CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 119 "A Winter's Reprieve"A collection of poetry
17 total reviews
Comment from Hitcher
Excellent! A very strong choice of words to accompany your choice of artwork, which worked perfectly together. I loved the last line, A nice little dusting of darkness, very nice.
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Excellent! A very strong choice of words to accompany your choice of artwork, which worked perfectly together. I loved the last line, A nice little dusting of darkness, very nice.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2008
Comment from Roisin
This is a wonderful Haiku, with vivid imagery and beautiful words. The picture you posted, although very apt, wasn't necessary as I could picture it in my mind's eye.
Warm regards.
Roisin
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2008
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This is a wonderful Haiku, with vivid imagery and beautiful words. The picture you posted, although very apt, wasn't necessary as I could picture it in my mind's eye.
Warm regards.
Roisin
Comment Written 30-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2008
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What a lovely compliment! And thank you for your very generous review. Happy New Year!! Sue
Comment from RapturedHeart
This is excellent. Caught my attention right away because we had HUGE icicles hanging from the eavestroughs and I was always concerned about kids playing under them. But we had a couple of days of rain and now they're gone! Great mental image with the 'daggers' and a superb photo to go along. Take care,
heather
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2008
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This is excellent. Caught my attention right away because we had HUGE icicles hanging from the eavestroughs and I was always concerned about kids playing under them. But we had a couple of days of rain and now they're gone! Great mental image with the 'daggers' and a superb photo to go along. Take care,
heather
Comment Written 30-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2008
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Heather, thanks for your most kind review and lovely words. Yeah, those things are sharp!!! Last year I had to get a broom and knock 'em down! HA!! Happy New Year! Sue
Comment from fastdigits
A nicely constructed Haiku
with sort of a play on words
with the eaves maybe construed
as the evening and with the
coming warmth of the day the
icicles melt and fall as daggers
from the roofs.
Well done
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A nicely constructed Haiku
with sort of a play on words
with the eaves maybe construed
as the evening and with the
coming warmth of the day the
icicles melt and fall as daggers
from the roofs.
Well done
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
Comment from mmichelle97219
Those things are known to kill people!
---Christmas Story
Sorry that quote just came to mind as I read your poem. I thought it was very good.
Michelle
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2008
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Those things are known to kill people!
---Christmas Story
Sorry that quote just came to mind as I read your poem. I thought it was very good.
Michelle
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2008
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Ha!! Good quote! Thanks for your great review and have a HAPPY NEW YEAR! Sue
Comment from Domino
Wow. Sue, this is so clever. Vivid imagery to desribe the falling of the ocicles, and then the inference that the future may be not so bright as the 'daggers' hit their mark! Maybe I'l reading into it too much, but very thought-provoking. Best wishes, Ray xx
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2008
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Wow. Sue, this is so clever. Vivid imagery to desribe the falling of the ocicles, and then the inference that the future may be not so bright as the 'daggers' hit their mark! Maybe I'l reading into it too much, but very thought-provoking. Best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2008
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Thanks Ray! Well, I hate to bust your balloon again, but "no", no metaphor here. Ha! Just another straight-up poem about them damn icicles! HA! HAPPY NEW YEAR, Ray!!!! :-)) Sue
Comment from Curt Mongold
Sue,
You had a great chance here to include some mythology! The last line would have been perfect for "swords of Damocles."
I think that would have been a much better ending, but you know me!
Great piece all the same cuz!
Curt
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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Sue,
You had a great chance here to include some mythology! The last line would have been perfect for "swords of Damocles."
I think that would have been a much better ending, but you know me!
Great piece all the same cuz!
Curt
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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I know absolutely NOTHING about mythology. Hated studying it in school - to my detriment!! But, cool idea. Dang! Thanks for the great review, cuz! Sue
Comment from Susan E. Pennycuff
as a modern day Haiku this is suitable and is error free... I would love to see you do a traditional Haiku with your vivid imagination, am sure you could blow me away.
can't mark you off for anything ( not that I want too... lol ) so I leave you with a five and Happy Holiday wishes, Suzi
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as a modern day Haiku this is suitable and is error free... I would love to see you do a traditional Haiku with your vivid imagination, am sure you could blow me away.
can't mark you off for anything ( not that I want too... lol ) so I leave you with a five and Happy Holiday wishes, Suzi
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
Comment from Brian S. Pratt
now melting from warmer day
--I'd change 'from' to 'with' ???
good poem and love the pic.
brian S. Pratt
fantasy author.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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now melting from warmer day
--I'd change 'from' to 'with' ???
good poem and love the pic.
brian S. Pratt
fantasy author.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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Brian, what an EXCELLENT idea! First, because it is more grammatically correct and second, because of the alliteration. Thank you so much! And thank you for your very generous review. Going to change that now. So much appreciated. :-)) Sue
Comment from grassroots08
"icicles on eaves" - I would have said "above" and not told anyone from whence the ice did fall. Keep them guessing, allowing it to fit a broader picture. That way you eliminate the word "an" - and that's a good thing in Haiku. This was a neat piece to be sure. Your lay out is fine and there is no spag here, only my suggestion for what it is worth. Don
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"icicles on eaves" - I would have said "above" and not told anyone from whence the ice did fall. Keep them guessing, allowing it to fit a broader picture. That way you eliminate the word "an" - and that's a good thing in Haiku. This was a neat piece to be sure. Your lay out is fine and there is no spag here, only my suggestion for what it is worth. Don
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008