Chasing the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "My Son, The Adventurer"A southern couple's journey in the 60's,70's & 80'
46 total reviews
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Don always pushes the envelope and luckily comes out okay. Your telling of his adventures is well written and a very interesting read. You certainly proved that raising a son is an adventure itself.
I truly enjoyed the read and good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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Don always pushes the envelope and luckily comes out okay. Your telling of his adventures is well written and a very interesting read. You certainly proved that raising a son is an adventure itself.
I truly enjoyed the read and good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 27-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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Thank you Mary, When he was young he did push the envelope. His isn't such a dare-devil now.
Beth
Comment from BLACKTITANIUM86
I enjoyed this write. For, you are subtly creative.
And it looks like Clad needs to plan out his trips,
before he goes on a journey with a bike. But you
did your thing. Keep Writing. And try to stop by my
spot. Either way, Stay Connected
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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I enjoyed this write. For, you are subtly creative.
And it looks like Clad needs to plan out his trips,
before he goes on a journey with a bike. But you
did your thing. Keep Writing. And try to stop by my
spot. Either way, Stay Connected
Comment Written 27-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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Thanks for this review as well. My son is older now and my caution and I think the snake incident with the snake scared he badly enough that he makes sure someone is aware of what he is about to do.
Beth
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I guess boys will be boys as they say. Your story brings out the necessary effort of trying to make a living. They tried everything to survive and then they did the wrong thing (for instance the railroad logs). Glad that the snake bit was curable.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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I guess boys will be boys as they say. Your story brings out the necessary effort of trying to make a living. They tried everything to survive and then they did the wrong thing (for instance the railroad logs). Glad that the snake bit was curable.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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Thank you Rosemary, I really appreciate the review and comments.
Beth
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well written. Nice story.
A couple typos:
With the summer behind us, We felt we could relax a bit. - comma
we relaxed n the false assumption - in?
the time frame in which I wring about now. - write?
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
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Well written. Nice story.
A couple typos:
With the summer behind us, We felt we could relax a bit. - comma
we relaxed n the false assumption - in?
the time frame in which I wring about now. - write?
Best wishes.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
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Thank you for reviewing this. I'm surprised you found it because it did get promoted the way it was supposed to. I really appreciate the you finding the spags.
Beth
Comment from prettybluebirds
I found your story and enjoyed reading it. I never knew that some snakes don't release their venom. Your son was very lucky. I was thinking that riding the bike was the worst thing he could do after being snake-bit. One is never too old to learn something new. Right? This is a great entry for the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2022
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I found your story and enjoyed reading it. I never knew that some snakes don't release their venom. Your son was very lucky. I was thinking that riding the bike was the worst thing he could do after being snake-bit. One is never too old to learn something new. Right? This is a great entry for the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the review and comment. He was very fortunate. He could have died and no one would have known how to find him.
Beth
Comment from lancellot
It seems your boy had one of those spirits that refused to be bound or tamed. He was full of energy, even when he tightened a bolt he couldn't contain the extra energy surging within. I can only imagine his adventures in college.
Well written.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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It seems your boy had one of those spirits that refused to be bound or tamed. He was full of energy, even when he tightened a bolt he couldn't contain the extra energy surging within. I can only imagine his adventures in college.
Well written.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the review and comments. Yes he did have a free spirit. I felt lucky he survived to grow up.
Beth
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Beth, I would give this a six-star rating if I had one. Your son did not have the Midas touch. It sounds very much like he was the complete opposite.
I had four boys and the eldest is a Doctor of herpetology, which is the study of reptiles and amphibians. And on every vacation, he was on the hunt for snakes. We would find out when we returned home that somehow he brought one with him. Don't ask. So as far as finding out later what close calls they all had, been there done that. Great story, Beth. I may write one soon.
Ralf
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2021
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Beth, I would give this a six-star rating if I had one. Your son did not have the Midas touch. It sounds very much like he was the complete opposite.
I had four boys and the eldest is a Doctor of herpetology, which is the study of reptiles and amphibians. And on every vacation, he was on the hunt for snakes. We would find out when we returned home that somehow he brought one with him. Don't ask. So as far as finding out later what close calls they all had, been there done that. Great story, Beth. I may write one soon.
Ralf
Comment Written 02-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2021
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Thank you Ralf, Yes this child gave me gray hairs and I'm glad i didn't know quite everything until later. LOL I look forward to hearing the story about the snake collector.
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It may be a while in coming.
Ralf
Comment from zanya
What a superb piece of writing telling a real life story about a young man growing up and coming to grips with the reality of the world -the sheer joy of parenting !
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2021
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What a superb piece of writing telling a real life story about a young man growing up and coming to grips with the reality of the world -the sheer joy of parenting !
Comment Written 01-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the review and nice comments. I'm so glad you like it.
