Bottom of the Loch
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "With Child, Gramps becomes aware"Parents die, so she moves in with unknown family
11 total reviews
Comment from Tellis
Boy that Gramps sure is a no nonsense kind of guy when he gets his head out of the clouds, isn't he? Great chapter.
Tellis
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Boy that Gramps sure is a no nonsense kind of guy when he gets his head out of the clouds, isn't he? Great chapter.
Tellis
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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thank you
Comment from anabelle
You are so prolific. I look away for a short time, and come back to chapter 10 of a new story. Wow! You're very impressive, and I'm sure I've told you this before.
Thanks for the interesting read.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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You are so prolific. I look away for a short time, and come back to chapter 10 of a new story. Wow! You're very impressive, and I'm sure I've told you this before.
Thanks for the interesting read.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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thank you so much, posting more
Comment from krprice
"She may be here when we get back. . .
Good chapter, full of action. I look forward to when everyone learns Nick and the baby aren't human.
Karlene
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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"She may be here when we get back. . .
Good chapter, full of action. I look forward to when everyone learns Nick and the baby aren't human.
Karlene
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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thank you so so much
Comment from ulster3
Hello wierdgrace.
This is very suspensful and very excellent in your descriptives. I do hope all is well with you following your visit to San Francisco.
Hugs. Rebecca
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Hello wierdgrace.
This is very suspensful and very excellent in your descriptives. I do hope all is well with you following your visit to San Francisco.
Hugs. Rebecca
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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thank you again, sfo did not go well, so need to write, and get work done now, explain later
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Wierdgrace, I'm glad you are working. This is not the news I wanted, dear friend. You can always talk with me by PM, and I then would send to you the best way to reach me. God bless!
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left you a message
Comment from rmdelta
grace,
another well written chapter, my friend. Your dialogue is getting much stronger and when it works well, it can be your strength, grace. Keep it up.
Reggie
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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grace,
another well written chapter, my friend. Your dialogue is getting much stronger and when it works well, it can be your strength, grace. Keep it up.
Reggie
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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I am truly working on my drafts will be posting them next to show I pay attention
Comment from Readywriter52
Bonnie has told Gramps about her pregnancy. He has taken her to town where Sara will check her and deliver her baby in time. The town sounds friendly and helpful.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Bonnie has told Gramps about her pregnancy. He has taken her to town where Sara will check her and deliver her baby in time. The town sounds friendly and helpful.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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old fashion town, you will see soon
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I an anxious to see how they deliver an octopus and what will Bonnie do when she finds out about Nick.
Hank thought and scratched his head, (period)
"Could just be tourists." (comma)
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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I an anxious to see how they deliver an octopus and what will Bonnie do when she finds out about Nick.
Hank thought and scratched his head, (period)
"Could just be tourists." (comma)
Comment Written 13-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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thank you so much
Comment from dportwood
wierdgrace,
I have read this chapter and have given editing suggestions below:
There were no doctor in the town
There was no doctor in the town
Gramps was up before her, had his one shirt, and suit on and all clean, his hair plastered down.
Gramps was up before her, was all cleaned up, had his one shirt and suit on, and had his hair plastered down.
There people were not ones to gossip, they just took news with a solid main thought, what was to be happened. No gossip.
Their people did not gossip, they just listened to the news, and determined what would happen.
Her old car was gone, the door open and a big pot of tea was on a warming burner
Her old car was gone, the door was open, and a big pot of tea sat on a warm burner
Duane
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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wierdgrace,
I have read this chapter and have given editing suggestions below:
There were no doctor in the town
There was no doctor in the town
Gramps was up before her, had his one shirt, and suit on and all clean, his hair plastered down.
Gramps was up before her, was all cleaned up, had his one shirt and suit on, and had his hair plastered down.
There people were not ones to gossip, they just took news with a solid main thought, what was to be happened. No gossip.
Their people did not gossip, they just listened to the news, and determined what would happen.
Her old car was gone, the door open and a big pot of tea was on a warming burner
Her old car was gone, the door was open, and a big pot of tea sat on a warm burner
Duane
Comment Written 13-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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thank you so much for your help
Comment from adewpearl
There were no doctor in the town - There was no doctor or There were no doctors...
stop at Sara's. I want her to check her out. I added the period after Sara's.
"Could just be tourists." Hank said. Replace the period after tourists with a comma.
You describe your characters and this small town in good detail - it is easy to imagine just how simple life is here.
Good dialogue, too. Brooke
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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There were no doctor in the town - There was no doctor or There were no doctors...
stop at Sara's. I want her to check her out. I added the period after Sara's.
"Could just be tourists." Hank said. Replace the period after tourists with a comma.
You describe your characters and this small town in good detail - it is easy to imagine just how simple life is here.
Good dialogue, too. Brooke
Comment Written 13-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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rats, I do need to fix this
Comment from RazberryBullet
Needs technical work throughout.
some suggestions: There /were>was/ no doctor in the town... Bonnie was (/omit>so/ surprised with all this...Gramps was up before her, had (on) his /omit>one/ shirt/omit>,/ and suit /omit>on/ and /all>was/ clean... /There>The/ people were not ones to gossip, they just took news with ???a solid main thought, what was to be happened???.../omit>Gramps/ /on>On the way into town (Gramps)said, "My granddaughter is with child so stop at Sara's(.) I want her to check her out."
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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Needs technical work throughout.
some suggestions: There /were>was/ no doctor in the town... Bonnie was (/omit>so/ surprised with all this...Gramps was up before her, had (on) his /omit>one/ shirt/omit>,/ and suit /omit>on/ and /all>was/ clean... /There>The/ people were not ones to gossip, they just took news with ???a solid main thought, what was to be happened???.../omit>Gramps/ /on>On the way into town (Gramps)said, "My granddaughter is with child so stop at Sara's(.) I want her to check her out."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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you are right, first drafts do, when I am going to publish I do not like to post second drafts yet, you will get it soon, thank you for your help
