A Man and A Woman
A page from a romance story40 total reviews
Comment from Spiritual Echo
This is beautifully written (except the openng line needs work, awkward) and creates a drowsy contented and reflective morning.
I encourage you to include it as part of a longer story that has additional action, tension or drama.
In its present form it is a wonderful descriptive, but as a atand alone piece it needs more.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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This is beautifully written (except the openng line needs work, awkward) and creates a drowsy contented and reflective morning.
I encourage you to include it as part of a longer story that has additional action, tension or drama.
In its present form it is a wonderful descriptive, but as a atand alone piece it needs more.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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Thank you Echo. Blessings to you.
Comment from louparis
Well written and erotic piece of work. The members of the Chick-Lit club will enjoy this one no end.
I could find no errors and was aroused.
Lou
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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Well written and erotic piece of work. The members of the Chick-Lit club will enjoy this one no end.
I could find no errors and was aroused.
Lou
Comment Written 08-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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lol Did not mean to arouse. Thank you Lou.
Comment from JW
Hmm. This was different. Usually one reads about a couple who look like perfect models. Congratulations on successfully breaking the mold on your well written story.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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Hmm. This was different. Usually one reads about a couple who look like perfect models. Congratulations on successfully breaking the mold on your well written story.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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lol I try to keep it real Janathon. Thank you my friend.
Comment from lola29
You've used some very good expressions to describe your chararacters. It seems they are happy with each other after consummating their marriage vows. Other than that, I would have to interject my own imagination.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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You've used some very good expressions to describe your chararacters. It seems they are happy with each other after consummating their marriage vows. Other than that, I would have to interject my own imagination.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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lol Thank you lola. Go for it. Blessings my dear.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
amahra:
this is more than just a story about two people being
lazy after a romantic night together because you share
descriptions about the man that indicate a beautiful
woman has chosen to be the wife of a man who appears
to balding already and a bit overweight -- in other
words, not exactly a male model -- but she is obviously
in love with him for him and he, her -- you have
written a story of a couple in love who are just
beginning their lives together -- BRAVO!
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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amahra:
this is more than just a story about two people being
lazy after a romantic night together because you share
descriptions about the man that indicate a beautiful
woman has chosen to be the wife of a man who appears
to balding already and a bit overweight -- in other
words, not exactly a male model -- but she is obviously
in love with him for him and he, her -- you have
written a story of a couple in love who are just
beginning their lives together -- BRAVO!
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 08-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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Thank you Jan. You get it, BRAVO to you too my friend. Blessings to you.
Comment from R. K. Alan
This story made for a delightful and easy read. Loved the tenderness and the passion without becoming erotic or profane. Nice balance. Thanks for the storytelling. ray aka R. K. Alan
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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This story made for a delightful and easy read. Loved the tenderness and the passion without becoming erotic or profane. Nice balance. Thanks for the storytelling. ray aka R. K. Alan
Comment Written 08-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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Thank you again Ray.
Comment from Enrique28
This is a lovely piece of writing! The physical description of the groom adds reality to the scene. Passion is not always inspired by perfection! And I also love the way you tell about his nervousness with the subsequent search for the ring. An interesting anecdote with a touch of humour that spurs the reader on. Oh! And it is also very romantic. Well done!
Enrique
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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This is a lovely piece of writing! The physical description of the groom adds reality to the scene. Passion is not always inspired by perfection! And I also love the way you tell about his nervousness with the subsequent search for the ring. An interesting anecdote with a touch of humour that spurs the reader on. Oh! And it is also very romantic. Well done!
Enrique
Comment Written 08-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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Thank you Enrique. I'm so glad you liked it. Blessings. to you.
Comment from Earthwriter
very well written without a trace of vulgarness it is rare on this site when someone post something that is beautiful without cheapening it excellent
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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very well written without a trace of vulgarness it is rare on this site when someone post something that is beautiful without cheapening it excellent
Comment Written 08-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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Wow thank you Earthwriter. You're the only one who has said that. I really appreciate you're saying that; it means a lot. I was trying to show sex in all its beauty and without insulting anyone. I was hoping I didn't that. Blessings to you my friend.
Comment from ameen786
amahra, the beauty of a story is for the readers to grasp it in the first read and you have that talent to write easy to read, down to earth, smooth flowing lines that gives the reader a pleasant feeling after the read. And, adding a little humor was great; enjoyed very much, thank you my friend and God bless you.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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amahra, the beauty of a story is for the readers to grasp it in the first read and you have that talent to write easy to read, down to earth, smooth flowing lines that gives the reader a pleasant feeling after the read. And, adding a little humor was great; enjoyed very much, thank you my friend and God bless you.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2011
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Again, I thank you for your support and great comments my friend.
Comment from The Stranger
It has a sort of down to earth realism about it, nothing glamourised, the man obviously worse for wear and long gone are his manly physiqies and handsome appearance, whilst the lady accepts him still for the man inside the unkept body
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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It has a sort of down to earth realism about it, nothing glamourised, the man obviously worse for wear and long gone are his manly physiqies and handsome appearance, whilst the lady accepts him still for the man inside the unkept body
Comment Written 07-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Thank you stranger. Blessings as always. I appreciate you.
