The Ice Princess
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "(5) Waiting! (6) The Verdict"Love, Hate, Conflicts and Fear
27 total reviews
Comment from Nobie
I enjoy reading this book. It is very interesting and a easy read. The only thing that I found unrealistic in this chapter is when the judge ask if the jury reached a verdict he said "better known as...", just from my experience I have never heard that happen in a courtroom. But that's just me being over picky.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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I enjoy reading this book. It is very interesting and a easy read. The only thing that I found unrealistic in this chapter is when the judge ask if the jury reached a verdict he said "better known as...", just from my experience I have never heard that happen in a courtroom. But that's just me being over picky.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Nobie
If a person has gone by more than one name, they do say both names for legal reasons. Thanks for reading and I am glad that you are enjoying it. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Rain Chapman
Yes! Reilly got him free and started a clean-up of the police force. I like that. Places the white hat firmly on her head and lets the reader know she won't be swayed in her pursuit of justice.
7:55 A.M., 9:30 pm,- two different styles in the same paragraph, the second seemed less jarring but I am not sure which is the correct way.
Also, I am not sure if nick-names like 'gorgeous' are supposed to be capitalized. I don't think they are but check with someone you trust for this type of thing.
Still going great,
Lorraine :)
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2009
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Yes! Reilly got him free and started a clean-up of the police force. I like that. Places the white hat firmly on her head and lets the reader know she won't be swayed in her pursuit of justice.
7:55 A.M., 9:30 pm,- two different styles in the same paragraph, the second seemed less jarring but I am not sure which is the correct way.
Also, I am not sure if nick-names like 'gorgeous' are supposed to be capitalized. I don't think they are but check with someone you trust for this type of thing.
Still going great,
Lorraine :)
Comment Written 12-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2009
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Lorraine
Great feed back. Thanks so much for telling me what you think about the characters. Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Is this where Trent causes trouble. If not, put these two together and you have a perfect romance, but I have a feelings there's a lot more.
witness"walked (spacing issue)
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Is this where Trent causes trouble. If not, put these two together and you have a perfect romance, but I have a feelings there's a lot more.
witness"walked (spacing issue)
Comment Written 11-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Barbara
I'm not telling you ...can't spoil the story...Thanks for the review...Carol
Comment from anabellapongasi
The story is getting more interesting. It seems Reilly is still in love with Max and having a hard time resisting him. I didn't know this was a romance story when I first started reading the first chapter. But I have a feeling there's more to this than the romance. Max's case is still a mystery and I wonder about the roles of Trent and Sherrie in the story. Very good writing. I'm still enjoying it.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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The story is getting more interesting. It seems Reilly is still in love with Max and having a hard time resisting him. I didn't know this was a romance story when I first started reading the first chapter. But I have a feeling there's more to this than the romance. Max's case is still a mystery and I wonder about the roles of Trent and Sherrie in the story. Very good writing. I'm still enjoying it.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Anabella
Great...that's what I wanted to hear. You haven't read any of my other stories so you aren't familiar with me..that makes your reviews very valuable. How I come across and if my characters seem realistic. Thank you so much. Carol
Comment from adewpearl
Lots of tension as we await the verdict,and lots of sexual tension in the scene leading up to the phone call that the jury is in - one is led to wonder what all is going on in this corrupt police department just as one waits to see how the relationship will develop between Reilly and her former lover. Brooke
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Lots of tension as we await the verdict,and lots of sexual tension in the scene leading up to the phone call that the jury is in - one is led to wonder what all is going on in this corrupt police department just as one waits to see how the relationship will develop between Reilly and her former lover. Brooke
Comment Written 11-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Brooke
I think the corrupt police department will make a good sequel...Max and Reilly against the bad guys. Smiles, Carol
Comment from AnnaLinda
Begin Again,
You have managed to write another very fast paced, moving and suspenseful chapter. It even had a very happy ending!
Is especially liked the following lines:
"Armed with gloves, air freshener, determination, and Max,"
"His scent, his tongue's probing, his warmth begged her to surrender to him, melt into his arms, and rediscover their lost love."
"Her traitorous body refused to listen to her brain's commands."
You even has the passion too! Very well done! I so enjoyed reading it!
SweetLinda
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Begin Again,
You have managed to write another very fast paced, moving and suspenseful chapter. It even had a very happy ending!
Is especially liked the following lines:
"Armed with gloves, air freshener, determination, and Max,"
"His scent, his tongue's probing, his warmth begged her to surrender to him, melt into his arms, and rediscover their lost love."
"Her traitorous body refused to listen to her brain's commands."
You even has the passion too! Very well done! I so enjoyed reading it!
SweetLinda
Comment Written 11-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Linda
You have ended my day with a smile as well. I have posted 6-7-8 tonight and that will leave the ending on Monday.
I hope you continue to like the story. Carol
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Yes, it is getting late here on the west coast, so I may leave the rest of your listed chapters for tomorrow. It will give me some great reading for a Sunday afternoon.
