My Life in words
Viewing comments for Chapter 183 "Voicebox Stilled."All of my poems of release.
9 total reviews
Comment from Eliza M
Wow! This is a powerful and profound little write, in the light of recent happenings!!!LOL!
Effective word choices and great imagery. The 'tornado' similie has impact.
Clever play on 'tomes' with good personification.
Well done Jaq! Liz.x
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2012
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Wow! This is a powerful and profound little write, in the light of recent happenings!!!LOL!
Effective word choices and great imagery. The 'tornado' similie has impact.
Clever play on 'tomes' with good personification.
Well done Jaq! Liz.x
Comment Written 05-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2012
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Thanks Liz, glad you enjoyed it. :) Jaq x
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is a strong poem you have done very well my friend I believe in freedom of speech wars were fought for a reason well done my friend regards Jill
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
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Yes this is a strong poem you have done very well my friend I believe in freedom of speech wars were fought for a reason well done my friend regards Jill
Comment Written 03-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
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Thanks so much Jill, appreciated as always my friend :) Jaq x
Comment from John Lofburger
Not a bad poem at all. I like it. BUT
The allusion to "night of the sharp knives" baffles me. It recalls either the McMillan cabinet reshuffle, or the "night of the long knives" in which the bad SA's were slaughtered by the worse SS's... neither of them being related to your excellent theme of silenced voices. Unless you allude to the fact that the McMillan episode was connected with a press leak? I'm afraid the allusion will be lost on most readers. Now just suppressing the capitals might solve this, as the attention will not be called upon any particular event. By the way, are you sure about who's ? I would have expected whose, but I may be wrong.
Please forgive these remarks. I do like this poem which is very compelling. The rythm is good, and the images (tornado, razor-sharp blades, well chosen. Silenced tomes I like very much.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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Not a bad poem at all. I like it. BUT
The allusion to "night of the sharp knives" baffles me. It recalls either the McMillan cabinet reshuffle, or the "night of the long knives" in which the bad SA's were slaughtered by the worse SS's... neither of them being related to your excellent theme of silenced voices. Unless you allude to the fact that the McMillan episode was connected with a press leak? I'm afraid the allusion will be lost on most readers. Now just suppressing the capitals might solve this, as the attention will not be called upon any particular event. By the way, are you sure about who's ? I would have expected whose, but I may be wrong.
Please forgive these remarks. I do like this poem which is very compelling. The rythm is good, and the images (tornado, razor-sharp blades, well chosen. Silenced tomes I like very much.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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Thanks John and I did wrestle with who's or whose to be honest. I will change that. Also I see what you meant about the capitals. Great to get this critique, helps me improve. :) Jaq x
Comment from Don Pedro
The the metaphor is this is extremely effective. "Night of Sharp Knives" sets a foreboding tone. What ever a "Night of Sharp Knives" is its not a comforting thought. Tornadoes act indiscriminately, they "twist and turn' destroying everything that has the misfortune of lying in their path.As a reader I have to wonder what was lost, when the personified tome's lost their voicebox. What are the secrets they held that will never be repeated? This poem could apply to so many things, the only indication I had that this was about censorship was in the author notes. I don't know that that is a fault with the poem though, or a with the need to classify it. But well done, in my opinion.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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The the metaphor is this is extremely effective. "Night of Sharp Knives" sets a foreboding tone. What ever a "Night of Sharp Knives" is its not a comforting thought. Tornadoes act indiscriminately, they "twist and turn' destroying everything that has the misfortune of lying in their path.As a reader I have to wonder what was lost, when the personified tome's lost their voicebox. What are the secrets they held that will never be repeated? This poem could apply to so many things, the only indication I had that this was about censorship was in the author notes. I don't know that that is a fault with the poem though, or a with the need to classify it. But well done, in my opinion.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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Thanks Don probably needed to clarify things a bit more. It's more about people backstabbing others to have their work stifled. It is just about censorship being wrong, in my opinion. All the good works we may have read or followed had the author not been censored. Great to hear your thoughts on it tho'. Thank you again :) Jaq x
Comment from Littlegirl38732
Ducking awesome! Oh no. I was just edited! :) I love this piece. Short but very descriptive. Just the way I like poetry to be! Awesome job. I hope to see many more. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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Ducking awesome! Oh no. I was just edited! :) I love this piece. Short but very descriptive. Just the way I like poetry to be! Awesome job. I hope to see many more. Best wishes.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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Littlegirl, much appreciated. I tend to get a lot of words shooting through my head and just write them. Maybe I should go back over it, mostly I don't. I write on impulse. Glad you enjoyed it and understood the censorship theme. :) Jaq x
Comment from Scarbrems
Very fine work. Wonderful images. You have addressed a powerful theme with great effect here, and you are quite right in in your views on censorship.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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Very fine work. Wonderful images. You have addressed a powerful theme with great effect here, and you are quite right in in your views on censorship.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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Thanks emsey for your kind review means a lot :) Jaq x
Comment from Meta~Mark
Your razor sharp blades
tear through silenced tomes,
who's voicebox now lies ravaged. - wow don't cut the tongue and censor the ones who inspire, my latest poem follows this theme as well...knife that cuts !
EXCELLENT!
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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Your razor sharp blades
tear through silenced tomes,
who's voicebox now lies ravaged. - wow don't cut the tongue and censor the ones who inspire, my latest poem follows this theme as well...knife that cuts !
EXCELLENT!
Comment Written 03-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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I will have a look at that one of yours when I get home Mark. Thanks for your great review. :) Jaq x
Comment from Ekim777
Wonderfully sharp and telling images but silenced tomes disturbed me. The wisdom between closed pages are surely locked away and silent until a fresh mind brings it to life. THey need never be silent for long. With even a tornado in full flight, how can a voice be ravage? Still a fine poem. Ekim777
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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Wonderfully sharp and telling images but silenced tomes disturbed me. The wisdom between closed pages are surely locked away and silent until a fresh mind brings it to life. THey need never be silent for long. With even a tornado in full flight, how can a voice be ravage? Still a fine poem. Ekim777
Comment Written 03-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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Not the voice, but the voicebox which enables you to talk Ekim. Tomes that are silenced through censorship. not just closed over is what I meant too. Thank you for your review, much appreciated :) Jaq x
Comment from Dollie Mason
Very well written...good message. Freedom of speech is about the only thing we have left and we mustn't let them take it from us.
dm
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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Very well written...good message. Freedom of speech is about the only thing we have left and we mustn't let them take it from us.
dm
Comment Written 03-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2012
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Thanks so much dm for your kind review. :) Jaq x
