through a similar experience can offer the comfort suggested in this poem. Very good job.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2012
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Your verses had both rythmn and satisfied the writing prompt of showing empathy. Only someone who has gone through a similar experience can offer the comfort suggested in this poem. Very good job.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2012
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Thanks for your lovely review and for taking the time to read this.
Comment from expressions9
This is a wonderful poem of empathy with grief with a perfect picture to match. A little suggestion - perhaps you could do without the punctuation? Also, just a little spag, change "worlds" to "world's" (as in world has). Very well written.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2012
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This is a wonderful poem of empathy with grief with a perfect picture to match. A little suggestion - perhaps you could do without the punctuation? Also, just a little spag, change "worlds" to "world's" (as in world has). Very well written.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2012
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Thank you so much for your helpful review and I will change that now.
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You're welcome.
Comment from MAMONIA
Very well done. Spoken with just the right
amount of empathy for the one suffering.
Your description, rhythm and flow are excellent
as you come down the page.
You show a lot of compassion and I am sure this
will be an excellent sympathy card. They are
never expressive enough for me. This one would
definitely make it.
Good luck in the contest.
Marie
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2012
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Very well done. Spoken with just the right
amount of empathy for the one suffering.
Your description, rhythm and flow are excellent
as you come down the page.
You show a lot of compassion and I am sure this
will be an excellent sympathy card. They are
never expressive enough for me. This one would
definitely make it.
Good luck in the contest.
Marie
Comment Written 18-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2012
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Thank you so much for your lovely review.
Comment from terry drake
Grief is a hurt that takes time to heel. You have created a good poem with that theme and the rhyme scheme was well done. The cadence was good and presented your theme well.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2012
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Grief is a hurt that takes time to heel. You have created a good poem with that theme and the rhyme scheme was well done. The cadence was good and presented your theme well.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2012
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Thank you so much Terry for your very kind review.
Comment from poetrypeg
Very nice rhyming, including internal rhyme, nice flow to your poem. You can feel the sadness throughout your poem. Great imagery in words as "encountered that thief" and "lost hopes abyss". Overall a very nice poem.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2012
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Very nice rhyming, including internal rhyme, nice flow to your poem. You can feel the sadness throughout your poem. Great imagery in words as "encountered that thief" and "lost hopes abyss". Overall a very nice poem.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2012
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Thank you so much for your review.
