Reviews from

Caduceus

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Tamayo--Part One"
cardiologist falsely accused of wrongful death

10 total reviews 
Comment from lindalcreel
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So I'm thinking that he just gave the doctor an air embolism, injecting nothing in the syringe. That can be deadly. I guess there is a reason that Dr. T. wasn't accepted at the other schools, because he's an idiot. My guess is it will be someone else's fault; not his, because he is after all a DOCTOR. This isn't going to turn out well for anybody. Thank you so much for sharing. This is a pretty scary reality.

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 13-Oct-2013
    Hi Linda--thanks for your continued support. Hope you'll read more.-Doug
reply by lindalcreel on 13-Oct-2013
    I love these posts:)
Comment from allborn66
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an interesting chapter. I like how you characterized the main character with good and bad qualities. The dialogue is believable. The pacing is nice.
Barbara

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
    Thanks again, Barb. Much appreciated. Doug
Comment from Gungalo
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh boy, that's all it takes. The poor patient is a goner for sure. This procedure is very tricky and demands the ultimate attention of the doctor.

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
    Love your expressions---Oh boy---thanks G. Always look forward to your comments.-Doug
reply by Gungalo on 11-Oct-2013
    Smiling at you Doug.
Comment from Mteske
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I liked how you spread the paragraphs out. It made it much easier to follow. Your dialogue fit in and your word choice was outstanding. Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
    Mteske---Thank you. This is a chapter out of a 45 chapter novel. Thanks for kind remarks. Not sure which contest you're referring to. perhaps I should write an entry.--Thanks again-Doug
reply by Mteske on 11-Oct-2013
    I misread, I though you were in a contest. SOrry
Comment from witness4HIM
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh, my....for a patient that has undergone three of these cath., it does not please me to know the Dr was thinking of his car that this man's surgery was going to pay.

Do they really put them to sleep?

I have had locals every time and even still felt considerable pain, enough the Dr ordered more meds.

For all you good people out there in reader-land", make sure your Dr in these procedures are not money crazy but very concerned about your safety and welfare.

Good details in the administering this surgery, and also warning the future patients that there is a chance of fatality in it.


 Comment Written 05-Aug-2008


reply by the author on 08-Aug-2008
    Thanks again witnesss----im very pleased that reading entire novel----Doug
Comment from babylonia
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

oy vey~ oy vey. what was the man thinking. he should have checked before he killed this man. i saw one spag : and prepared Tom Krider for his cath. (Krider needs a capital K)

heart caths were kind of risky back then. they are so much easier today. oy vey .... i can't wait till the next chapter.


 Comment Written 09-Jan-2008


reply by the author on 10-Jan-2008
    Thanks again B---see my other reply----Doug
reply by babylonia on 10-Jan-2008
    you are very welcome!
    babylonia
Comment from Oatmeal
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

cardiodoug,

I think that there are going to be problems but I guess the next chapter will say.

The story line flowed nicely. The characters were realistic. The dialogs were good. The descriptions were detailed.

I did spot a couple SPAG-

?(What ever) you say, Doc.?

**Whatever

unlikelihood of coronary (atery) disease in his patient, decided that it would be best to

**artery

Everything else looked great.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2008


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2008
    Hi Oatmeal---appreciate your continued support. I'll correct items you mentioned---chapter 9 posted today---Doug
Comment from Syrupysweet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hmmmm. That's why Dr. Tamayo did not do that good in medical school. His daydreaming comes in the most inprropriate time. I mean, he's about to do surgery! Overall, I enjoyed this story, especially about the background info of the procedure. It shows you are either in this field currently or really did a lot of research in this subject. I like Tamayo's sense of humor, but I hope he finds a balance between work and play. Great work!

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2008


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2008
    Hi Sweet----Thanks for nice comments. I'm a cardiologist----glad you didn't find this too technical.----Doug
Comment from dorothy'stalker
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Cariodoug I'm rating this a five, but somehow I'm troubled about this story. So much that I find it difficult to read. Something doesn't ring right about this guy and I find it impossible to believe that he could speak so to the nurses. Either he's thoroughly stupid, or he's a monster. I have many friends from over the border and I can't buy this guy. I don't like it, but I didn't find any particular errors, except that people don't talk that way.
Dorothy'stalker

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2008


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2008
    Hi Dorothy----I've practiced cardiology for 20 years---this character is based upon a shyster doc I knew in Toledo----believe me--it's real----and it gets worse in part two of this chapter---Thanks for review---Doug
Comment from Blaidd Drwg
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh what a sleazy character you've introduced here :)

What follows is just some personal opinions, probably worth little, and certainly not to detract from your skill as a writer.

I personally would stay away from the phonetic spelling of "Tomato's" accent. Mark Twain did it all the time and it drives me nuts. (His was much more pronounced than yours :) There are many writers who don't do it - and get away with it. Just a thought, again, very much a personal opinion.

Hmm, I don't know about your explanation of "caduceus" - I felt like it was for the reader's benefit. Need to be careful, readers don't like to be babied, especially since Kathy was taunting him.

"The Tamayo?s ancestors" is a little clumsy. There's gotta be a better way to say this...

I found this a little hard to believe: "Despite that, Mary, Linda and the remaining cardiac lab staff generally enjoyed working with Dr. Tamayo" I didn't see it coming, in fact would have expected the opposite. Maybe you should telegraph it a little more.

OK, this is one scary, disturbing chapter; but mah-velous! :)

John

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2008


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2008
    John---Thanks---I'm going to make some revisions---tamayo is based upon a cardiologist I knew yrs ago---I've practiced cardiology for 20 yrs---you'd be surprised to know what's out there----Thanks again----Doug