Little Billy
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "My Nightmare."memiors from my life experiences.
34 total reviews
Comment from alexisleech
Your very well written story had me glued to the screen from start to finish. I suppose the weight of guilt would be huge for a child who thought he had unwittingly caused the death of another, but the question has to be asked, why did Adam have an obsession about being buried? This is a very good example of how an innocent game can go horrifically wrong, and every parents nightmare. Alexis x
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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Your very well written story had me glued to the screen from start to finish. I suppose the weight of guilt would be huge for a child who thought he had unwittingly caused the death of another, but the question has to be asked, why did Adam have an obsession about being buried? This is a very good example of how an innocent game can go horrifically wrong, and every parents nightmare. Alexis x
Comment Written 02-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2012
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yes this sory keeps me up a night sometimes.
Comment from Veronica Grace
This is a truly a horror story if it is based on truth. You stated it with such certainty and realism that I would believe it was your story. While I read I felt my stomach in knots as I wondered... I saw nothing to change or crit and I wish you all the luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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This is a truly a horror story if it is based on truth. You stated it with such certainty and realism that I would believe it was your story. While I read I felt my stomach in knots as I wondered... I saw nothing to change or crit and I wish you all the luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2012
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thank you for the six star rating its my first one for my story writung. I really appriciate it.
Comment from The Stranger
well this is indeed a bonus, first we have a harrowing story of a persons personal drmonic nightmare, then to top it all off, an excellent poem too
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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well this is indeed a bonus, first we have a harrowing story of a persons personal drmonic nightmare, then to top it all off, an excellent poem too
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Thank you.
Comment from HPicasso
This is an absolutelly well penned story, and dynamite ending.
You have told the story really very well, very vivid and believable. I think this is a very compelling story about your life. "Waht stupid things we do as children. This is a very good entry to the horror story contest. Congratulation!
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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This is an absolutelly well penned story, and dynamite ending.
You have told the story really very well, very vivid and believable. I think this is a very compelling story about your life. "Waht stupid things we do as children. This is a very good entry to the horror story contest. Congratulation!
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read. There is very good imagery.
Good luck in your contest.
Error.
store a police man came (policeman)
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read. There is very good imagery.
Good luck in your contest.
Error.
store a police man came (policeman)
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Thank you. correction made.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Anisa-
This is an enjoyable read, with a twist a good twist of horror to it. I really liked the character development of your MC. The reason I gave four stars is because there are a lot of spag errors and some of your paragraphs are really reparative. Also, I found some parts a little bit confusing.
I think with some editing this could be great. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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This is an enjoyable read, with a twist a good twist of horror to it. I really liked the character development of your MC. The reason I gave four stars is because there are a lot of spag errors and some of your paragraphs are really reparative. Also, I found some parts a little bit confusing.
I think with some editing this could be great. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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could you help me with the editing?
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Sure. I will go through and make notes this time.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi keimosabie,
That's quite a disturbing story, real or not. Sadly kids do get up to this sort of trick, then don't understand the consequences ...
The story is well written and certainly a chilling nightmare.
Patrick
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Hi keimosabie,
That's quite a disturbing story, real or not. Sadly kids do get up to this sort of trick, then don't understand the consequences ...
The story is well written and certainly a chilling nightmare.
Patrick
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Thank you Patrick
Comment from rashi kumar
This is such a horrifying story,
the mental and physical abuse at the foster home,
Adam's killing and such experiences!
Goodness! And worst of all, the dilemma and delusion!
Very grasping story!
The poem is the end is outstanding!
All the best!
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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This is such a horrifying story,
the mental and physical abuse at the foster home,
Adam's killing and such experiences!
Goodness! And worst of all, the dilemma and delusion!
Very grasping story!
The poem is the end is outstanding!
All the best!
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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Thank you
Comment from peggles
What a terrible nightmare
Did it really happen
You have told the story really well very stark and believable
This is a very good entry to the horror story contest
Good luck in the competition
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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What a terrible nightmare
Did it really happen
You have told the story really well very stark and believable
This is a very good entry to the horror story contest
Good luck in the competition
Comment Written 31-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2012
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thanks peggles high praise comming from u
Comment from wordsfromsue
Wow. This leaves me pretty quiet. And this is true? Wow. Really great writing. Getting in and probing the mind of the main character. Children being children and sometimes the consequences are deadly. This almost sounds like a psychopath recalling his early life. Exceptional writing.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Wow. This leaves me pretty quiet. And this is true? Wow. Really great writing. Getting in and probing the mind of the main character. Children being children and sometimes the consequences are deadly. This almost sounds like a psychopath recalling his early life. Exceptional writing.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Thanks I'm not a psycopath. i just released The english assignment which is the begining of this book.
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I'm so sorry about that. I realized after I read it how terribly awful that sounded. I can somewhat relate because I wrote something and a lot of people thanked me for showing the bipolar world, I think assuming I was bipolar. I am not. I just tapped into it. And that's what you did. Tapped into that sort of mind. I truly meant no offense and am currently taking my size 12 shoe out of my mouth. :-(
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i took no offense and i was thinking of leading into a psychopathic serial killer fictional write so I understand but i decided the truth was better then fiction.