Egocentric
A Haiku19 total reviews
Comment from hollyinvesuvianite
Kamran, this is so profound and witty. yes, the rooster is full of himself-why, I don't know. That is actually my chinese astrological sign. I saw the title and to read it again, because I thought that it said eccentric. great work, my friend, and good luck in the contest. Holly
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2012
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Kamran, this is so profound and witty. yes, the rooster is full of himself-why, I don't know. That is actually my chinese astrological sign. I saw the title and to read it again, because I thought that it said eccentric. great work, my friend, and good luck in the contest. Holly
Comment Written 01-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2012
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Wow, a sixer! Holly my friend, you are too kind, appreciate it very much my friend, thank you very much.
Comment from Gungalo
Ameen, I'd like this much better without the "the" words in it. Taking them out won't hurt the poem which is awesome. Try it and see.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2011
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Ameen, I'd like this much better without the "the" words in it. Taking them out won't hurt the poem which is awesome. Try it and see.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2011
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Hey Gunga my friend, Happy New Year. Wouldn't that effect the syllable count for the haiku? Thank you and have a great weekend.
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A haiku need not be a particular syllable count. Ask Alvin.
Comment from sunnilicious
'Egocentric' is an excellent senryu haiku. Nice work. Well done. Vivid imagery created. Thank you for sharing it. Have a happy and safe New/Old Years.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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'Egocentric' is an excellent senryu haiku. Nice work. Well done. Vivid imagery created. Thank you for sharing it. Have a happy and safe New/Old Years.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Hello sunnilicious, thank you my friend, glad you like the poem, appreciate your time and I wish you too a very Happy New Year.
Comment from adewpearl
Fantastic picture :-)
your poem is in good 5/7/5 form
ray by ray as the sun rise - should be as the sun rises to sound grammatically correct, but that would give you 8 syllables - so I would change it by saying ray by ray at the sun rise
I like the alliteration of dawn/darkness/deluded
I love the choice of peel as a strong verb that adds power to the scene
and I love the humor in the satori :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Fantastic picture :-)
your poem is in good 5/7/5 form
ray by ray as the sun rise - should be as the sun rises to sound grammatically correct, but that would give you 8 syllables - so I would change it by saying ray by ray at the sun rise
I like the alliteration of dawn/darkness/deluded
I love the choice of peel as a strong verb that adds power to the scene
and I love the humor in the satori :-) Brooke
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Brooke my friend, thank you very much for the suggestion/correction, appreciate it my friend, God bless and have a great weekend.
Comment from peggles
I enjoyed reading your poem very much
It is cleverly written and very well thought out
the rhyming was very good
and your wording easy to follow
well done
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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I enjoyed reading your poem very much
It is cleverly written and very well thought out
the rhyming was very good
and your wording easy to follow
well done
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Hello peggles, I appreciate your time my friend, thank you very much for a wonderful review, a very Happy New Year.
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hello there ameen
Sunrise is one word, but you knew that, you just seperated it to fit your form. I think this is a grand contest entry and wish you well in the contest
Bear
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Hello there ameen
Sunrise is one word, but you knew that, you just seperated it to fit your form. I think this is a grand contest entry and wish you well in the contest
Bear
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Hello Bear, appreciate your time my friend, thank you very much for the wonderful review and wish you a very Happy New Year.
Comment from TammyGail
Great work on this poem , very well written and expressed, creative and heartfelt. I loved your imagery used alongside your poem. Thanks for sharing it was a pleasure to read and review, and good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Great work on this poem , very well written and expressed, creative and heartfelt. I loved your imagery used alongside your poem. Thanks for sharing it was a pleasure to read and review, and good luck in the contest
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Tammy my friend, appreciate your time and the wonderful review, glad you like the poem, thank you very much. Happy New Year.
Comment from rashi kumar
Very well-said!
deluded rooster!!
a very well-written 5/7/5,
with a perfect artwork to compliment this poem.
All the best on the contest!
A very Happy and Healthy New Year!
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Very well-said!
deluded rooster!!
a very well-written 5/7/5,
with a perfect artwork to compliment this poem.
All the best on the contest!
A very Happy and Healthy New Year!
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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rashi beti, I wish you too a very bright Happy New Year. Thank you for the wonderful review, God bless.
Comment from Deejharrington
LOL! I guess we all know someone who thinks they make the sun rise. The best of luck to you in the contest. I really like how you took the traditional nature theme and added a touch of humor:)
deb
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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LOL! I guess we all know someone who thinks they make the sun rise. The best of luck to you in the contest. I really like how you took the traditional nature theme and added a touch of humor:)
deb
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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deb my friend, thank you very much, God bless and Happy New Year.
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:)
Comment from Piggies Grandma
I enjoyed reading your poem very much ameen. It is cleverly written and very well thought out. We have a rooster and he can crow at any time of the day...lol.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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I enjoyed reading your poem very much ameen. It is cleverly written and very well thought out. We have a rooster and he can crow at any time of the day...lol.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Hello Piggies Grandma, my friend, I am glad you like the poem, appreciate your time and the kind review, thank you very much and God bless and Happy New Year.
