haiku (the pines reach to sky)
5/7/5 haiku42 total reviews
Comment from Diny
Banner still working on this one- but obnly 10cents now- anyway I saw this earlier but didn't review- You are a master at those Haiku/ senyru styles- Write on-Diny
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2009
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Banner still working on this one- but obnly 10cents now- anyway I saw this earlier but didn't review- You are a master at those Haiku/ senyru styles- Write on-Diny
Comment Written 04-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2009
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Yes, you missed when it paid eighty cents! But thanks for the great compliment. (By the way, I am going to PM you about your script.)
Comment from Day Z Chayn
Seems the pines (as do the people) always want more than they might have, though it seems at least the pines are still able to ponder, grow, and at least give themselves time to stand still and breathe, whereas humanity itself does a slavishly inept job with such circumstances. After all, it was the American poet William Stafford who reminded us time and time again that "the (pine) trees remember to hold hands when it rains.
It's nice to see you're still standing after the doctor's prognosis you received earlier last year, and may you always continue to "see the forest through the trees," both through your continued insights, and the joy you receive through writing, existing (the most important part) and lecturing about haiku.
"Stand tall against the slamming of eternity's gate,
And with the forest pines, hold hands in unison to wait."
Shane
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2009
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Seems the pines (as do the people) always want more than they might have, though it seems at least the pines are still able to ponder, grow, and at least give themselves time to stand still and breathe, whereas humanity itself does a slavishly inept job with such circumstances. After all, it was the American poet William Stafford who reminded us time and time again that "the (pine) trees remember to hold hands when it rains.
It's nice to see you're still standing after the doctor's prognosis you received earlier last year, and may you always continue to "see the forest through the trees," both through your continued insights, and the joy you receive through writing, existing (the most important part) and lecturing about haiku.
"Stand tall against the slamming of eternity's gate,
And with the forest pines, hold hands in unison to wait."
Shane
Comment Written 02-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2009
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What a lovely, profound review. Thank you so much. You understand the deeper meaning behind the pines. I am finding trees very comforting. You might enjoy my haiku (lustrous winter moon), which is about spruces. You have honored me by comparing me to a great American poet. Where can I find that quotation? I had never read it, at least not that I can remember, but it says almost exactly what my haiku says!
Comment from gjensen
Clever haiku and the perfect artwork to complement it. (Saint Peter could do a lot worse than pine trees, don't you think?) Anyway, I really liked your work. Best wishes for 2009!
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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Clever haiku and the perfect artwork to complement it. (Saint Peter could do a lot worse than pine trees, don't you think?) Anyway, I really liked your work. Best wishes for 2009!
Comment Written 01-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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Thank you for such a kind review. The haiku is a commentary on the Tower of Babel story.
Comment from Jnetgame
I like this poem a lot. I especially like the personification of the pines reaching to the sky. Lovely photo you chose to go with it, as well.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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I like this poem a lot. I especially like the personification of the pines reaching to the sky. Lovely photo you chose to go with it, as well.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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Thanks. You understood what I was doing with the pines; the haiku is a commentary on the Tower of Babel story.
Comment from NightWriter
"Haiku (the pines reach to sky)" is a beautifully written poem that to me speaks of opportunities and risks. There are failures and successes, but we must strive to continue.
Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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"Haiku (the pines reach to sky)" is a beautifully written poem that to me speaks of opportunities and risks. There are failures and successes, but we must strive to continue.
Well done.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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Thank you for understanding one of the meanings of the poem. You understood that there was a positive dimension to the poem as well as the negative one that was a commentary on the Tower of Babel story. Few saw that. Thanks again.
Comment from bkrighter
Wow! I can see several questions that this haiku can raise and/or interpretations that it is open to. Most of all, though, I am moved by a transformation from hope to despair. I found it very pwerful.
Steve
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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Wow! I can see several questions that this haiku can raise and/or interpretations that it is open to. Most of all, though, I am moved by a transformation from hope to despair. I found it very pwerful.
Steve
Comment Written 01-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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Yes, that is a good interpretation. Basically, this is a commentary on the Tower of Babel story. Thanks for the exceptional rating of six stars.
