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CSP: A Collection of Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 61 "Boxing Kangaroo"
A collection of poetry

28 total reviews 
Comment from Hitcher
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This is that little bit of Aussie coming out of you Sue, I've never seen them boxing but saw enough of them in my treks across the Nullabar[not sure about the spelling of that] plains[three days to hitch across] I think they are cool animals and unique in there design. God was in a good mood when he created them that's for sure! Good Luck!

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2009
    Ha! For sure....God was in a good mood. Nice one. I do love them critters!! Thanks for your review, Hitch :-)) Sue
Comment from bard owl
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I have a friend who is a traveling band instructor in Australia and she said roos are so plentiful that cars in her area sport "roo bars" to help lessen the jolt when a kangaroo, a big red one, collides with cars. She said it is illegal to kill a kangaroo and so when one gets hit and dies, the drives has to tag it so the authorities can say cause of death. I guess they still do that.
Excellent imagery in this one, Sue. I think their boxing is amazing, as is fact that they can cover such distances so easily with those large feet. The only marsupial the US has is the opossum. We have lots of those in Missouri.
Your poem was joy to read. Blessings, Linda

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2009

Comment from Nanette Mary
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Hullo Sixteezkid ....

This certainly is an interesting and unusual theme -
the Big Red Boxing Kangaroos. Your well-chosen and descriptive words and phrases present your readers with colourful and vivid imagery.
There is nothing that I would suggest changing and I wish you well in the Contest.
With love from ... Nanette Mary.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2009

Comment from wierdgrace
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what a well structure rhyme and poem for this contest, I loved the cute picture, and you used a great animal. your author notes are always as great as your work thank you for sharing, no errors as alway.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2009

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
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This is very well written and presented with the detailed notes provided a very good contest entry well done I enjoyed regards Fuller

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2009

Comment from rhymelord
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A bonzer yarn about an Aussie icon. Not only is the woman a very fine poet and, if I recall, something of an expert on race cars, she now produces a delightful yarn in lovely rhyme and meter on a zoological topic. Is there no end to her talent. Goodonya, Sue.
Regards, Reg

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2009
    Reg, I didn't know you were from S.A.!! (at least I don't remember...hell there are some many of you Aussies on here! Haow yer gowin? LOL!! I lived in Brisbane for about 8 years. That's where I learned so much about car racing. Loved Touring Cars! And who can forget when Adelaide was THE #1 host to F-1?? Loved going there, too. Went to Bathurst I don't know how many times. And all the other circuits, too. Coming down to Oz in October. Can't be away from it too long. Gotta get back up to the reef. Been reading a lot about those fires. My children's relatives live all around Melbourne. It's just awful. Well, I just wrote about climbing Mt. Everest, so you might like that one also. (shameless solicitation!!!) Ha! Thanks for your awesome compliments!! And your great review. :-)) Sue
Comment from mslyla216
Good
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I avidly read your posts, sixteezkid, and I do so because I, by and large, like your writing. This poem just didn't quite do it. It seemed jerky and didn't flow easily and it seemed to me that you were trying too hard for your rhyme. My only suggestion would be for you to revisit it and make some revisions. For instance, I don't think you need a comma after Boomer. But thanks so much for your notes of explanation. mslyla

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
    mslyla, I had a couple of people say the same thing. Since then, I have re-written a bit. If you don't mind having another look, let me know what you think. Thank you very much for your honest review. Much appreciated, Sue
reply by mslyla216 on 07-Feb-2009
    I don't think I have the right to re-write your poem, but here would be my suggestion: Use 'you' and 'your' more often so that it reads more smoothly. In the line about his size, I would say something like this: "At six feet, Big Red, you are the largest Kangaroo of all." And in the last lines about boxing, I might say: "You fight one after another,boxing Kangaroo." You get my meaning; I am not looking at your poem as I write this, so I don't have the lines in front of me to look at the wording of your rhyme. I still think you can make it clearer than your revision, but I am pleased you took out the comma I'd mentioned. mslyla
Comment from Nedrajean
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I hate to give a four, but you seemed to lose some rhyme and it affects the flow. In stanza one, I think I'd drop "your friends" - it reads well without that. The first line of the final stanza is not as smooth as it could be? I know you want to get "Boomer" in but try something like "Ah, Boomer, such are you" - just suggestions. I usually find I am unable to offer criticism of your work but since this is a contest entry, you might want to rework it some? Let me know if you do and I'd love to reread it. Hey, I like the moniker part! It reads much smoother to me now. Thanks for making those minute changes.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
    I really appreciate your comments. I will re-visit the work and take all your suggestions on board. And get back to you. Really appreciate your input. With regards, Sue
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
    I've fixed it as best as I can. It is written in iambic tetramter with an abcb rhyme scheme. And to my ear, it sounds as smooth as my other iambics. Maybe it was just the arrangement of words. Wouldn't mind if you had another read. Again, thank you much for your time. With regards, Sue
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
    Thank you very much for your honest review. I am much happier with the rhythm myself. Less choppy. Hoping it deserves your five! Again, much appreciated, Sue
Comment from Nomar Chagrin
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Ahhh, there's nothing better than a kangeroo poem. I don't know if it's true, but I've heard of kangeroos boxing people. I'd be scared to death of their legs. Great all-around poem.
~Rhein

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
    Yes, some have made it as a bit of sport for money. Cut and paste this link for a lot of fun! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pufSYjhcPYo - Thank you so much for your great review. With regards, Sue
Comment from rmdelta
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Dang, understood every thing in this one. Thanks for having mercy on me. I really appreciate it so much, my friend. Very strong and quite descriptive this is a good poem, Sue. Good luck in the contest

Reggie

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2009


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
    Would be a pretty cool law-enforcement friend, like in K-9. Put a leash on him with boxing gloves and walk the beat. HA!

    Here's a link to see how it could work. LOL!!!! Cut and paste and watch!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pufSYjhcPYo