See The World Through My Son's Eyes
seeing as only a child can.15 total reviews
Comment from amada
"If you try really hard, you can see and hear God's work everywhere." What a magical and simple phrase. Out of the mouth of babes come the most awesome truths. Jeffrey is sure a gift from God to all of us.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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"If you try really hard, you can see and hear God's work everywhere." What a magical and simple phrase. Out of the mouth of babes come the most awesome truths. Jeffrey is sure a gift from God to all of us.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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thank you very much for your comments and 5 star rating.
Comment from zoocq
So well written and full of fun suspense. It made me remember my times with my daughters, when one of them would bend their chubby little legs and squat low to the ground...just staring at the ants as they crawled their tiny hills...or picking up a stick to prod a dead bug. What a wonderful way to see the world!
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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So well written and full of fun suspense. It made me remember my times with my daughters, when one of them would bend their chubby little legs and squat low to the ground...just staring at the ants as they crawled their tiny hills...or picking up a stick to prod a dead bug. What a wonderful way to see the world!
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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thank you for your comments
Comment from Gideon Roth
This was beautifully done. I really do enjoy coming across children's stories and this one was especially well done. The innocence of children is priceless and they truly do see beauty that we adults have lost as we became older. I only have a couple of observations that may like to be made aware of. I have noticed that when I post from a word document that the text gets distorted and my format get messed up. You may wish to look at some of the extra spaces between some of the words and a few places with respect to inverted letters. A couple of examples are below:
I (relunctantly)()turned away from my computer screen.
If you try really hard, you can see and hear( )God's work everywhere. This is one of my favorite lines by the way.
I have a great appreciation for your writing and will look for future postings...Gideon
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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This was beautifully done. I really do enjoy coming across children's stories and this one was especially well done. The innocence of children is priceless and they truly do see beauty that we adults have lost as we became older. I only have a couple of observations that may like to be made aware of. I have noticed that when I post from a word document that the text gets distorted and my format get messed up. You may wish to look at some of the extra spaces between some of the words and a few places with respect to inverted letters. A couple of examples are below:
I (relunctantly)()turned away from my computer screen.
If you try really hard, you can see and hear( )God's work everywhere. This is one of my favorite lines by the way.
I have a great appreciation for your writing and will look for future postings...Gideon
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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I really appreciate your comments and critique. thank you
Comment from Amina Ahmed
wonderful in one word. the idea of the writing is beautiful and i like the flow that is smoth.
it often happens with me that i keep ignoring my children and usually when they go to sleep ; it hits me that i didnt give them time at all. i feel guilty at nite when i am free from all the work. i realized it again only after reading your piece of art.
i really liked it. keep it up! keep writing. take care
amina
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reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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wonderful in one word. the idea of the writing is beautiful and i like the flow that is smoth.
it often happens with me that i keep ignoring my children and usually when they go to sleep ; it hits me that i didnt give them time at all. i feel guilty at nite when i am free from all the work. i realized it again only after reading your piece of art.
i really liked it. keep it up! keep writing. take care
amina
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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thank you for your wonderful comments and rating
Comment from DrJane
What a delightful story! Your imagery and the artwork combine to draw the reader right into the story. Notes: Last paragraph, Line 2: "God-colored"; Line 3: split infinitive--"I had definitely been bitten by it." Last line: Capitalize "I".
Blessings,
Jane
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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What a delightful story! Your imagery and the artwork combine to draw the reader right into the story. Notes: Last paragraph, Line 2: "God-colored"; Line 3: split infinitive--"I had definitely been bitten by it." Last line: Capitalize "I".
Blessings,
Jane
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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Thanks for the critique and rating. I will re-visit the poem and revise.
