Little Billy
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Time In A Bottle."memiors from my life experiences.
19 total reviews
Comment from fluffnstuff
"well it doesn't have to be that way etc etc" and photographs and memories sad, such a heartfelt talent...a nice experience to remember absolutely beautiful face on the boy at your link it is like i have seen him before. hello/goodbye/touch p.s...ted t my mentor got a book contract
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2010
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"well it doesn't have to be that way etc etc" and photographs and memories sad, such a heartfelt talent...a nice experience to remember absolutely beautiful face on the boy at your link it is like i have seen him before. hello/goodbye/touch p.s...ted t my mentor got a book contract
Comment Written 04-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2010
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thanks again for the great review and the stars.
Comment from dportwood
keimosobie,
I am not familiar with Jim Groce, but recognize most of the songs you wrote of. This story is told like a story teller tells a story. Well done.
Duane
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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keimosobie,
I am not familiar with Jim Groce, but recognize most of the songs you wrote of. This story is told like a story teller tells a story. Well done.
Duane
Comment Written 29-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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thank you
Comment from gramalot8
Keimosobie, thanks for sharing this story with us. What a treat to have actually known Jim Croce. It was tragic the way he died, that's for sure. I really liked your impressionist way with words and descriptions. Thanks again for a good piece.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2010
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Keimosobie, thanks for sharing this story with us. What a treat to have actually known Jim Croce. It was tragic the way he died, that's for sure. I really liked your impressionist way with words and descriptions. Thanks again for a good piece.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2010
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thanks for your kind review.
Comment from lola29
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story, and I'm so happy you had the chance to experience the excitement of Disneyland, the happiest place on earth. At least that's what I thought on my first visit.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2010
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I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story, and I'm so happy you had the chance to experience the excitement of Disneyland, the happiest place on earth. At least that's what I thought on my first visit.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2010
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thank you for your kind review
Comment from fictionwriter
Interesting little story. It was written much like a six year old would write, I enjoyed it very much. Great job.
Being a six year old(,) I was not allowed
around four(-)thirty (delete pm) Jim
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2010
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Interesting little story. It was written much like a six year old would write, I enjoyed it very much. Great job.
Being a six year old(,) I was not allowed
around four(-)thirty (delete pm) Jim
Comment Written 27-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and the corrections.
Comment from bowls
This is a great story and really well told. The details a child would remember - the endless waiting, the harsh treatment, the anticipation - really bring this story to life. What a great experience you had, and then what sadness following directly upon it. I love your last line. Very well done. Thanks for sharing this time of your life.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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This is a great story and really well told. The details a child would remember - the endless waiting, the harsh treatment, the anticipation - really bring this story to life. What a great experience you had, and then what sadness following directly upon it. I love your last line. Very well done. Thanks for sharing this time of your life.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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thank you for the excellent review and for taking the time to read it.
Comment from Paulpl52
This is a well put together story of memories from a young boys point of view. You have told it well and the parts where you were beaten with various parents must have hurt you a lot in many ways. I remember the song well and thought he had a unique voice.
The 6th paragraph, 4th line should read wasn't 'ALLOWED' as opposed to aloud. There is another spag somewhere which I've lost. A nice heartwarming if not sad story which I enjoyed reading. Blessings, Paul.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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This is a well put together story of memories from a young boys point of view. You have told it well and the parts where you were beaten with various parents must have hurt you a lot in many ways. I remember the song well and thought he had a unique voice.
The 6th paragraph, 4th line should read wasn't 'ALLOWED' as opposed to aloud. There is another spag somewhere which I've lost. A nice heartwarming if not sad story which I enjoyed reading. Blessings, Paul.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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thank you for the read and the correction.
Comment from c_lucas
This is a very well written story reciting the memories of a very young person. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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This is a very well written story reciting the memories of a very young person. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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thank you for taking the time to read it and for the excellent review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from eliz100
This was a good read from beginning to end. You have captured the spirit of the six year-old in foster care. I really like the last line.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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This was a good read from beginning to end. You have captured the spirit of the six year-old in foster care. I really like the last line.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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thank you for taking the tiome to review it and for the coments
Comment from Carrie Smith
Evening. Is this Fiction or Nonfiction? What ever, your story with great descriptions about the little boy's delight in the experience with a family that cared about him and his great time on the trip. So important and fateful that he found a life. One little nit. Was the word aloud meant to be allowed? A great write that kept my attention throughout. Fix those few nits and this should be a good contender in the contest
Nice write...Susan
I love Croce's music!
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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Evening. Is this Fiction or Nonfiction? What ever, your story with great descriptions about the little boy's delight in the experience with a family that cared about him and his great time on the trip. So important and fateful that he found a life. One little nit. Was the word aloud meant to be allowed? A great write that kept my attention throughout. Fix those few nits and this should be a good contender in the contest
Nice write...Susan
I love Croce's music!
Comment Written 26-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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non fiction(I fixed that thanks) thanks for the review. and the coments.
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NO problem - I do stuff like that all the time. You are very welcome on all counts...