Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 57 "part four, chapter 17"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
58 total reviews
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Oh goodness here it comes. It's got to be Bobby that pulled her into the house. I hope Sam is alright. This is truly where the story gets to me on a personal level. I am still hoping for a happy ending. Meaning Anna a Troy married and Bobby six feet under.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
  |
Oh goodness here it comes. It's got to be Bobby that pulled her into the house. I hope Sam is alright. This is truly where the story gets to me on a personal level. I am still hoping for a happy ending. Meaning Anna a Troy married and Bobby six feet under.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
-
Thank you.
Comment from Frank Atwood
Excellent. I know that I'm coming in on the 18th chapter, but from the very beginning the words you chose and used in the beginning had me figuring out from where the first 18 chapters were about and how she needed protection from an ex- I liked how the drama picked up a bit past the middle and continued on all the way to the end of the first part of chapter 18. I liked how you changed the font and letter styles to indicate her thoughts, which positively added to the suspense. I gave this a five.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
|
Excellent. I know that I'm coming in on the 18th chapter, but from the very beginning the words you chose and used in the beginning had me figuring out from where the first 18 chapters were about and how she needed protection from an ex- I liked how the drama picked up a bit past the middle and continued on all the way to the end of the first part of chapter 18. I liked how you changed the font and letter styles to indicate her thoughts, which positively added to the suspense. I gave this a five.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
I read this and forgot to finish my review because my ipod went out on me and it didn't save the part I had written about this excellently written chapter. I was on the edge of my seat. The ending is horrible for Anna. I hope she gets saved before she's beaten or better she's able to fight him off and kick his butt. Your writing packs and emotional punch. Your story paints a picture in the readers head. In your story you've effectively managed to establish a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. You used the following:
Narrative: great
Characterization: excellent
Use of devices Alliteration & Metaphor: great
Content: excellent
I'd recommend your story as a 'must ' read. Thanks for entertaining me in with your story. I sure hope Anna and the little Michael aren't harmed by those creeps. I wish you a super day, my friend.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
|
Barbara,
I read this and forgot to finish my review because my ipod went out on me and it didn't save the part I had written about this excellently written chapter. I was on the edge of my seat. The ending is horrible for Anna. I hope she gets saved before she's beaten or better she's able to fight him off and kick his butt. Your writing packs and emotional punch. Your story paints a picture in the readers head. In your story you've effectively managed to establish a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. You used the following:
Narrative: great
Characterization: excellent
Use of devices Alliteration & Metaphor: great
Content: excellent
I'd recommend your story as a 'must ' read. Thanks for entertaining me in with your story. I sure hope Anna and the little Michael aren't harmed by those creeps. I wish you a super day, my friend.
Melissa.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
-
Thank you Missy.
Comment from cce29
First, you and your husband are both very talented artists....his drawing, your writing. I've read a few other parts of this book. S how, the more I read, the more intrigued I am to read more....you have good dialog, and you described the situation very well. I look forward to reading more. If all the others I read are anything like what I have already, your overall book deserves, and will recieve by me, a 6 star.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
|
First, you and your husband are both very talented artists....his drawing, your writing. I've read a few other parts of this book. S how, the more I read, the more intrigued I am to read more....you have good dialog, and you described the situation very well. I look forward to reading more. If all the others I read are anything like what I have already, your overall book deserves, and will recieve by me, a 6 star.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review and the encouragement.
Comment from Shirley McLain
You've written a chapter which brought out the tenseness of the situation very well. I'm eager to read the next chapter. Great job as always.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
 |
You've written a chapter which brought out the tenseness of the situation very well. I'm eager to read the next chapter. Great job as always.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from ebeta
Your writing is coming along nicely. I'm anxious to see where this is going.
let your husband know that I liked his flower as well.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
|
Your writing is coming along nicely. I'm anxious to see where this is going.
let your husband know that I liked his flower as well.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from emmaysavage
Very good job with this. Anna is consistently believable and the drive home from Day care was very realistic. I'm really with this story.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
|
Very good job with this. Anna is consistently believable and the drive home from Day care was very realistic. I'm really with this story.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from HittorX
AWESOME! I love it, Was on the edge of my seat. I thought someone would be in the back of her car. Yikes! Great work keep it going!
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
|
AWESOME! I love it, Was on the edge of my seat. I thought someone would be in the back of her car. Yikes! Great work keep it going!
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Allezw2
Lady barbara wilkey,
I think there is nothing new in the description of the lengths a deranged and possessive individual will extend his malice toward another who refuses his sense of entitlement.
Witness the individual who would murder his two sons and immolate himself as a means of settling a custody dispute.
It is sad to realize that I doubt that you could write any story that did not include the basic scenario of a crime already done, so vicious can some individuals be.
Nicely done, even if preaching somewhat to the choir. Those involved never seem to recognize these particulars of domestic cruelty even when they apply directly to themselves.
Fantasist
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
|
Lady barbara wilkey,
I think there is nothing new in the description of the lengths a deranged and possessive individual will extend his malice toward another who refuses his sense of entitlement.
Witness the individual who would murder his two sons and immolate himself as a means of settling a custody dispute.
It is sad to realize that I doubt that you could write any story that did not include the basic scenario of a crime already done, so vicious can some individuals be.
Nicely done, even if preaching somewhat to the choir. Those involved never seem to recognize these particulars of domestic cruelty even when they apply directly to themselves.
Fantasist
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thank for your kind review and insight.
-
Your quite welcome.
Comment from oNray
I missed a little but was able to get back on track. The story is moving at a good pace and has lost none of it's zip. You are doing fine with a good read
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
|
I missed a little but was able to get back on track. The story is moving at a good pace and has lost none of it's zip. You are doing fine with a good read
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.