Reviews from

One win

A short story (Flash) about my only win in sports

23 total reviews 
Comment from adewpearl
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Like with some other sports, I never passed - add comma
I'm laughing at the premature congratulations and the reason why. LOL
quite a lot older than me - should be I - we will talk about this rule in class
Twice you start a sentence with But where you could have used the but as a conjunction in a compound sentence - Robert was shouting encouragement from behind the wall, but my feet stayed frozen.
I got my biggest trophy ever, and it has - add comma in a compound sentence :-)
An enjoyable memoir essay, Ine :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
    Thanks for your time and review. Have a lovely day, Ine. Thanks, will adjust.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
    Most I would have known now I hope. And I really should not have used me instead of I.
Comment from fairy77
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wow that will be my next challenge short stories.There's less competition at least I have a chance lol.Is it Stacey Ann's.I liked your story of being the only girl and brave enough to partiscipate.Well written and amusing.beth fairy77.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
    Thanks for your time and review. Have a lovely day, Ine
Comment from Cumbrianlass
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Interesting read, Ine. Good for you! Squash is a very high energy game - you did well going in a tournament. I'm not surprised you're proud of your trophy.

This was a nicely written essay. I enjoyed reading it.

Hugs, Avril

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
    Thanks for your time and review. Have a lovely day, Ine
Comment from Janie King
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I really don't know what squash is...this is well-written..I've never really gotten into sports..I certainly wouldn't be good at it. God bless.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
    Thanks for your time and review. Have a lovely day, Ine. It is a bit like tennis, but in a confined space and faster.
Comment from MelissaBickel
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Robina, you were a winner the moment you kept at something. I was always to slow or too big to play sports.. In Junior High I signed up for Tennis and kept up and even beat one of the best players. While I never got to go on Tournaments, I had the satisfaction of showing that I could be good at something regardless of what others felt or said.

Goodonya kiddo!!

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
    Thanks for your time and review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine I might have had similar reasons.
Comment from Doc Holiday
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Congratulations on your trophy win!
This is a good piece of writing, concise, keeps the reader interested and has an ending that brings closure, yet offers spectulation about the next action of the main character.

Nice job!

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
    Thanks for your time and review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine
Comment from Writingfundimension
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Hi, Ine. What an impressive piece of prose. I'd love to read more from you. This is a great story - sort of a slice of your life style. Great job! Warm regards, Bev

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
    Thanks for your time and review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine
reply by Writingfundimension on 29-Apr-2012
    You're welcome, Ine. The same to you! Bev
Comment from Melspoems
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Lol what a great story Ine. Well done for entering the tournament! And how cool that you get to get a trophy because you were the only female entrant, so even when you lose you win, and all because you tried.
I saw no spags.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
    Thanks for your time and review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine
Comment from MumEsGirl
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Seems like there is more than one style of victory. This was a very well written story with plenty of subtle humour.

I dont think I could ever play squash, it is too fast, badminton and volleyball were my sports, and I played woefully at both

hugs
kate

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
    Thanks for your time and review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine
Comment from donaldww
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That was a nicely written memoir of your squash playing experience.

...even though a mixed contest... <<-- I think this would sound better as ...even though it was a mixed contest... etc.

What does it say on your trophy?

Cheers!

DW

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
    Thanks for your time and review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine . First place female Doctor's squash or something like thatr and thanks for the tip.
reply by donaldww on 28-Apr-2012
    I guess you must have squashed all of those Doctors. LOL

    DW