Wrong In All The Right Ways
Erotica about a housewife who's husband cheated on her.2 total reviews
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I think these type of scenes are the most difficult to write. Erotic writing is a talent and you definitely have a talent. The setup at the start of your story works so well. Excellent use of dialogue and I can feel the emotions. The sex scene was well written - not too much - not too little. Great job!
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I think these type of scenes are the most difficult to write. Erotic writing is a talent and you definitely have a talent. The setup at the start of your story works so well. Excellent use of dialogue and I can feel the emotions. The sex scene was well written - not too much - not too little. Great job!
Comment Written 13-Jan-2025
Comment from lancellot
Interesting. You have a good story and premise. This is FanStory, so whenever you have a wife cheat or manipulates her husband, you have to make it his fault, by making him a known cheater or abuser. Nice way to know your audience.
notes:
"I just {though}, after so much time-"
-"I just thought, after so much time-"
His words grate so I interrupt. "What does time have to do with anything?"
-His words grate so I interrupt, "What does time have to do with anything?"
I slap his hands away, "We can't."
-I slap his hands away. "We can't."
Her muscles aren't {taught} like they are when I touch them
-Her muscles aren't taunt like they are when I touch them
"I know what I'm {doing," I get} closer and whisper into her neck.
-"I know what I'm doing." I get closer and whisper into her neck.
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Interesting. You have a good story and premise. This is FanStory, so whenever you have a wife cheat or manipulates her husband, you have to make it his fault, by making him a known cheater or abuser. Nice way to know your audience.
notes:
"I just {though}, after so much time-"
-"I just thought, after so much time-"
His words grate so I interrupt. "What does time have to do with anything?"
-His words grate so I interrupt, "What does time have to do with anything?"
I slap his hands away, "We can't."
-I slap his hands away. "We can't."
Her muscles aren't {taught} like they are when I touch them
-Her muscles aren't taunt like they are when I touch them
"I know what I'm {doing," I get} closer and whisper into her neck.
-"I know what I'm doing." I get closer and whisper into her neck.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
