Caduceus
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "The Police"cardiologist falsely accused of wrongful death
9 total reviews
Comment from Gungalo
Boy well now he knows and he doesn't have any excuse for himself. It is going to be hard yes but that is what drinking does to you. Golly what can he do now besides join a meeting?
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Boy well now he knows and he doesn't have any excuse for himself. It is going to be hard yes but that is what drinking does to you. Golly what can he do now besides join a meeting?
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Thans Gungalo---there are some meetings in his future.
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Great, he'll fix up just fine then.
Comment from lindalcreel
I understand that he had a drinking problem, but she was pretty quick with getting a restraining order to keep him away from the house and the kids. She probably already has a new boyfriend, but she'll want Dr. Barnett to pay the bills and the new guy will be a sponge. Great chapter. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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I understand that he had a drinking problem, but she was pretty quick with getting a restraining order to keep him away from the house and the kids. She probably already has a new boyfriend, but she'll want Dr. Barnett to pay the bills and the new guy will be a sponge. Great chapter. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Linda--This chapter and the chapter-The Separation --are autobiographical. You're right --my ex wife did have a boy friend when this happened. He was unemployed--and moved in with my wife and kids.I'm lucky I'm not in jail now- and he's lucky he's still alive.-Doug
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No one could have blamed you, but what happened to the kids. Did you ever come back into their life? Your wife didn't deserve them. They would have been better off with you.
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My children are grown--Erin 36--teaches school in Chicago burb, Peter 32 write soundtrack music in Portland, Maddie 26 married a multi millionaaire three yrs ago. She has a son--my first grandson. My children have been damaged by the whole mess that went on yrs ago. It's mostly my fault--but they no little of what their mom did to me. I'll never tell but kids are a little distant. I'm always working on it.
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They'll come around. I'm sure they didn't like the tattooed guy moving into your house.
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tattoo , was that an assumption--a social classsification? You're coorrect. He had tattoos and all he did was pump iron and beat-up men on the basketball court. The reality of my divorce is likely beyond fiction--the fear and heartbreak for all involved was devastasing---some is irreparable. Perhaps that's why I write about it.----Appreciate your empathy, Linda
Comment from allborn66
This is a great chapter. I like the real time scene with the restraining order and the police. It is very nicely done. Barbara
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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This is a great chapter. I like the real time scene with the restraining order and the police. It is very nicely done. Barbara
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Thanks Barbara---always appreciated--Thanks for reading-Doug
Comment from witness4HIM
The 29th, my son's 80 yrs old mother-i-law is having double catheterization and I surely pray that her doctor does not have this problem (or any) that David is experiencing.
I am wondering since your profile states of the terrible divorce you had, could this be a recollection of your life?
You written it well
so continue to dedicate your life to writing more that others may learn from the writings..
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2008
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The 29th, my son's 80 yrs old mother-i-law is having double catheterization and I surely pray that her doctor does not have this problem (or any) that David is experiencing.
I am wondering since your profile states of the terrible divorce you had, could this be a recollection of your life?
You written it well
so continue to dedicate your life to writing more that others may learn from the writings..
Comment Written 27-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2008
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Much appreciated
Comment from babylonia
this is a really good chapter. i can still feel that raw emotion that comes from writing from the heart. i did see a few spaggies but they are easily fixed. it is mostly with word arrangement. forcing her back as it flew wide open. (change arrangement of the words ... a little)
He was about to step inside when Peter, his son, appeared in the foyer. Speaking in a subdued voice, (just a few changes in word arrangement)
"Doctor, do you know you're not supposed to be here at your house?" (question mark)
definitely a good read. imagery is excellent. keep up the good work~
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2008
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this is a really good chapter. i can still feel that raw emotion that comes from writing from the heart. i did see a few spaggies but they are easily fixed. it is mostly with word arrangement. forcing her back as it flew wide open. (change arrangement of the words ... a little)
He was about to step inside when Peter, his son, appeared in the foyer. Speaking in a subdued voice, (just a few changes in word arrangement)
"Doctor, do you know you're not supposed to be here at your house?" (question mark)
definitely a good read. imagery is excellent. keep up the good work~
Comment Written 20-Jan-2008
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2008
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Hi B--interestingly i was considering revision of same sentences you recommended.----I'll correct spag and make other changes---thanks---Doug
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doug,
you are very welcome. i am glad i could help.
barbara
Comment from Beejay
This chapter held my attention throughout. I think it was a clever well constructed piece of writing. As i read through it I could feel the drama unfolding and the mood becoming more melancholy. Well done
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2008
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This chapter held my attention throughout. I think it was a clever well constructed piece of writing. As i read through it I could feel the drama unfolding and the mood becoming more melancholy. Well done
Comment Written 15-Jan-2008
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2008
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Hi beejay---Thanks for nice comments---hope you can read more----Doug
Comment from Nanny 6
This story is both exciting and flows smoothly, I haven't read the previous chapters, but this chapter perked my interest to see why David is in his situation. You are a very good writer. Judy
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2008
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This story is both exciting and flows smoothly, I haven't read the previous chapters, but this chapter perked my interest to see why David is in his situation. You are a very good writer. Judy
Comment Written 14-Jan-2008
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2008
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Hi Judy---thank you for kind words---hope you can read more----Doug
Comment from Dave M
Doug,
Haven't read previous chapters, so I don't know how or why the marriage broke down. Nonetheless, this is a good, grim chapter. I have a couple of suggestions:
"After working long hours for years, all of their savings went toward building the house." This is a dangling participle. The savings didn't work, they did. I'd suggest, "After working long hours for years, they put all of their savings toward building the house."
?No it isn?t. You?ve lost your privileges, David. You don?t belong here anymore.? I don't think Susan would say "David" in this sentence, and I think it would read better without the name.
Dave M
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2008
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Doug,
Haven't read previous chapters, so I don't know how or why the marriage broke down. Nonetheless, this is a good, grim chapter. I have a couple of suggestions:
"After working long hours for years, all of their savings went toward building the house." This is a dangling participle. The savings didn't work, they did. I'd suggest, "After working long hours for years, they put all of their savings toward building the house."
?No it isn?t. You?ve lost your privileges, David. You don?t belong here anymore.? I don't think Susan would say "David" in this sentence, and I think it would read better without the name.
Dave M
Comment Written 14-Jan-2008
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2008
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Hi Dave----Thanks for great review. I agree with recs---I'll fix the dangler. Hope you can read more---Doug
Comment from Blaidd Drwg
Again we have the mixture of "David" and "Barnett". Not sure this works. Since you're using third-person limited PoV, you should stick to one or the other.
"An evening three weeks ..." - "One evening, three weeks ... "works better I think.
This is just getting sadder and sadder. I suppose this is not uncommon with people who have jobs that are so demanding both in time and emotional investment.
I am praying this works out - and not just for Dr. Barnett ... :(
John
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2008
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Again we have the mixture of "David" and "Barnett". Not sure this works. Since you're using third-person limited PoV, you should stick to one or the other.
"An evening three weeks ..." - "One evening, three weeks ... "works better I think.
This is just getting sadder and sadder. I suppose this is not uncommon with people who have jobs that are so demanding both in time and emotional investment.
I am praying this works out - and not just for Dr. Barnett ... :(
John
Comment Written 14-Jan-2008
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2008
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Thanks again, John-------recs on name and "one evening" will be addressed.----always appreciate your reviews.---Doug
