Pup Tent Love
tasteful, aesthetic eroticism16 total reviews
Comment from debskatz
Hi Al,
Oh, yes... Now that's a nice gay sex poem! Reminds me of that movie that I just had a brain fart over. You know, with Heath Ledger. Something Mountain. Anyway, great poem!
Thanks for sharing it with me!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
  |
Hi Al,
Oh, yes... Now that's a nice gay sex poem! Reminds me of that movie that I just had a brain fart over. You know, with Heath Ledger. Something Mountain. Anyway, great poem!
Thanks for sharing it with me!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 17-May-2009
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
-
"Brokeback Mountain." What a sad film. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Abslutely, Alvin! This offering has not only the technical aspects in sync, but the poem flows with the words...or the words chosen flow with the poem. There is poetry in not only the substance but the form as well. Maybe that is the trick to these: fewer words. That seems to make a difference here and it addresses the technical aspect of formatting. Well-executed! diane
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2008
|
Abslutely, Alvin! This offering has not only the technical aspects in sync, but the poem flows with the words...or the words chosen flow with the poem. There is poetry in not only the substance but the form as well. Maybe that is the trick to these: fewer words. That seems to make a difference here and it addresses the technical aspect of formatting. Well-executed! diane
Comment Written 03-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2008
-
Thanks. I really like this work; I just wish more people would read it, but I had to put a sexual warning on the poem, which causes many people not to read my erotic work, though I think I write aesthetic, tasteful eroticism. I also think metering the poem may have helped.
Comment from Ida B
Hello Alvin, I would first like to say I am learning the many types of poetry, and I am trying to write an acrostic poem now. Your poem is an excellent example of a sestina. This was a very erotic, yet very sensual poem. The artwork was perfect for the poem.Your sestina is not crude ,but it has a raw feeling to it.A lot of poets think you have to use rude and raunchy language to make a statement, and you have proven this not to be true. Excellent poem and done with great taste. Ida B
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2008
|
Hello Alvin, I would first like to say I am learning the many types of poetry, and I am trying to write an acrostic poem now. Your poem is an excellent example of a sestina. This was a very erotic, yet very sensual poem. The artwork was perfect for the poem.Your sestina is not crude ,but it has a raw feeling to it.A lot of poets think you have to use rude and raunchy language to make a statement, and you have proven this not to be true. Excellent poem and done with great taste. Ida B
Comment Written 03-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2008
-
Yes, I try to avoid crude language in my erotic poetry. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from Diny
Oh Dear one- I was surprised by this one I must admit- then again done as an expert in this style with wonderfully discriotive imagery with such a strict ofrm- impressive indeed- I must remember to mention you to a new found friend here-Write on- diny
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
|
Oh Dear one- I was surprised by this one I must admit- then again done as an expert in this style with wonderfully discriotive imagery with such a strict ofrm- impressive indeed- I must remember to mention you to a new found friend here-Write on- diny
Comment Written 28-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2008
-
You are so kind. What is the name of your new-found friend? Would s/he like me to review some of his/her poetry?
-
Well he was wondering if ANY other "family " was around on the site- his name is foster...
Comment from Wendyanne
HI Alvin. This is a very well written piece of sensual poetry in sestina style. You have followed the format very well and succeeded in writing a tasteful piece of erotica. I was wondering about your spelling of naif as I have only ever seen it spelt like naive.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2008
|
HI Alvin. This is a very well written piece of sensual poetry in sestina style. You have followed the format very well and succeeded in writing a tasteful piece of erotica. I was wondering about your spelling of naif as I have only ever seen it spelt like naive.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2008
-
That's the male version, usually used only in French. Thanks for a great review.
-
Oh I see. Thanks for letting me know that
Comment from Broken Fingers
Hi Alvin
This has a terrific (in its original meaning) tension within it as you develop the poem. The tension is brought about by the fears as to whether this is love, sex or even abuse (in life, some of these lines can get blurred). The development and exposition of this piece was superb and the last three lines a necessary relaxation after the explosive penultimate verse. As ever Alvin your crafting of this poem is wonderful and I am impressed.
Gavin (Mr H)
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2008
|
Hi Alvin
This has a terrific (in its original meaning) tension within it as you develop the poem. The tension is brought about by the fears as to whether this is love, sex or even abuse (in life, some of these lines can get blurred). The development and exposition of this piece was superb and the last three lines a necessary relaxation after the explosive penultimate verse. As ever Alvin your crafting of this poem is wonderful and I am impressed.
