Mike Radshaw and the Black Dawn
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Dark Knights - BD2"The grim reaper casts his pall over London
36 total reviews
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Oh, Fleedleflump:
I'm not sure I should have read this just before I'm
going to bed. If I have nightmares tonight, I won't
blame you, but I will give you the credit. This is
turning into one heck of an adventure but, then, I
knew it would if you continued it.
thanks for sharing
I look forward to the next chapter
love,
jan
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2012
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Oh, Fleedleflump:
I'm not sure I should have read this just before I'm
going to bed. If I have nightmares tonight, I won't
blame you, but I will give you the credit. This is
turning into one heck of an adventure but, then, I
knew it would if you continued it.
thanks for sharing
I look forward to the next chapter
love,
jan
Comment Written 08-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2012
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Thank you, Jan :-). I wrote this chapter almost a year ago, but it was still fresh in my mind when I came to write the new one. I usually have some Mike Radshaw dialogue writing itself in my head, even when I don't have one of his stories on the go, so he's never far fron my mind.
I'm glad you liked this one - it felt hotrific when I wrote it!
Mike
Comment from jjstar
I don't usually read this genre, but enjoyed the story. You used down to earth language and threw in some funny lines, like about diarrhea on the space shuttle, roadrunner doing laps around your stomach. As a matter of fact, your style seems pretty similar to mine! No wonder I like it!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2012
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I don't usually read this genre, but enjoyed the story. You used down to earth language and threw in some funny lines, like about diarrhea on the space shuttle, roadrunner doing laps around your stomach. As a matter of fact, your style seems pretty similar to mine! No wonder I like it!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2012
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Thank you, JJ :-). I use this character to let out all the sarcastic lines and bonkers comparisons I think of. When writing something particularly nasty, I like to put a tongue-in-cheek edge on it because I'm not writing horror, just something occasionally horrific. Then I pulled the humour for the final scene, hopefully to enhance its impact.
I'm so happy you enjoyed it :-).
Mike
Comment from goygoy
base on what i read about the story, well, good narration. you could be able to bring the emotion out of the story. and it scares me, so it means, you have a great potential to be a good suspense author in the future. Just keep it up and you deserve to have a five stars. .excellent job!
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2011
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base on what i read about the story, well, good narration. you could be able to bring the emotion out of the story. and it scares me, so it means, you have a great potential to be a good suspense author in the future. Just keep it up and you deserve to have a five stars. .excellent job!
Comment Written 08-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2011
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Thank you, goygoy :-). I really appreciate the vote of confidence.
Mike
Comment from Thoughtician
Wow! Talk about gripping! You have a way of keeping ones' attention. Very suspense filled and urgent in its reading. Very well worded and cleverly worked. Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2011
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Wow! Talk about gripping! You have a way of keeping ones' attention. Very suspense filled and urgent in its reading. Very well worded and cleverly worked. Well done.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2011
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Thanks, Thoughtician! I love writing with this character, but it can be a bit exhausting! I'm really glad you enjoyed it :-).
Mike
Comment from MyYiaYia
I'm sorry Fleedle, honey, but I only read a few paragraphs. What I read seemed just fine, but my poor ears just aren't used to all the 'sailor talk'. LOL! But, I wanted you to know about the following, so I reviewed anyway. Great line! Deb :0)
descended over London like a lead storm cloud, = This so much reminded me of a line from 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy', the line is 'it hung in the air like bricks don't'. Loved that opener. -
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2011
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I'm sorry Fleedle, honey, but I only read a few paragraphs. What I read seemed just fine, but my poor ears just aren't used to all the 'sailor talk'. LOL! But, I wanted you to know about the following, so I reviewed anyway. Great line! Deb :0)
descended over London like a lead storm cloud, = This so much reminded me of a line from 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy', the line is 'it hung in the air like bricks don't'. Loved that opener. -
Comment Written 03-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2011
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Thank you, Deb :-). I never wish to offend anyone, so don't worry about not reading it all. I'm really glad you liked the opening, and a likening to Douglas Adams is a grand compliment indeed!
Mike
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I know you don't and besides, you write plenty of other stuff that I love to read and review. If that is what a story needs, then that is what it needs. Never defend your position. I will always give everything you write a chance. LOL! And, it isn't that I haven't heard it before, I just choose to avoid it. Love ya1 Deb :0)
Comment from Tellis
This was an awesome chapter and you had me shuddering when he was trying to put her back together. This well written chapter really had me on the edge of my seat and I hope he finds that bastard.
Tellis
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2011
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This was an awesome chapter and you had me shuddering when he was trying to put her back together. This well written chapter really had me on the edge of my seat and I hope he finds that bastard.
Tellis
Comment Written 03-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2011
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Cheers, Tellis - I'm really glad you enjoyed it, mate :-). I spent ages worrying about how to write that scene, which was so stark in my mind's eye that I was making myself shudder! Then it all came out in one go. I wanted a huge contrast between the humour and sarcasm of the previous sections and the gut-wrenching horror of the final one. It's proved too long for casual readers, but thankfully not for those following the tale.
Mike
Comment from barkingdog
If I told you all of the fantastic descriptions and metaphoric pictures that kept me glued to this chapter, I'd have to practically cut and past the whole post. LOL
It seems that you went for a lot of humor a la Mike ( we pee so you don't have to, concrete dildo, Ben Affleck angel) in the beginning and gradually wound it up to the horrific end with him gluing Amy's wounds.
