Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Wow! A supremely powerful and intense poem!Are you a caretaker of someone very ill?

The closing verse is stunning:
Holding fast to hopeless hopes,
These muddled musings
deny moments of clarity-
I watch self-sacrifice give way
--as self doubt creeps in on the sly.


Very deep and reflective, honest and raw.

No spags or nits. Excellent writing and strongly emotional.
Some highly original phrases..pulseless prison, proxy domicile.
Also, apt artwork to complement the poem.

Bravo.

Happy Holy Days!
rama devi

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2008

Comment from sara-beth

Excellent

Amazing! I love this, it is powerful and honest. Your words are so well chosen, and every stanza is a statement! I enjoyed every word, and I could feel the weight of your emotion!

 Comment Written 24-Dec-2008

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Catharsis, a new beginning - I do hope the positive nature of the title means that coming to this self-realization and writing of it in this gorgeous poem helps start you on your way to new beginnings. Mother of martyrdom, pulseless prison - excellent metaphors. My caring limbs atrophy- the emotion is undeniable. I do hope you find more time to care for yourself as well, Brooke

 Comment Written 24-Dec-2008

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reply by the author on 24-Dec-2008

Brooke,

As usual, you don't miss a thing. One would think that the title does not really match the body, but you picked it. Actually, I did not sit down to write this for anyone's eyes but my own. I didn't even know I was going to write it. I do know that the catharsis for my being able to make a few heavy decisions lie in writing about it. This one happens to be just the opening of that door: "...a beginning". Whether it's a "poem" or not, I'm thankful for being able to put words down to get me where I'm going!

I have a great admiration for you, Brooke. Your gift of comprehensive reading, as well as your writing, is so appreciated. And your healthy balance of giving and receiving is transparent!

Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Sue

Comment from giftid3

Excellent

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, view and concept with the rest of us. I enjoyed the imagery that came forth in this as it reminded me of a life once lived and the experiences had that nearly caused a total downfall to me. Thankfully, a way out was given and taken, and now those times are now stepping stones of learning.
This is well expressed of the challenges one faces when their empathetic and merciful heart gets in the way of common sense and true love, and tries to take the weight that is not theirs to take. The offer does not reciprocate, and no recognition or acknowledgement is given for the service, for after all, it was never asked for in the first place. Finally all life is exhausted with no sight of a reprieve coming to bringing with it a balanced calm that brings one back to their senses and back to control of their own life. Deeper one sinks into the mire, the muck and the clay.
Thanks for sharing and many blessings to you. Have a blessed christmas

 Comment Written 24-Dec-2008

Comment from davidray

Excellent

This has a certain sadness attached to it. Very powerful stuff. I enjoyed this. A terrific free verse. Thanks for sharing and Merry Christmas!
David

 Comment Written 24-Dec-2008

Comment from Oatmeal

Excellent

SIXTEEZKID,

The poem was very nice. The artwork complimented it. Understandable and thought provoking but especially insightful comments.

There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2008

Comment from TheDon

Excellent

The poem seem to achieve what you set out to do - and the picture goes well with it.

In the line "Weary this high way" did you mean "highway"?

I hope this helps and good luck.

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2008

Comment from Curt Mongold

Excellent

Wow. A powerful piece of freverse in these lines. The emotion is undeniable in the fantastic word use and flow of this work. Very moving.
Sincerely,
Curt

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2008

Comment from Hitcher

Excellent

You know I'm not big on the free verse Sue, this one has its own sadness attached to it, it feels like a soul trapped in servitude that is willing given yet still years for the almost forgotten pleasures of running free. The second stanza was excellent friend, I hope your ok and ready to have some good old fashioned FUN at Christmas[TOMORROW] YES! YES! YES! I'm a big kid too, ha ha. I liked your free verse friend, DEEP but very well done.

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2008

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reply by the author on 24-Dec-2008

Hey Hitch! I'm doing very well. This verse makes it sound like I'm ready to do myself in! LOL!! I have always been aware of some things with the intellect, but now am trying to sort through with my emotions. I named this "Catharsis", because just writing about my feelings is helping me come to terms with a lot. So, it's all very, very good. I added "...a beginning" to the title, because I believe this may be a start of a series. Must come from the depths, so I'll see what happens. Thanks for the great review, friend. And have a GREAT Chrissy, you little boy (waiting for Santa)! ha! Big hugs for the Holidays....Sue

Comment from FredCollingwood

Excellent

I could feel a chill when I read this:

This pulseless prison!
Freezing the mind
in its cold clutches
which seem inescapable
--a proxy for a home.

Excellent writing.

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2008