Caduceus
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Cassandra"cardiologist falsely accused of wrongful death
25 total reviews
Comment from Tessa Kay
Cassie suffered from ...pain in her chest, under her breastbone. This is written from the viewpoint of the mother, but to me it sounds like a doctor speaking, clarifying where the pain is. I don't think a non-medic would add that detail. Just an observation.
-He took a deep breath... After the backstory I think you need to clarify better that here the story continues. Like saying for example 'That was three months ago.' or something to that effect to let the reader know, that backstory is finished.
-radial artery. I don't think a father with no medical knowledge would describe it that way.
I still like your writing, though I think sometimes, the medical author slips into the story a bit.
I like the characterization of the father and the way you describe the interaction between him and the daughter. Very insightful and well written.
On to chapter three.
Tessa
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
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Cassie suffered from ...pain in her chest, under her breastbone. This is written from the viewpoint of the mother, but to me it sounds like a doctor speaking, clarifying where the pain is. I don't think a non-medic would add that detail. Just an observation.
-He took a deep breath... After the backstory I think you need to clarify better that here the story continues. Like saying for example 'That was three months ago.' or something to that effect to let the reader know, that backstory is finished.
-radial artery. I don't think a father with no medical knowledge would describe it that way.
I still like your writing, though I think sometimes, the medical author slips into the story a bit.
I like the characterization of the father and the way you describe the interaction between him and the daughter. Very insightful and well written.
On to chapter three.
Tessa
Comment Written 19-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
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Hi Tessa-----I'm not sure I know what to say. I've read your story about the FBI and the bomber---Rumplestiltskin. Give me some time to think this over. You're right--your comment about reviewers slappin' a 5 star on everything. On the otherhand, some of your comments sting with arrogance. I want to be objective. I love your reviews--I will seriously consider your recommendations. Please read more. I'll give my final assessment of your critiques in a few days. -----I've never been to Ireland-----seen much of it on TV and movies. It's one place I'd love to see before I'm stuck in the ground.------------with appreciation------Doug
Comment from allborn66
This is a very nice chapter. Your character interacted with each other well. I like your dialogue. The pacing in the story is nice.
Barbara
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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This is a very nice chapter. Your character interacted with each other well. I like your dialogue. The pacing in the story is nice.
Barbara
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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barb---thanks--please read more--45 chapters in all.-Doug
Comment from emjaihammond
This is such a good story. I have enjoyed reading it, going through all the scenarios as I go. A child who is sick is always the worst, but a child who is sick and nobody knows why, is the worst.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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This is such a good story. I have enjoyed reading it, going through all the scenarios as I go. A child who is sick is always the worst, but a child who is sick and nobody knows why, is the worst.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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hello E-----very nice comments. Thanks for your support. You inspire me. I'll post another chapter today--Monday-Doug
Comment from Nikitapoetry
Cassandra hopped up on the end of the bed, landing on her father's feet, hidden under the covers.
"Hey, be careful, kiddo."
"Oh, I'm sorry. It's snowing, Daddy!"
Carlo raised his head to look out the window. "Why, so it is."
Cassie jumped up, scurried around to the other side of the bed, and gave her mother a hug around the neck. "Mommy, let's go outside right now. Okay?"
"Cassie, you've got to settle down. You're so thrilled about this snow, I bet you forgot what day it is?"
"No. I know. It's my birthday."
Carlo sat up, swept dark hair from his forehead and said "Your birthday? It's not."
"Oh, you know it's my birthday!"
the conversation is nice :)
keep up the good work !
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Cassandra hopped up on the end of the bed, landing on her father's feet, hidden under the covers.
"Hey, be careful, kiddo."
"Oh, I'm sorry. It's snowing, Daddy!"
Carlo raised his head to look out the window. "Why, so it is."
Cassie jumped up, scurried around to the other side of the bed, and gave her mother a hug around the neck. "Mommy, let's go outside right now. Okay?"
