See The World Through My Son's Eyes
seeing as only a child can.15 total reviews
Comment from karenina
I have no idea how I've been here since 2007 and we haven't "collided" in all that time. This story is too beautiful to be fiction. That is, I mean I'm certain you experienced so many moments like this through your son's eyes and perhaps you combined them for the contest.
My son is 44 now and I still recall those special moments. have them even now with the youngest of my grandchildren
God's blessing is to allow us to stop the "tumult" of adulting and truly embrace the vision and miracle of His love.
Karenina
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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I have no idea how I've been here since 2007 and we haven't "collided" in all that time. This story is too beautiful to be fiction. That is, I mean I'm certain you experienced so many moments like this through your son's eyes and perhaps you combined them for the contest.
My son is 44 now and I still recall those special moments. have them even now with the youngest of my grandchildren
God's blessing is to allow us to stop the "tumult" of adulting and truly embrace the vision and miracle of His love.
Karenina
Comment Written 15-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Thanks Karenina. I was quite active on here when first joined, so am surprised as well. I?ve been on and off the past couple of years but hope to keep on it now. Thanks for loving my poem. My son will be 57 in October. I?m now experiencing great fun with greatgrandkids now and loving it.
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Okay... Maybe that explains it. Now that I've found you, I don't want to lose touch, so I'll be over soon to fan you!
Comment from Liz O'Neill
The opening paragraph causes the reader to want to urge the mommy to follow him. We don't want to miss it. Maybe she thinks what she's doing is important but we have a sense of excited urgency and hope she'll cease her busy-ness and go follow him. Great lead-on, This is delightfully told...the Hopi Indians have a chant Jeffrey or you might like. It means of the earth. Techqua Icachi look at nature with a soft gaze and take a breath and you will see all of nature at once. A+ material
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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The opening paragraph causes the reader to want to urge the mommy to follow him. We don't want to miss it. Maybe she thinks what she's doing is important but we have a sense of excited urgency and hope she'll cease her busy-ness and go follow him. Great lead-on, This is delightfully told...the Hopi Indians have a chant Jeffrey or you might like. It means of the earth. Techqua Icachi look at nature with a soft gaze and take a breath and you will see all of nature at once. A+ material
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much for going back through my portfolio. I really appreciate it. That young boy I wrote about is now 56 years young. Lol
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I enjoy going way back then working my way forward
Comment from KeepSmiling
Beutiful story, beautifully written. I could almost see and hear what you so vividly described. Sometimes it takes a child's fresh perspective to really appreciate the world around us! One typo in the third paragraph "..a littler happier." Thanks for sharing this great story!
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Beutiful story, beautifully written. I could almost see and hear what you so vividly described. Sometimes it takes a child's fresh perspective to really appreciate the world around us! One typo in the third paragraph "..a littler happier." Thanks for sharing this great story!
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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thank you for your comments.
Comment from Begin Again
Writer,
A child's imagination and innocents gives them a wider, clearer picture of MOther Nature and life it self. Wow...this was a spectacular look through Jeffrey's eyes. Well done.
Carol
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Writer,
A child's imagination and innocents gives them a wider, clearer picture of MOther Nature and life it self. Wow...this was a spectacular look through Jeffrey's eyes. Well done.
Carol
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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thank you for your comments.
Comment from missy98writer
Writer,
your story through the eyes of a child is beautifully write. Lovely art work you used. Excellent internal dialogue, great narrative, and vivid imagery. Very descriptive writing, here's an example or two:
As I typed away, I could hear Jeffrey through the open window humming his usual self-made tune. I glanced through the dusty pane and could see him rhythmically turning around and round in a small circle, his shoulders slumped as only an unhappy child could do. He looked so vulnerable and lost out there all by himself. I knew there would be no more writing for a deadline or anything else at this point. I had to make one little boy a littler happier with life, and most of all with me.