SweetLinda
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Good night then and sleep well
Comment from second thought
Don't really remember the events of the story clearly but overall there is enough to decide that the present point has its future before us and present joy clearly presented. A little love at the right moment cleverly touching on body parts. lol.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Don't really remember the events of the story clearly but overall there is enough to decide that the present point has its future before us and present joy clearly presented. A little love at the right moment cleverly touching on body parts. lol.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2009
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Second thought
Thanks for the kind review. i hope you continue enjoying the story. Carol
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Joy yes. On the other hand other factors may force me in another direction.
Comment from Suzie B
Another fast-paced read Carol...with enough electricity in it to power a small city...well done.
The verdict a totally necessary one, for the continuation, whew! Great read all-in-all, couple of typos for You to fix,
in the past few monthe she'd {Softened} not soften.
every kiss {Claimed} not claiamed.
On to the next chapter.
hugs
suzie
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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Another fast-paced read Carol...with enough electricity in it to power a small city...well done.
The verdict a totally necessary one, for the continuation, whew! Great read all-in-all, couple of typos for You to fix,
in the past few monthe she'd {Softened} not soften.
every kiss {Claimed} not claiamed.
On to the next chapter.
hugs
suzie
Comment Written 10-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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Suzie
Thank you very much for reading and commenting and for caching my mistake. Appreciate it very much. Smiles, CArol
Comment from Belinda
I feel like watching a court film... But the more dramatic is the scene before the court, where the ice princess is in 'touble' facing the charms of Max. Dramatic chapter, Carol.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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I feel like watching a court film... But the more dramatic is the scene before the court, where the ice princess is in 'touble' facing the charms of Max. Dramatic chapter, Carol.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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Bellinda
I am so happy that you thought the court scene to be authentic. I was concerned whether I could do it properly or not. And as for Max...we must wait and see...
Carol
Comment from --Turtle.
Hey Carol,
This was a good chapter to read.... I do have to admit, as we didn't have much time, the intrigue around the case was underdeveloped... but you don't have much time. I liked the emotion around the case though, and the scene of the courtroom was good.
pov cleanup
"How about a kiss for good luck?" He liked to make her squirm. (he said, making her squirm) Maybe someday, she'd realize they were still in love. (all these emotions around Max... She wasn't still in love with him... . Was she? )If he had his way, he was going to win her back and soon. (Rielly bet, if max had his way, she would be back in his bed... But maybe it was more than that?)
i.e... all suggestions... I'm just exampling ways to get out of Max's head, His words and actions hint his feelings)
Seizing her in his arms, like a vise, pinning her to his chest, he whispered against her hair[.](,) "You couldn't have forgotten how good it was." Bending his head,
Every kiss [was claiming](claimed) another tiny piece of her heart.
On the other side, buzzing like bees, [were] several cops that Dirty Harry's testimony indicated were corrupt (frowned). The verdict could mean as much to them as it would to Max.
Pandemonium broke lose(loose) in the courtroom.
Reilly's (felt her) poker face burst into a smile. Max hugged her tight against him, whispering, "Thank you, thank you" in her ear.
as always, hope this helps --Turtle.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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Hey Carol,
This was a good chapter to read.... I do have to admit, as we didn't have much time, the intrigue around the case was underdeveloped... but you don't have much time. I liked the emotion around the case though, and the scene of the courtroom was good.
pov cleanup
"How about a kiss for good luck?" He liked to make her squirm. (he said, making her squirm) Maybe someday, she'd realize they were still in love. (all these emotions around Max... She wasn't still in love with him... . Was she? )If he had his way, he was going to win her back and soon. (Rielly bet, if max had his way, she would be back in his bed... But maybe it was more than that?)
i.e... all suggestions... I'm just exampling ways to get out of Max's head, His words and actions hint his feelings)
Seizing her in his arms, like a vise, pinning her to his chest, he whispered against her hair[.](,) "You couldn't have forgotten how good it was." Bending his head,
Every kiss [was claiming](claimed) another tiny piece of her heart.
On the other side, buzzing like bees, [were] several cops that Dirty Harry's testimony indicated were corrupt (frowned). The verdict could mean as much to them as it would to Max.
Pandemonium broke lose(loose) in the courtroom.
Reilly's (felt her) poker face burst into a smile. Max hugged her tight against him, whispering, "Thank you, thank you" in her ear.
as always, hope this helps --Turtle.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2009
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Turtle,
Why is it when you point things out to be, I can go oh yeah..why didn't I see that... Does this make sense...
"How about a kiss for good luck?" He smiled, making her face flush. It was obvious he hoped to make her his conquest, but she wasn't ready for that yet. In the past few months, she'd soften toward him, but she wasn't ready to give her heart away again.
I changed the other suggestions and sincerely appreciate the help.
Smiles, Carol
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Sounds good to me... fits nicely