"Cassie, you've got to settle down. You're so thrilled about this snow, I bet you forgot what day it is?"
"No. I know. It's my birthday."
Carlo sat up, swept dark hair from his forehead and said "Your birthday? It's not."
"Oh, you know it's my birthday!"
the conversation is nice :)
keep up the good work !
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Hi Nikita---Thank you. i see that your in Delhi. Nice to have international support. Hope you'll read more.----Doug
Comment from PageWizard
Wonderful story so far. Leaves me wanting more. Kept my interest all the way. Please make sure I get that link.
I would give It six stars but not able to at this time due to 6 star limit.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Wonderful story so far. Leaves me wanting more. Kept my interest all the way. Please make sure I get that link.
I would give It six stars but not able to at this time due to 6 star limit.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Hi page wizard--------------Very complimentary. You inspire me---Hope you'll read more---thanks-Doug
Comment from Gungalo
Sigh quite a story so far. It seems that all the medical docs agree that Cassie is fine, Cassis, on the other hand, doesn't know what the problem is but blames her heart. I'll bet she ends up being right.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Sigh quite a story so far. It seems that all the medical docs agree that Cassie is fine, Cassis, on the other hand, doesn't know what the problem is but blames her heart. I'll bet she ends up being right.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Hi Gungalo-----Thanks for nice comments. How's the weather down there? hope you'll read more of Caduceus.---thanks-doug
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Great Doug. LOL
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wish I were there!
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Heheh everyone says that.
Comment from barkingdog
So many doctors say that Cassie is fine and just needs emotional support. But Cassie seems to know something is different about her heart.
The moment with the snowman with a hole for a heart was scary.
You have set up some doubts, and I wonder if the doctors are right.
I saw one spag:
-the psychologist(,) and he felt a bit of remorse
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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So many doctors say that Cassie is fine and just needs emotional support. But Cassie seems to know something is different about her heart.
The moment with the snowman with a hole for a heart was scary.
You have set up some doubts, and I wonder if the doctors are right.
I saw one spag:
-the psychologist(,) and he felt a bit of remorse
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Hi BD---thanks for nice comments and five stars. Im inspired. Hope you'll read more--i'll post another chapter today-Doug
Comment from Ric Myworld
Great Story! So real, for me, that it made my heart hurt a little. I had a brother who suffered these symptoms and was similarly diagnosed. We were to believe that his beating his head on the floor were tantrums for attention. Turned out they were seizures and he had to have heart surgery too. Gripping and thought provoking. GREAT JOB!
Thanks for the read!
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Great Story! So real, for me, that it made my heart hurt a little. I had a brother who suffered these symptoms and was similarly diagnosed. We were to believe that his beating his head on the floor were tantrums for attention. Turned out they were seizures and he had to have heart surgery too. Gripping and thought provoking. GREAT JOB!
Thanks for the read!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Hi Ric---wonderful comments---thank you much. hope you'll read more-Doug
Comment from c_lucas
Sometimes, if not all of the time, children complaints should be taken seriously. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very serious read. There is good imagery.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Sometimes, if not all of the time, children complaints should be taken seriously. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very serious read. There is good imagery.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Hi c----Thanks for nice comments--"smooth flow of words"--I like that---Hope you'll read the next chapter.-Doug
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You're welcome, I'm got too much on my plate at the moment, but I will do my bestest. You're welcome, Doug. Charlie
Comment from Auroraboreal800
What an interesting story! Very well written, with good dialogues, and a very creative subject. Your story sounds great. I am looking forward to reading more.
Great job Cardio!
:)
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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What an interesting story! Very well written, with good dialogues, and a very creative subject. Your story sounds great. I am looking forward to reading more.
Great job Cardio!
:)
Comment Written 05-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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dear Northern lights----thank you for such nice comments. I'm inspired. Hope you'll read more--posting next chapter today.--Doug