Comment from Kentucky Sweet Pea
alvin, this is a great haiku, as always, but i couldn't help thinking within my twisted sense of humor, having learned what i now know in the past year living in bfe kentucky--- that saint pete probably shut the gate because he was afraid the pines would catch heaven afire! ;)
congratulations on your nomination for POM!
happy new year!
penny
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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alvin, this is a great haiku, as always, but i couldn't help thinking within my twisted sense of humor, having learned what i now know in the past year living in bfe kentucky--- that saint pete probably shut the gate because he was afraid the pines would catch heaven afire! ;)
congratulations on your nomination for POM!
happy new year!
penny
Comment Written 01-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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I never thought of that interpretation, but it is a good one. Basically, I thought of this as a commentary on the Tower of Babel story. Thanks for a great review.
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You are welcome! Happy New Year, Alvin!
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Alvin,
Good Haiku - meets all requirement ... form, count and imagery, but if I am truthful, I don't like the image of
of Saint Peter closing the Pearly Gates. Perhaps,
I'm a dreamer.
This poem reads and flows well and I have no suggestion
for improvement. Keep writing.
Happy New Year, LateBloomer
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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Hello Alvin,
Good Haiku - meets all requirement ... form, count and imagery, but if I am truthful, I don't like the image of
of Saint Peter closing the Pearly Gates. Perhaps,
I'm a dreamer.
This poem reads and flows well and I have no suggestion
for improvement. Keep writing.
Happy New Year, LateBloomer
Comment Written 31-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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This is a commentary on the Tower of Babel story--how human beings want to be like God. I hope that helps explain where I was going with this.
Comment from Artasylum
hi long time listener...oh well, there is always next year and maybe i will become a more skillful architect. HAPPY NEW YEAR. yours, diana
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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hi long time listener...oh well, there is always next year and maybe i will become a more skillful architect. HAPPY NEW YEAR. yours, diana
Comment Written 31-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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I am sure you will. But what did you think of the poem? SMILE.
Comment from avatar1957
Alvin, very nicely done, I have been practicing the Haiku poem for just a short time and i will have to agree haiku does help to concsntrate on the importance of the message the writer is trying to convey which I have found is not a easy feat.
Easy to understand,it flowed, inspirational
Excellent write
P.S. whats up with Peter??? just kidding!!!
avatar1957
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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Alvin, very nicely done, I have been practicing the Haiku poem for just a short time and i will have to agree haiku does help to concsntrate on the importance of the message the writer is trying to convey which I have found is not a easy feat.
Easy to understand,it flowed, inspirational
Excellent write
P.S. whats up with Peter??? just kidding!!!
avatar1957
Comment Written 31-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2009
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Oh, this is a commentary on the Tower of Babel Story. Does Saint Peter's role make more sense with that explanation? Thanks for a good review.
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Alvin, Yes, actually, your clarifying the Tower of Babel adds to you haiku dont no if you wrote a little explaination of this when you entered contest, if not adding a little explaination may aid the readers
But it is just a suggestion!!!!!!!
happy new year
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Actually, I think if I explained that, it would ruin the understated nature of haiku. One reviewer did see it without me explaining it. But even without the explanation, it stands well alone, I think. I just posted two haiku today you might enjoy. They are a little, ahem, clearer. Thanks for your reply.
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Alvin, I truly understand!!!!
I never meant to imply haiku unclear it is an excellent haiku
my only hope is that I one day will have mastered
writing this form of poem as you have
happy new year
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You are very kind. Remember, though, I have been writing haiku for 36 years, and I still have much to learn. It is extremely difficult, but you can do it!
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alvin, because I love haiku I plan to keep practicing
I have a tendency to screw up the syllable count
36 years now that is an accomplishment!!!!!
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The syllabic count is unimportant. Read my essay in my portfolio on "Haiku are not about counting syllables."
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alvin, I most definitely will read it, I love learning, maybe your essay could lend a hand to aid me in the purpose of haiku therefore helping me to master the work in conveying some of the deeper philosophies I would like to share, thank you
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