Phase Shift
Depression27 total reviews
Comment from miamia
I can really feel the pain of lost love here. Very powerful images. I love the idea of this: 'I drink to the love of The fever that is my essence.' I can relate, as it brings to mind a lost love of mine, when I was young, thinking the hurt would never end, but it does. Well done, poet! -mia
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2009
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I can really feel the pain of lost love here. Very powerful images. I love the idea of this: 'I drink to the love of The fever that is my essence.' I can relate, as it brings to mind a lost love of mine, when I was young, thinking the hurt would never end, but it does. Well done, poet! -mia
Comment Written 08-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2009
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thank you for the very kind review, I do appreciate it...DKLRD
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my pleasure! -mia
Comment from steevie
I was doing well in understanding your poem right up until the last line, which really threw me. An interesting write in terms of imgery, which was vivid and has much clarity
steve
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2008
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I was doing well in understanding your poem right up until the last line, which really threw me. An interesting write in terms of imgery, which was vivid and has much clarity
steve
Comment Written 08-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2008
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thank you very much for the kind review, I do appreciate it...dklrd
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi dklrd....a very dark poem...Poe would be proud of you! You have used some powerful wording that captures depression very well. I do think you can tighten up the lines by deleting some unnecessary words..() = delete
(The) clouds of....
Over (the) shadows....
I drink to (the) love (of)
(The) fever (that) is my...
When (the) liquid...
(With) a barren...
These are just suggestions to tighten things up that you can either use of lose. Good poem....chey
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2008
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Hi dklrd....a very dark poem...Poe would be proud of you! You have used some powerful wording that captures depression very well. I do think you can tighten up the lines by deleting some unnecessary words..() = delete
(The) clouds of....
Over (the) shadows....
I drink to (the) love (of)
(The) fever (that) is my...
When (the) liquid...
(With) a barren...
These are just suggestions to tighten things up that you can either use of lose. Good poem....chey
Comment Written 08-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2008
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thank you...dklrd
Comment from Artasylum
this was so hard for me to read today...souls and poisions and interetwining veins are the cause of anothe lousy day...interesting take on a day in the life of...yours, diana
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2008
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this was so hard for me to read today...souls and poisions and interetwining veins are the cause of anothe lousy day...interesting take on a day in the life of...yours, diana
Comment Written 08-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2008
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thank you...dklrd
Comment from eraserlynch
Great poem about a topic I live and breathe every day. I love this part the best;
Vein after vein, closing, intertwining
With a barren soul of loneliness.
Pure intoxication purifies the heart.
Look forward to reading more soon.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2008
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Great poem about a topic I live and breathe every day. I love this part the best;
Vein after vein, closing, intertwining
With a barren soul of loneliness.
Pure intoxication purifies the heart.
Look forward to reading more soon.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2008
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thank you for the great review, I do appreciate it...dklrd
Comment from honeytree
Stirring, clammering for life,
The clouds of despair linger
Over the shadows of once was.
Lounging with a quart of poison,
I drink to the love of
The fever that is my essence.
Can you stand the pressure
That explodes with intensity
When the liquid of ice enters?
Vein after vein, closing, intertwining
With a barren soul of loneliness.
Pure intoxication purifies the heart.
I felt this work was very well described and very strong and scary.
This was a writing of great imagination and knowledge.
I loved this poem.
honeytree
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2008
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Stirring, clammering for life,
The clouds of despair linger
Over the shadows of once was.
Lounging with a quart of poison,
I drink to the love of
The fever that is my essence.
Can you stand the pressure
That explodes with intensity
When the liquid of ice enters?
Vein after vein, closing, intertwining
With a barren soul of loneliness.
Pure intoxication purifies the heart.
I felt this work was very well described and very strong and scary.
This was a writing of great imagination and knowledge.
I loved this poem.
honeytree
Comment Written 08-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2008
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thanbk you so very much for such a kind review, I am overwhelmed by it...dklrd
Comment from XR15
Hi There
"Over the shadows of once was." - liked this line particularly. I'm getting to grips with your dark and brooding work now - and finding it fun. hope that's alright. LOL
keep up the good work
Cheers
Chris
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2008
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Hi There
"Over the shadows of once was." - liked this line particularly. I'm getting to grips with your dark and brooding work now - and finding it fun. hope that's alright. LOL
keep up the good work
Cheers
Chris
Comment Written 08-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2008
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thank you for the very kind review, I appreciate it...dklrd
Comment from davidray
Kinda wierd, though I'm sure you don't mind. In fact, I bet that was your intention all along, so well done! Thanks for sharing. :)
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008
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Kinda wierd, though I'm sure you don't mind. In fact, I bet that was your intention all along, so well done! Thanks for sharing. :)
Comment Written 07-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008
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yes, it was intended to be very different and obtruse. thanks for noticing...dark lord
Comment from Polly_Pisces
Lounging with a quart of poison,
I drink to the love of
The fever that is my essence. -Yeah, sorry to read yer got the sad head, but dude, I gotta say, that one of the coolest stanzas I read in long time. I love it.
Take care,
Good luck to find smile again.
Polly
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008
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Lounging with a quart of poison,
I drink to the love of
The fever that is my essence. -Yeah, sorry to read yer got the sad head, but dude, I gotta say, that one of the coolest stanzas I read in long time. I love it.
Take care,
Good luck to find smile again.
Polly
Comment Written 07-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008
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WOW!!! thanks a million for the comment, I thought that line came out great also. Thanks once again for stopping by...dklrd
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Did yer smile?
Comment from sadnessbringer
thought it was really good, slightly on the strange side, but still good. good description, it had a nice flow to it, i really liked :) sadnessbringer :(
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008
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thought it was really good, slightly on the strange side, but still good. good description, it had a nice flow to it, i really liked :) sadnessbringer :(
Comment Written 07-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008
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Thank you for the kind words, I am glad that you thought it was on the strange side because that is the way I wanted it to come out...dklrd
