Pierce My Heart
Spiritual Song Lyrics40 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
I like the rhyme, flow and alliteration in your refrain - I can hear it being sung :-)
whose fathers' fed them stone - drop the apostrophe
I like the idea of the blessed rain drowning the choking weeds :-)
This is lovely, and I enjoyed reading about its inspiration too :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2011
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I like the rhyme, flow and alliteration in your refrain - I can hear it being sung :-)
whose fathers' fed them stone - drop the apostrophe
I like the idea of the blessed rain drowning the choking weeds :-)
This is lovely, and I enjoyed reading about its inspiration too :-) Brooke
Comment Written 20-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much, Brooke. Your wonderful review is most inspiring and much appreciated. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from ameen786
Wow, Bev inspired by a man in the rear view mirror? Beware of those smiles my friend, but then, you said he lifted your heart and made you smile, I hope that was the end of it. Enough of my silly talk, sorry. Wonderful poetry my friend, a great writer/poet just need a simple token of smile and beautiful verse is created, superb!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2011
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Wow, Bev inspired by a man in the rear view mirror? Beware of those smiles my friend, but then, you said he lifted your heart and made you smile, I hope that was the end of it. Enough of my silly talk, sorry. Wonderful poetry my friend, a great writer/poet just need a simple token of smile and beautiful verse is created, superb!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2011
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Thank you, ameen. I really appreciate the time you took to read my poem/song and your kind words and generous review. Your support is priceless! Heart Blessings, Bev
Comment from juliaSjames
What a lovely song, Bev. I think the refrain is wonderful - upbeat and catchy.
Good, edgy writing in your stanzas. I like the way you include excerpts from the Good Book.
I think you could include the "pierce my heart" line somewhere in the refrain since it's the song title.
Nicely done. Oh, and I love your author notes. Bet that guy didn't have a clue that his smile was going to spark your creativity.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2011
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What a lovely song, Bev. I think the refrain is wonderful - upbeat and catchy.
Good, edgy writing in your stanzas. I like the way you include excerpts from the Good Book.
I think you could include the "pierce my heart" line somewhere in the refrain since it's the song title.
Nicely done. Oh, and I love your author notes. Bet that guy didn't have a clue that his smile was going to spark your creativity.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much, JJ. I think your suggestion is a very good one...I'll take a second look. So appreciate your excellent and generous review and letting me know what worked for you. Heart Blessings, Bev
Comment from Linda England Bonam
This was a very beautiful piece that I really enjoyed reading. I can understand why there are two awards at the bottom of it! Very good.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
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This was a very beautiful piece that I really enjoyed reading. I can understand why there are two awards at the bottom of it! Very good.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
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Thank you so much, Linda. What a gracious review. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from bookishfabler
When I see poetry, I give it a shot but might not review it if it doesn't say something to me, because of my lack of tecnical knowledge of poetry, So, here I am reviewing your song, which in a way is better, becuase I hear the tune in myhead. Great job, I think. Thanks for sharing. It's amazing what a smile can do.
hugs Book
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
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When I see poetry, I give it a shot but might not review it if it doesn't say something to me, because of my lack of tecnical knowledge of poetry, So, here I am reviewing your song, which in a way is better, becuase I hear the tune in myhead. Great job, I think. Thanks for sharing. It's amazing what a smile can do.
hugs Book
Comment Written 13-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
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Thanks Book! I really appreciate you having a look at my song/poem and offering such a wonderful review. Your supportive words are much appreciated as is your generosity. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Blue Diamond
I confess I know nothing about songwriting. I do know many good songs. I am learning about poetry and know what I like.
I like this.
It reads as a song, it has the rhythm of a song. I sang along to the refrain by the time I got to the end.
There is a smile on my face. Just out of view of your rear view mirror.
Now...who would you like to sing it?
Well done...with love...H x
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
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I confess I know nothing about songwriting. I do know many good songs. I am learning about poetry and know what I like.
I like this.
It reads as a song, it has the rhythm of a song. I sang along to the refrain by the time I got to the end.
There is a smile on my face. Just out of view of your rear view mirror.
Now...who would you like to sing it?