The bar scene with the loopier than a slinky on a roller coaster Knights, and the arian pride of Father Adolf, Wilberford was magnificent. Time was treacle slow, bones crunched, skin and grin(your inner rhyme of your poet always pops in) gave way.
Loved every word. Read too fast to search for spags. Don't really think it matters with this high quality writing.
Bravo, Mike. I bow to a true artist.
Are you published yet? If not, what's up with that?
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2011
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If I told you all of the fantastic descriptions and metaphoric pictures that kept me glued to this chapter, I'd have to practically cut and past the whole post. LOL
It seems that you went for a lot of humor a la Mike ( we pee so you don't have to, concrete dildo, Ben Affleck angel) in the beginning and gradually wound it up to the horrific end with him gluing Amy's wounds.
The bar scene with the loopier than a slinky on a roller coaster Knights, and the arian pride of Father Adolf, Wilberford was magnificent. Time was treacle slow, bones crunched, skin and grin(your inner rhyme of your poet always pops in) gave way.
Loved every word. Read too fast to search for spags. Don't really think it matters with this high quality writing.
Bravo, Mike. I bow to a true artist.
Are you published yet? If not, what's up with that?
Comment Written 02-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2011
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Thank you so much! I was really worried about the length, but this has had a great reception (after a slow start). I'm not sure if there will be one or two more chapters before this tale is complete.
Sadly, not published as yet, although I've only been recently sending bits off in earnest. I'm not sure what to do with long-short-stories like this.
I'm so happy you enjoyed it :-)
Mike
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Compile them into a collection of macabre or whatever. Like Poe, Guy de Maupassant and most poets. People like light bedtime reading. LOL I personally would buy a book of short stories by you. A novel might be exhausting(just kidding, I'd buy a novel, too.) Oh, you could throw in a few poems that follow a similiar theme and with some good art, you've got a book.
Some short stories if the plot is good are made into screen play. But then your talented scene descriptions would be lost.
Best of Luck, Mike.
Comment from sasil
I'm new to the genre--is this what's referred to as "splatter-punk"?
Lots of colorful analogies and comparisons give flavor and wit to your main character--strong 1st person pov. I think you already know the grisle is grisly and the horror is horrible. Cool artwork to go with this. Might have to go back and read previous chapters--I like supernatural horror (it's the real-life psycho killers that keep me up nights). Excellent writing--glad I caught this.
S.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2011
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I'm new to the genre--is this what's referred to as "splatter-punk"?
Lots of colorful analogies and comparisons give flavor and wit to your main character--strong 1st person pov. I think you already know the grisle is grisly and the horror is horrible. Cool artwork to go with this. Might have to go back and read previous chapters--I like supernatural horror (it's the real-life psycho killers that keep me up nights). Excellent writing--glad I caught this.
S.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2011
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Thank you, sasil :-). I have no idea what to call the genre - it took me a while to decide what to pick for the fanstory listing. I'd call if fantasy-comedy-urban-detective-mystery-thriller-crime-horror if I could! I'm really happy you enjoyed it.
Mike
Comment from TammyGail
May I just say - AHEM ...... You fucking rock - There now that's out .... :) This was cleaver a true masterpiece you have here.... Like all the other work of yours mangled with metaphoric sophistication .... I love it and have fallen in love with your work .... The visual image was a perfect fit nice choice ... Well done and thank you for sharing this lovely chapter.....
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2011
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May I just say - AHEM ...... You fucking rock - There now that's out .... :) This was cleaver a true masterpiece you have here.... Like all the other work of yours mangled with metaphoric sophistication .... I love it and have fallen in love with your work .... The visual image was a perfect fit nice choice ... Well done and thank you for sharing this lovely chapter.....
Comment Written 01-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2011
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lol, thank you, Tammy - your review made me chuckle :-). What a great compliment! My only worry with this style is that I'll run out of funky analogies to use in Mike's monologue and speech :-)
Mike
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Lol.... Your a litle wordsmith I'm sure you can conjour something :)
Comment from adewpearl
Mood created effectively in paragraph one.
I love that he still has his doubts about the existence of angels after having experienced zombies et al.
And I must admit I laughed at the Ben Affleck line. LOL
Great humor in the tripping over cliches description of the office.
All the sensitivity of a concrete dildo - now, THAT is one effective image LOL
as welcome as darrhoea on the space shuttle - you are determined to keep me rolling in laughter :-)
I just love slinkies ;-)
My skin and his grin gave way - love that line :-)
Oh, what a horrid scene with Amy's wound and gluing her shut
After all my laughing in the first half, you sure dampened the mood fast! :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2011
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Mood created effectively in paragraph one.
I love that he still has his doubts about the existence of angels after having experienced zombies et al.
And I must admit I laughed at the Ben Affleck line. LOL
Great humor in the tripping over cliches description of the office.
All the sensitivity of a concrete dildo - now, THAT is one effective image LOL
as welcome as darrhoea on the space shuttle - you are determined to keep me rolling in laughter :-)
I just love slinkies ;-)
My skin and his grin gave way - love that line :-)
Oh, what a horrid scene with Amy's wound and gluing her shut
After all my laughing in the first half, you sure dampened the mood fast! :-) Brooke
Comment Written 01-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2011
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Thank you, Brooke :-). That was exactly my hope - that the humour in the first two scenes would really contrast the horror of the final one. I wanted him not just devastated at what was done to his friend, but helpless against his own fear and shock when it came to helping her. That sets up Mike's lonely entrance to the next segment of his tale.
I'm so happy you liked it!
Mike