Beth
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Very entertaining, Beth! Yet I'm sure a lot of it was rather frightening at the time, and in equal measure, frustrating. This is very well written and quite colorful.
My usual revisions:
...leading a group of innocent pre-teens into a series of capers their moms probably would have been horrified had they only known.
-->
leading a group of innocent pre-teens into a series of capers their moms probably would have been horrified by, had they only known.
...He must have known it wouldn't be the last time that summer His assistance would be needed.
-->
...He must have known it wouldn't be the last time that summer, when His assistance would be needed.
...by tightening the bolts too tight.
-->
...by fastening the bolts too tight.
Clad in khaki shorts and a T-shirt,
-->
Clad in khaki shorts and a tee-shirt,
"I'm gonna' die.
-->
"I'm gonna die. [It's a quotation, which makes the slang acceptable, and anyway, "gonna" doesn't have an apostrophe.]
...but he was so out of breath. he could barely speak.
-->
...but he was so out of breath, he could barely speak.
But for a day or so, we relaxed n the false assumption ...
-->
But for a day or so, we relaxed on the false assumption ...
I found it intriguing that the bite of a large snake would be less lethal than the bite of a smaller one. And I found the story of the gold-painted railroad spikes very funny. Your son sure did find his share of trouble! You're right, this story makes a great complement to the "Remembering Yesterday" chapters you've written recently. I am sure your son is much better behaved, these days :-)
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2021
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Very entertaining, Beth! Yet I'm sure a lot of it was rather frightening at the time, and in equal measure, frustrating. This is very well written and quite colorful.
My usual revisions:
...leading a group of innocent pre-teens into a series of capers their moms probably would have been horrified had they only known.
-->
leading a group of innocent pre-teens into a series of capers their moms probably would have been horrified by, had they only known.
...He must have known it wouldn't be the last time that summer His assistance would be needed.
-->
...He must have known it wouldn't be the last time that summer, when His assistance would be needed.
...by tightening the bolts too tight.
-->
...by fastening the bolts too tight.
Clad in khaki shorts and a T-shirt,
-->
Clad in khaki shorts and a tee-shirt,
"I'm gonna' die.
-->
"I'm gonna die. [It's a quotation, which makes the slang acceptable, and anyway, "gonna" doesn't have an apostrophe.]
...but he was so out of breath. he could barely speak.
-->
...but he was so out of breath, he could barely speak.
But for a day or so, we relaxed n the false assumption ...
-->
But for a day or so, we relaxed on the false assumption ...
I found it intriguing that the bite of a large snake would be less lethal than the bite of a smaller one. And I found the story of the gold-painted railroad spikes very funny. Your son sure did find his share of trouble! You're right, this story makes a great complement to the "Remembering Yesterday" chapters you've written recently. I am sure your son is much better behaved, these days :-)
Comment Written 01-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2021
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I really thought I answered this last night when I made you suggested corrections. Maybe I didn't hit save. Your review have meant the world to me this year. I'm so pleased that you have liked my story. Have wonderful New Year, my friend.
Beth
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You're very welcome, Beth. Yes, it could be that you didn't hit save. Thank you for making sure you replied and expressed your appreciation! Your nomination really helped, too, as I won the Reviewing Contest for January, yay! Thank you so much, Beth. A Happy and Healthy New Year to you and your family!
Comment from Vanessa Newman
Interesting story that you tell well and your anxiety and vicarious participation comes through. I like this line, "The hair-raising tales of his close calls usually filtered back to me long after the incidents had passed." I do feel like you attempted to put too much additional information about his Summer shenanigans into the last three paragraphs and that felt a bit overwhelming and rushed. Overall, he sounds like a handful, and you and he both lived to tell the tales.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2020
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Interesting story that you tell well and your anxiety and vicarious participation comes through. I like this line, "The hair-raising tales of his close calls usually filtered back to me long after the incidents had passed." I do feel like you attempted to put too much additional information about his Summer shenanigans into the last three paragraphs and that felt a bit overwhelming and rushed. Overall, he sounds like a handful, and you and he both lived to tell the tales.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2020
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Thank you for the review and comments. I did have to go back and rework the last three paragraphs. I went to lunch with my son today and he reminded me that falling two stories a barely missing his head was a later construction job. This one involved a beam falling on his head and knocking him out. I don't think it seems quite so rushed now. I was disappointed in the four stars. Almost no one on this site gives less than five unless a work is a disaster beyond repair.
Beth
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I am still learning about FanStory, so please forgive my ignorance on the number of stars. Thanks for educating me.
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It is easy to understand why new writers are confused because they follow the FanStory guidelines. But the people who write seemed to have made their own rules. Most of us would never give less than five stars unless we promised to go back and change the rating, once our suggested correction is made. If you have six stars and someone give you four, Neither the six not the four counts. We hate losing our sixes. LOL