Well done...with love...H x
Comment Written 13-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
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Hi, Blue Diamond. THank you for your awesome review! You've really my day with your enthusiasm and support...I love to sing to just about anyone that's willing to let me have a go would be fine for me. Bright blessings, Bev
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Pierce My Heart' is an exceptionally well-written and intriguing piece. This talented poet's work is in my opinion, open to several interpretations. It was a pleasure to review a work of this standard.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
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'Pierce My Heart' is an exceptionally well-written and intriguing piece. This talented poet's work is in my opinion, open to several interpretations. It was a pleasure to review a work of this standard.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2011
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Hi, duchessofdrumborg. I so appreciate your wonderfully supportive review. Thank you for your time and generosity. Kind regards, Bev
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Bev, you're more than welcome.
With my kindest wishes, the Duchess
Comment from Magics02
Okay there friend first let me say so good to see you and read you once again.NOW I would love to hear you sing this! I love this refrain and can only imagine how it would sound coming from you:
Let the guy behind me smilin'
be my angel for today
and the sunlight streamin'
send the demons far away.
I am glad the guy behind you was smiling and not cutting you off in traffic:) Blessings
Good writing!
In no way was this a 1 it messed up hope it shows now xox
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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Okay there friend first let me say so good to see you and read you once again.NOW I would love to hear you sing this! I love this refrain and can only imagine how it would sound coming from you:
Let the guy behind me smilin'
be my angel for today
and the sunlight streamin'
send the demons far away.
I am glad the guy behind you was smiling and not cutting you off in traffic:) Blessings
Good writing!
In no way was this a 1 it messed up hope it shows now xox
Comment Written 12-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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Well, I do appreciate your words in the review. But I am very surprised at the one star rating. Huh? Good writing? Boy, this has me scratching my head. But, hey, thanks anyway. Bev
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No I went back into fix it and could not I will try again and I am also surprised it did not even give me a warning before hand. I honestly tried to fix it. Brb xoxo
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Hi, there. Something must be off with your computer, magics. This reply came to me as a second reply...I didn't get your first one. Anyway, don't worry...I'm getting the gist here that it was some sort of glitch. Thanks for letting me know that. Honestly, don't worry. Bev
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Does it show where I corrected the star thingy? You got the five and if I had had a six I would of given that too!! xoxo
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Thanks for taking the time to get the rating changed! I do appreciate your generous rating. I five is wonderful in my book and I'm just glad that you liked the piece. So, again, thanks for your support. Xxx Bev
Comment from peggles
I enjoyed reading this song
how nice if it were put to music
This has a lovely warm message a smile from a stranger can lift a gloomy day
I liked the way the choirs rhymes
Well done
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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I enjoyed reading this song
how nice if it were put to music
This has a lovely warm message a smile from a stranger can lift a gloomy day
I liked the way the choirs rhymes
Well done
Comment Written 12-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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Thank you, peggles. I really appreciate you great review. Thank you for stopping by and for your generosity. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
Bev, this spiritual song has some really lovely poetic phrases, e.g., "a voice that's raw and real"; "watch for me / as I stumble / through dead dreams"; and my very favorite, "he hopes he finds the way / to the maker of the dance / and the holder of the key." Many spiritual songs, as much as I love them, are not this poetically well done. Bless the stranger whose smile inspired this song. (I would love to hear it set to music.) With love, Jeanie
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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Bev, this spiritual song has some really lovely poetic phrases, e.g., "a voice that's raw and real"; "watch for me / as I stumble / through dead dreams"; and my very favorite, "he hopes he finds the way / to the maker of the dance / and the holder of the key." Many spiritual songs, as much as I love them, are not this poetically well done. Bless the stranger whose smile inspired this song. (I would love to hear it set to music.) With love, Jeanie
Comment Written 12-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2011
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Hi, Jeanie. I so appreciate your excellent review. Christian rock musicians are following in the steps of their heroes like Dylan and others and coming up with some amazing lyrics. So, it's especially nice to hear that I may be absorbing some of that! You are so very kind, always, in your respectful reviews and encouragement, Jeanie. Just love ya, Bev
