River Ruse
flash fiction38 total reviews
Comment from findingmyroom
Well, I don't know who's the worse villain in this story. You wrote it beautifully, from keeping each character's voice consistent to the surprise ending. Nice job.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2009
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Well, I don't know who's the worse villain in this story. You wrote it beautifully, from keeping each character's voice consistent to the surprise ending. Nice job.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2009
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Thank you for this kind review for my story, findingmyroom! I tried to make at least one of the characters nice, but they wouldn't let me. LOL Thank you!
Indy :>)
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
They say turn about is fair play. This is a well written short story. Your descriptions are great. It was my pleasure to read. Good luck in the contest, my friend.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2009
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They say turn about is fair play. This is a well written short story. Your descriptions are great. It was my pleasure to read. Good luck in the contest, my friend.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2009
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Thank you, El Gato, for your kind and encouraging review for my flash fiction story. I appreciate your thoughtful comments.
Smiles,
Indy :>)
Comment from Southern Writer
Ha, this was great.....surprise ending. Guess this is good flash fiction (I am just learning some of these terms), it was short and sweet.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2009
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Ha, this was great.....surprise ending. Guess this is good flash fiction (I am just learning some of these terms), it was short and sweet.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2009
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Thank you, Southern Writer! I'm delighted you enjoyed this flash fiction story. I usually don't write this genre, so it was quite a challenge for me. I appreciate your kind comments.
Indy :>)
Comment from drivenbackward
Good story, Indy. I knew you'd have some form of twist on the general one, but I still enjoyed it very much. Your stories always move at such a rapid pace. Check out the spacing in the first half of the story. Otherwise, looks clean.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2009
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Good story, Indy. I knew you'd have some form of twist on the general one, but I still enjoyed it very much. Your stories always move at such a rapid pace. Check out the spacing in the first half of the story. Otherwise, looks clean.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2009
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Hey, thanks, DB, for reading through this one and for your comments. I'm kinda new with this crime writing so I figured I'd make some goofs. So glad you enjoyed it.
Indy :>)
Comment from lola29
Wow! That was a fantastic read. Excellent writing ploy you used to have us believe that she drank the wine. I could just see her drowing in the river. Excellent twist at the end. Loved it1
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Wow! That was a fantastic read. Excellent writing ploy you used to have us believe that she drank the wine. I could just see her drowing in the river. Excellent twist at the end. Loved it1
Comment Written 12-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Lola, thank you for taking the time to read my flash fiction story and for your great comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and liked the ending. I appreciate your kind review!
Indy :>)
Comment from PtcOoL
*Gasp* (babbling incomprehensible words.) *gasps* (final finds brain) OMG. WOW. Where do i start. That was amazing. Brilliant turn of events. Bizarre twists. So unexpected yet brilliant. Nicely written. Great plot line. Short and sweet yet straight to the punch. Loved every bit of it and is worth it's six stars.
Great job.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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*Gasp* (babbling incomprehensible words.) *gasps* (final finds brain) OMG. WOW. Where do i start. That was amazing. Brilliant turn of events. Bizarre twists. So unexpected yet brilliant. Nicely written. Great plot line. Short and sweet yet straight to the punch. Loved every bit of it and is worth it's six stars.
Great job.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Wow, do I ever love this review and your wonderful comments, PtcOol!! Thank you for taking the time to read my story and I really appreciate all the compliments you've given it. Thank you!
Indy :>)
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No problem. It was an amazing read. You are very welcome.
Comment from Domino
I dunno why Charlie bothers with this misery, unless he's lieing about the 'life-vests' and intends throwing her over a waterfall, Haha! Maybe he does, as I'm typing as I'm reading.
Hey, I was sort of right - halfway through. Mind you, he's got 3 names for this cheetah already. ;-)
Hey, what a clever twist, and you've even included the boyfriend. Mind you, I'd have preferred a happy ending with her getting her just deserts at the hands of my hero. LOL
You always excell at these short stories - just the right length for my concentration span.
Best wishes, Ray xx
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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I dunno why Charlie bothers with this misery, unless he's lieing about the 'life-vests' and intends throwing her over a waterfall, Haha! Maybe he does, as I'm typing as I'm reading.
Hey, I was sort of right - halfway through. Mind you, he's got 3 names for this cheetah already. ;-)
Hey, what a clever twist, and you've even included the boyfriend. Mind you, I'd have preferred a happy ending with her getting her just deserts at the hands of my hero. LOL
You always excell at these short stories - just the right length for my concentration span.
Best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 12-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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I write all my stories short just so you might be able to withstand the agony of reading prose, RayMan! LOL I always appreciate your suffering through my stories to read and comment...even though you skip every other sentence to speed it along. lmaoooo
Thanks!
Kar :>)
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Thanks for the fun, Kar, though I swear I didn't skip a word - I never do unless I admit it for a laugh. Also, I'm a Saint. Haha!
Ray xoxo
Comment from Readywriter52
Good old Marty, I guess he should have paid more attention to his wife. Maybe he would have seen that she didn't drink the wine and he would still be alive. Now Joe and Audie can live happily ever after until the police figure out that Marty was killed.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Good old Marty, I guess he should have paid more attention to his wife. Maybe he would have seen that she didn't drink the wine and he would still be alive. Now Joe and Audie can live happily ever after until the police figure out that Marty was killed.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Thank you, Readywriter, fr your kind review and for taking the time to read through my flash fiction. I appreciate your comments.
Indy :>)
Comment from Max Edon
Dear Indiana Irish:
I enjoyed reading this story a lot. I liked the ending. The picture was lovely. Is it a picture of the Kankakee? The Kankakee starts in my hometown of South Bend.
Bev
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Dear Indiana Irish:
I enjoyed reading this story a lot. I liked the ending. The picture was lovely. Is it a picture of the Kankakee? The Kankakee starts in my hometown of South Bend.
Bev
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review my flash fiction, Max. Yeah, the Kankakee starts in SB and forms the southern boundry of my county--Porter--before heading into Illinois. No, the pic isn't of the Kankakee...I couldn't find one for public use. I went to nursing school in SB and I loved that city. I still make an occasional trip there. I appreciate your comments and glad you enjoyed it.
Indy :>)
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You are welcome!
Comment from tati
From your flash fiction, I can see clearly how to start strong a story, how to write tight. You chose your words carefully, you show, not tell ... Wow. I can feel the suspense even from the dialogue. Wish you well in the contest, Indy. Your friend, tati. (September 09, 2009)
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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From your flash fiction, I can see clearly how to start strong a story, how to write tight. You chose your words carefully, you show, not tell ... Wow. I can feel the suspense even from the dialogue. Wish you well in the contest, Indy. Your friend, tati. (September 09, 2009)
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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It's always a delight to have you read and comment on my writings, tati. I know how busy you are with your WH translation, so I really appreciate your lovely review. Thank you and I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Smiles to you, my friend,
Indy :>)
