Reviews from

Bottom of the Loch

Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "She figures she is now pregnant"
Parents die, so she moves in with unknown family

9 total reviews 
Comment from Tellis
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So the baby needs raw shellfish. LoL I enjoyed reading this wonderful story and I wonder what the octopus will do now.

Tellis

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2010

reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
    that is kind of scary...but we will see
Comment from krprice
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Too much telling and not enough showing. Show us what is happening. Let us feel what she feels. She must be beside herself knowing she's PG.

Time went on. . .Bonnie dreamed. . .

Karlene

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2010

reply by the author on 11-Jun-2010
    I am working on it
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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So she is going to give birth to an octopus.

Bonnie was wet as she had walked into the water up to her waist with Nick. (wqs wet because she...)

Time went on; bonnie dreamed of Nick, (Bonnie)

The last sentence is thought = italics

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2010

reply by the author on 11-Jun-2010
    I hope not, but we will see, I will work on spags,
Comment from Readywriter52
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Bonnie is pregnant and Nick is nowhere around. Bonnie has cravings for fish, which someone has caught for her. She is alone and doesn't know what to tell gramps.

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2010

reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
    so true
Comment from deepwater
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one more good Chapter from your book wierdgrace i do like the line I have got to tell Gramps," she thought, "How will I ever tell him, what will he say?"

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2010

reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
    so true, thank you
Comment from Deejharrington
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capitalize Bonnie. The reader is not sure if Nick is gone like dead or just away. Was that on purpose? These are two that got one of the babies, right? I wasn't quite sure.
deb

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2010

reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
    thank you so much I will
reply by Deejharrington on 10-Jun-2010
    you're welcome
    deb
Comment from Jnetgame
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I just thought I would check in on your writing since you are such a loyal fan of mine. This is a great chapter, Grace. It flows well. Keep up the excellent work.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2010

reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
    thank you, and hope you have time to read from the beginning
Comment from Charlene0513
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To weirdgrace,
A con't story as Bonnie has her doubts of how to break the news of her pregnancy. The baby -to-be could not be more nourished than to receive Omega 3 vitamins, thayt's for sure.
Good Job! Nice flow and I enjopyed it immensely.
Charlene


1)Time went on;[Bonnie].....

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2010

reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
    this is true, thank you
Comment from Ann Smith
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You can sense the excitement as the baby grows. Personally I'm glad I didn't crave fish when I was pregnant. Just potato chips, pickles, and pepsi. I call it the three p's. I hope gramps will be understanding. ann

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2010

reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
    true, thank you