Blue Child
A child that wasn't33 total reviews
Comment from Lise Deangelo
I wondered if this poem was about rare blood types, and the incompatibilty of them with others, in reference to the term "blue child". "use" - should be "us"? This is a beautiful and evocative poem expressing yearning for what may have been. Thanks so much for sharing :) Lise
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2011
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I wondered if this poem was about rare blood types, and the incompatibilty of them with others, in reference to the term "blue child". "use" - should be "us"? This is a beautiful and evocative poem expressing yearning for what may have been. Thanks so much for sharing :) Lise
Comment Written 29-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2011
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Thank you Lise for this surprise review. It leds me to review it and correct some mispelling such as "use" and "dada." I'm thinking of another title now; I am leaving it to my subconscious. It's an honor for me you laid your eyes in this special work of mine.
Comment from Martin Sloan
Hi Amada,
This poem has a slightly different feel from your normal work, but it is no less extraordianry for it. It has a restrained language, almost as though you are holding something back. Indeed, it feels like there's something missing, as though you could have gone on to describe something more. However, the writing prompt is about the life we missed and what could have been.
I think what may be specifically missing from this poem is something you deliberately missed out. Infact, the faltering language of the last verse seems to indicate that what you didn't want to reveal almost came out, but at the very last moment, you successfully drew it back.
On the other hand, I feel you might have been able to flesh out your descriptions further and still kept to this 'missing' theme.
Well done and all the best
Martin
p.s. How did you get on with the contest?
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2011
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Hi Amada,
This poem has a slightly different feel from your normal work, but it is no less extraordianry for it. It has a restrained language, almost as though you are holding something back. Indeed, it feels like there's something missing, as though you could have gone on to describe something more. However, the writing prompt is about the life we missed and what could have been.
I think what may be specifically missing from this poem is something you deliberately missed out. Infact, the faltering language of the last verse seems to indicate that what you didn't want to reveal almost came out, but at the very last moment, you successfully drew it back.
On the other hand, I feel you might have been able to flesh out your descriptions further and still kept to this 'missing' theme.
Well done and all the best
Martin
p.s. How did you get on with the contest?
Comment Written 15-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2011
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I'm answering this by pm.
Comment from ulster3
Hi amada.
This is absolutely outstanding. I wish I had a six. This should do very well for you in the contest. I wish you well.
Fondly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2011
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Hi amada.
This is absolutely outstanding. I wish I had a six. This should do very well for you in the contest. I wish you well.
Fondly, Rebecca
Comment Written 04-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2011
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Thank you Rebecca for the great review for this poem.
Comment from themanicdude
Wow the drive is a hard hitting message, and the passion is incredible. I can only award 5 stars at this time but wish I could give you more. Thankyou for sharing such an awesome write.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2011
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Wow the drive is a hard hitting message, and the passion is incredible. I can only award 5 stars at this time but wish I could give you more. Thankyou for sharing such an awesome write.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much themanicdude for reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Rose Hearth
This is a very sad piece, mourning that which 'might have been.' Yet, you totally lost me in the last stanza, "but because not because"?
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2011
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This is a very sad piece, mourning that which 'might have been.' Yet, you totally lost me in the last stanza, "but because not because"?
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2011
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Thank you Rose for the great review to my work here.
Comment from el twelve
that seemed like a tough contest and you did very well at describing something that wasn't. it flowed nicely and was easy to read
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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that seemed like a tough contest and you did very well at describing something that wasn't. it flowed nicely and was easy to read
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much for reading this story that wasn't.
Comment from Wendyanne
Wow amada your heartfelt words have tugged at my heartstrings and moved me to tears. I love the way you have described how he might have been. good luck
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Wow amada your heartfelt words have tugged at my heartstrings and moved me to tears. I love the way you have described how he might have been. good luck
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Wendyanne, I'm sorry I moved you to tears! I wrote this with all my heart. Thank you for reading this work.
Comment from Dklrdmcches
WOW! This was a very creative piece that spoke volumes. You really put it all out there for all to read and it brought a tear to my eye. You captured the essence of the individual and I thought it was fantastic...dark lord
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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WOW! This was a very creative piece that spoke volumes. You really put it all out there for all to read and it brought a tear to my eye. You captured the essence of the individual and I thought it was fantastic...dark lord
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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I put all my heart writing this. Nothing to hide, just the plain truth, missing what could have been. Thank you for your encouraging words.
Comment from jdrhye
Interesting concept of remembering a child never had!! My friend has had this dream for 10 years and has gone through all kinds of testing and fertility and now she is pregnant as well as estaic!! This poem reminds me of many conversations we have had over the years. Nice job, unique read.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Interesting concept of remembering a child never had!! My friend has had this dream for 10 years and has gone through all kinds of testing and fertility and now she is pregnant as well as estaic!! This poem reminds me of many conversations we have had over the years. Nice job, unique read.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Yes, this is a deep subject. Thank you for reading my work and for your supporting review.
Comment from dismac (Paul)
What a wonderful and touching sentiment you have expressed so beautifully. I think that children are gifts from the universe that we don't really own, but just borrow for a time. Know that he did exist. And that he is always with you in your heart and your spirit. Paul
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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What a wonderful and touching sentiment you have expressed so beautifully. I think that children are gifts from the universe that we don't really own, but just borrow for a time. Know that he did exist. And that he is always with you in your heart and your spirit. Paul
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Thank you for this most comforting review to my work on child blue.