Gavin (Mr H)
Comment Written 26-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2008
-
Thank you. I don't think it was abuse, by way of explanation--the fumbling innocent protagonist wants this, but his societal conditioning has prohibited him from exploring it until now. Thanks for a terrific review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Alvin first the contents of your perfect poem is very sensual.
I don't know how you do it Alvin . I read the strict rules of how a Sestina should be composed, I give you credit for your poetic talent
wish I had a 6 .
Take care.
Gert
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2008
|
Hello Alvin first the contents of your perfect poem is very sensual.
I don't know how you do it Alvin . I read the strict rules of how a Sestina should be composed, I give you credit for your poetic talent
wish I had a 6 .
Take care.
Gert
Comment Written 25-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2008
-
Thanks for the glowing review. I truly appreciate it.
-
smiles Alvin
Take care
Gert
Comment from The Guardian
Al
This format seems so incredibly difficult, as if the overpowering structure stunts the free flow of the mind. And yet, the structure seems to free up and release a poetry unexpected. You're right. There is an innocence that flows through this piece, along with the overpowering sexual drive of one not familiar with his own sexual prowess and technique. But the drive is overpowering, a hunger, and an insatiable appetite once the narrator enters that pup tent. G-d, Al I love that metaphor. Did you coin that?
You inspire me with this piece. Don't know if I want to tackle it in my green-ness as a poet. But I'm certainly inspired.
Best
Merle
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2008
|
Al
This format seems so incredibly difficult, as if the overpowering structure stunts the free flow of the mind. And yet, the structure seems to free up and release a poetry unexpected. You're right. There is an innocence that flows through this piece, along with the overpowering sexual drive of one not familiar with his own sexual prowess and technique. But the drive is overpowering, a hunger, and an insatiable appetite once the narrator enters that pup tent. G-d, Al I love that metaphor. Did you coin that?
You inspire me with this piece. Don't know if I want to tackle it in my green-ness as a poet. But I'm certainly inspired.
Best
Merle
Comment Written 25-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2008
-
Yes, I coined it. It took me a WHOLE DAY to come up with it. I do really like this poem. You "caught" exactly what I wanted to convey. Thank you.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
AMAZING POETRY! I am overwhelmed, Mr. Ethington. You have given me a case of the vapors in the worst way. What power comes through your well chosen words. What sultry and tasteful (no pun intended) eroticism. Your poem causes the reader to mercilessly and headily (no pun intended) swoon. Fantastic writing, worthy of a million 6-star reviews. I am sorry I have none left, fine poet. Please understand my dirth. This poem is awesome. Simply awesome! If you were hetero, I would be madly in love.
Most fondly,
Miss Seraph
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2008
|
AMAZING POETRY! I am overwhelmed, Mr. Ethington. You have given me a case of the vapors in the worst way. What power comes through your well chosen words. What sultry and tasteful (no pun intended) eroticism. Your poem causes the reader to mercilessly and headily (no pun intended) swoon. Fantastic writing, worthy of a million 6-star reviews. I am sorry I have none left, fine poet. Please understand my dirth. This poem is awesome. Simply awesome! If you were hetero, I would be madly in love.
Most fondly,
Miss Seraph
Comment Written 11-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2008
-
I knew you would like this when I wrote it. This is one of the most difficult forms of poetry to write. I thought you could appreciate the purity and even innocence of the eroticism and was right, my wonderful lady. Remember to fan yourself whenever you read my erotic poetry, Miss Seraph; we must not have you faint.
I remain,
at your service,
Mr. Ethington
Comment from Victoria...
I had a young woman write to me here and ask if I had written a sestina. I told her only one and it was a pain the butt. It's in my Yo Miss! book. I don't know that I like sestinas because of the way the last word in last line of one verse is repeated at the end of the next line. It's hard to make it not sound forced. And you do a great job of it here, and in iambic pentameter to boot!!! And having made love in a pup tent, I know that's pretty difficult too. LOL.
reply by Anonymous Member on 10-Jun-2008
|
I had a young woman write to me here and ask if I had written a sestina. I told her only one and it was a pain the butt. It's in my Yo Miss! book. I don't know that I like sestinas because of the way the last word in last line of one verse is repeated at the end of the next line. It's hard to make it not sound forced. And you do a great job of it here, and in iambic pentameter to boot!!! And having made love in a pup tent, I know that's pretty difficult too. LOL.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2008
reply by Anonymous Member on 10-Jun-2008
-
Thanks for a good review--I was cursing myself for using the word "although" the whole day I wrote the poem. Now that's one word that's hard to carry over. I am thinking about writing another one and having a sestina contest. What do you think?
-
Well I found one of my other attempts at a sestina and it wasn't as awful as I had thought. Not great, but workable. So sure, you create a contest, I'll enter.
