Bottom of the Loch
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "In the Deep"Parents die, so she moves in with unknown family
10 total reviews
Comment from Amyna
You have described the part with the father and that whole scene very well. It was like watching a movie as I read this chapter.
"so did not live as could not breathe the air.." -- does not sound quite right. Perhaps you should read again and re-write again, if you think necessary.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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You have described the part with the father and that whole scene very well. It was like watching a movie as I read this chapter.
"so did not live as could not breathe the air.." -- does not sound quite right. Perhaps you should read again and re-write again, if you think necessary.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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thank you so so much
Comment from ulster3
Hello wierdgrace.
Thanks for this chapter. How horrible to ever think you were intimate with an octupus. I hope Bonnie never finds out about Nick.
Hugs, Rebecca
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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Hello wierdgrace.
Thanks for this chapter. How horrible to ever think you were intimate with an octupus. I hope Bonnie never finds out about Nick.
Hugs, Rebecca
Comment Written 26-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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thank you for reading as you always do
Comment from Tellis
I must say she is taking it pretty well, but she's still in shock I bet. I enjoyed reading this excellent chapter.
Tellis
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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I must say she is taking it pretty well, but she's still in shock I bet. I enjoyed reading this excellent chapter.
Tellis
Comment Written 26-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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just a teen ager, but you are right thank you
Comment from Readywriter52
They have told Bonnie that her baby is dead. It couldn't breathe. Nick took the child and gave it to a creature he called mother. Now Bonnie has to decide what she's going to do next.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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They have told Bonnie that her baby is dead. It couldn't breathe. Nick took the child and gave it to a creature he called mother. Now Bonnie has to decide what she's going to do next.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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so true
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I read these out of order. SORRY!!!! I started from the top Of my PM's instead of the bottom. I am sure Bonnie is smart enough to figure it all out. She can put two and two together.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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I read these out of order. SORRY!!!! I started from the top Of my PM's instead of the bottom. I am sure Bonnie is smart enough to figure it all out. She can put two and two together.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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that is okay,i think so, part two will come soon, after the edit
Comment from misscookie
You know lady , this stroy is really getting to me it touch my heart when she learn the baby died I know it's just a story but your writting makes a reader feel as if it's real
this is a good write.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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You know lady , this stroy is really getting to me it touch my heart when she learn the baby died I know it's just a story but your writting makes a reader feel as if it's real
this is a good write.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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so true, thank you
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You are very welcome,Take care.
Comment from tspencer
Ok, the last time I read a chapter from this book she had lain with Nick. I totally missed the part where he is actually an octopus (OK, that is just gross), let alone got pregnant by him. I really need to read the rest of the book.
tspencer
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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Ok, the last time I read a chapter from this book she had lain with Nick. I totally missed the part where he is actually an octopus (OK, that is just gross), let alone got pregnant by him. I really need to read the rest of the book.
tspencer
Comment Written 25-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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he changed while he was with her, human, a part two will be coming too
Comment from krprice
Sara left, and Nellie sent Hank home. . .
No need to cap b in breakfast.
Bonnie awoke and called out. Nellie came. . .
Show all this.
We need to see Bonnie's reaction.
"Gee, it sure. . . You know, Nellie, I dreamed Nick. . .
Karlene
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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Sara left, and Nellie sent Hank home. . .
No need to cap b in breakfast.
Bonnie awoke and called out. Nellie came. . .
Show all this.
We need to see Bonnie's reaction.
"Gee, it sure. . . You know, Nellie, I dreamed Nick. . .
Karlene
Comment Written 25-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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thank you again for all your help
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
this is a very well written and sad chapter.
[as I drifted off to sleep, I knew something was wrong, as I heard you all running out of the room and I never heard the baby cry." ] - this bit really struck a cord with me. Very realistic and i could feel the mother's pain
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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this is a very well written and sad chapter.
[as I drifted off to sleep, I knew something was wrong, as I heard you all running out of the room and I never heard the baby cry." ] - this bit really struck a cord with me. Very realistic and i could feel the mother's pain
Comment Written 25-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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so so true
Comment from adewpearl
getting Gramps and her some Breakfast - breakfast
Nick, who was now in his natural form - add comma
carried the baby, gently placing it - add comma
I have not been reading this book, but I can tell it has a fascinating storyline - you handle the dialogue well in this chapter as the young mother is told the monster growing inside her did not survive birth. Brooke
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2010
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getting Gramps and her some Breakfast - breakfast
Nick, who was now in his natural form - add comma
carried the baby, gently placing it - add comma
I have not been reading this book, but I can tell it has a fascinating storyline - you handle the dialogue well in this chapter as the young mother is told the monster growing inside her did not survive birth. Brooke
Comment Written 25-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2010
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I knew this was not right, thank you and I will revive
