Reviews from

The Starting Point

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "New Babies are Happy"
A lonely Call Girl

12 total reviews 
Comment from Nicki_Mist
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You hold the interest for me and i do want to catch up on these chapters for they seem very interesting and i do want to understand everything. Keep on writing like you do.
Nicole

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
    so glad thank you so much
Comment from rmdelta
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grace,

another well written chapter, my friend. Great descriptives provide us with strong imagery and the narration is good. Well done.

Reggie

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
    thank you so so much
Comment from Readywriter52
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Danny has a happy life, but he feels lonely because his parents aren't around. When he sees cloud formations that look like him, he gets excited. Maybe he will find friends.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
    teens like that, hope you like the rest
Comment from Ponder
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Hi Weird Grace,

I am enjoying your story, it is interesting and intriguing. I'm not sure if you want your reviewers to point out errors and make suggestions, you don't say in your notes - please let me know and I will be happy to do just that.

Jules

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2010
    please do point them out thank you
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
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Hi Grace,
This story sounds so intriguing... it made me want to read more. I was interested in your author notes and how you explained that you post first because you want to write more while your muse is prompting you. I noticed there were a few little places your writing could be improved:
>3rd paragraph - take out one 'all'.
>4th paragraph - take out 'to'
>last paragraph suggestion: 'He ran up to the house speaking, as all children do, in an excited manner.'
Nice freeflowing story. Keep up the great work.
Hugs, W ^-^

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2010
    thank you so much with your help. I will follow up on this
Comment from ulster3
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Hi wierdgrace.
So there is an unbreakable link between these children! Very interesting indeed. Thanks for this intriguing chapter.
Fondly, Rebecca

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2010
    thank you so much
reply by ulster3 on 13-Jun-2010
    Keep going my friend. :)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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I am anxious to see what is happening. I was a little surprised they contracted the measles since my oldest son of 32 was vaccinated against the measles when he was an infant.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2010
    today I will post as much as possible, off to sfo for tests with a specialist. day or two, not sure
Comment from Tellis
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Cool! Maybe the boys can communicate telepathically from across the world. I enjoyed reading this excellent chapter.

Tellis

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
    so different huh
Comment from Deejharrington
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Another very interesting chapter. So there is something different about the "boys". This is the reader first clue that all is not perfect in paradise. I like the deatil so each the boys. All the details keeps them alive in the readers mind.
deb

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
    yes there is, watch and see
reply by Deejharrington on 12-Jun-2010
    I'll be reading
    deb
Comment from Ann Smith
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The details and images are clear. I can see and hear the story as it develops. Even though the story is short it has a lot to say and there is foreshadowing of what is to come. ann

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
    thank you so much