Slowly I lifted my head and tried to see through the leafy window of the tall oak tree. What, Jeffrey, what am I supposed to see? Jeffrey slowly brought his head closer to mine, his words quietly tumbling out. Sort of close your eyes... really hard. See the colors in the leaves? See how they all melt together? See the shiny spots and sparkly circles? Look, see all the colors mixed together on the flowers? Do you see it? Shh. Listen. Do you hear it? He giggled as I gave him a puzzled look. You can hear the bugs movin' everywhere. Isn't it neat? It's just like my teacher tole' us in Sunday School yesterday. If you try really hard, you can see and hear God's work everywhere. Today, I found it up in the sky, in the trees and down here on the flowers! I just laid here and looked 'round and 'round and ....there it was! Do you see it, Mommy?
Your story was a very enjoyable piece and a fabulous entry in the writing prompt. Good luck in the voting booth. Impressive writing.
Missy.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Writer,
your story through the eyes of a child is beautifully write. Lovely art work you used. Excellent internal dialogue, great narrative, and vivid imagery. Very descriptive writing, here's an example or two:
As I typed away, I could hear Jeffrey through the open window humming his usual self-made tune. I glanced through the dusty pane and could see him rhythmically turning around and round in a small circle, his shoulders slumped as only an unhappy child could do. He looked so vulnerable and lost out there all by himself. I knew there would be no more writing for a deadline or anything else at this point. I had to make one little boy a littler happier with life, and most of all with me.
Slowly I lifted my head and tried to see through the leafy window of the tall oak tree. What, Jeffrey, what am I supposed to see? Jeffrey slowly brought his head closer to mine, his words quietly tumbling out. Sort of close your eyes... really hard. See the colors in the leaves? See how they all melt together? See the shiny spots and sparkly circles? Look, see all the colors mixed together on the flowers? Do you see it? Shh. Listen. Do you hear it? He giggled as I gave him a puzzled look. You can hear the bugs movin' everywhere. Isn't it neat? It's just like my teacher tole' us in Sunday School yesterday. If you try really hard, you can see and hear God's work everywhere. Today, I found it up in the sky, in the trees and down here on the flowers! I just laid here and looked 'round and 'round and ....there it was! Do you see it, Mommy?
Your story was a very enjoyable piece and a fabulous entry in the writing prompt. Good luck in the voting booth. Impressive writing.
Missy.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Thanks for your wonderful words and comments. I hope you voted.
Comment from rmdelta
this is a very strong contest entry and a really nice story. Great descriptives througout provide us vivid imagery and the dialogue was terrific. Good luck
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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this is a very strong contest entry and a really nice story. Great descriptives througout provide us vivid imagery and the dialogue was terrific. Good luck
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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thank you for your comments.
Comment from fairydancer
Lovely story about a child starting to appreciate the beauty of God's nature around him (I didn't start to appreciate it until I was in my 30's! - depression etc.)
Nice descriptions.
This a very appropriate and good entry for this contest - good luck - Cally :))
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Lovely story about a child starting to appreciate the beauty of God's nature around him (I didn't start to appreciate it until I was in my 30's! - depression etc.)
Nice descriptions.
This a very appropriate and good entry for this contest - good luck - Cally :))
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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thank you for your comments
Comment from Belinda
The eyes of a child is somewhat different because of the child's innocence and pure attitude. Good for you to finally decide to leave your work awhile and see beauty through Jeffrey's eyes. Interesting, poignant srory.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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The eyes of a child is somewhat different because of the child's innocence and pure attitude. Good for you to finally decide to leave your work awhile and see beauty through Jeffrey's eyes. Interesting, poignant srory.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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thanks for the comments
Comment from Jnetgame
This is a very well written, descriptive story. I enjoyed reading it. One suggestion I have is to put actual words said by Jefferey or the mom in quotes rather than italics. Italics usually indicate thoughts. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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This is a very well written, descriptive story. I enjoyed reading it. One suggestion I have is to put actual words said by Jefferey or the mom in quotes rather than italics. Italics usually indicate thoughts. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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thank you for your remarks
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form, good flow, good story, i enjoyed reading it very much, made me smile about you wanting to be on your feet so you could run when IT came out of hiding. i wish you luck in the contest
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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this is very well written with good form, good flow, good story, i enjoyed reading it very much, made me smile about you wanting to be on your feet so you could run when IT came out of hiding. i wish you luck in the contest
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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thank you for your comments and best wishes.
