The Whispering Shadows
Haunted house, eerie whispers.17 total reviews
Comment from Mrs Anna Howard
I always love an eerie Gothic setting and you nailed it on this one, especially the murmuring so soft but definitely there. The word "leave " on the book was a good scare. It also brings out the sense of desperation of someone already in too deep. Wonderful piece!
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I always love an eerie Gothic setting and you nailed it on this one, especially the murmuring so soft but definitely there. The word "leave " on the book was a good scare. It also brings out the sense of desperation of someone already in too deep. Wonderful piece!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2025
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You have done a good job of creating an eerie scene in very few words. The chill, the open book of blank pages, the voice from an unseen presence make it believable that the lamp would go out, and something more is going to happen. Well done flash fiction.
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You have done a good job of creating an eerie scene in very few words. The chill, the open book of blank pages, the voice from an unseen presence make it believable that the lamp would go out, and something more is going to happen. Well done flash fiction.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2025
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Dear Elias, this is very good and an excellent entry for the flash fiction contest. You've structured and measured the story well to fit the prompt and successfully built up the tension throughout, ending on a strong finale. The essence of a good read when I want to know more. No errors noted. Well done and good luck! Debbie
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Dear Elias, this is very good and an excellent entry for the flash fiction contest. You've structured and measured the story well to fit the prompt and successfully built up the tension throughout, ending on a strong finale. The essence of a good read when I want to know more. No errors noted. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 11-Jan-2025
Comment from Karen Cherry
Small yet full of creepy. Good work. I hope you continue to write. Welcome to the site. I have made many friends here, I hope you do to. What is your favorite style to write? Mine is humorous crime. But, I also have a dark side where I creep myself out. You can go to the community button at the top of the screen, go to find a member, say "Karen Cherry Threadgill" and put in the first letter of the of person you want to read. Troll until you find it. Click it and there you are, If you know the name of the story you want read, like " The elevator" then go to the portfolio button on their page, it takes you to their stories. Click the "all" button on the right side , and it gives you an alphabetical listing of their stories. It took me a year before I figured that out! Good luck with your writing. Karen
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Small yet full of creepy. Good work. I hope you continue to write. Welcome to the site. I have made many friends here, I hope you do to. What is your favorite style to write? Mine is humorous crime. But, I also have a dark side where I creep myself out. You can go to the community button at the top of the screen, go to find a member, say "Karen Cherry Threadgill" and put in the first letter of the of person you want to read. Troll until you find it. Click it and there you are, If you know the name of the story you want read, like " The elevator" then go to the portfolio button on their page, it takes you to their stories. Click the "all" button on the right side , and it gives you an alphabetical listing of their stories. It took me a year before I figured that out! Good luck with your writing. Karen
Comment Written 11-Jan-2025
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness this is a scary and suspenseful post and I was on the edge of my seat here. I enjoyed your horror story as the darkness is always scary as it takes away one of our most important senses, sight! Love Dolly x x x
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Oh my goodness this is a scary and suspenseful post and I was on the edge of my seat here. I enjoyed your horror story as the darkness is always scary as it takes away one of our most important senses, sight! Love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 11-Jan-2025
Comment from Nicki.B
This is excellent work. Very gripping, your use of words really captures the scene in a haunting way that sucks you into the story! Newbie flash fiction?! This looks very professional, well done and good luck with the contest!
Best Wishes
Nicki
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This is excellent work. Very gripping, your use of words really captures the scene in a haunting way that sucks you into the story! Newbie flash fiction?! This looks very professional, well done and good luck with the contest!
Best Wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 10-Jan-2025
Comment from F. William Lester
Uh oh! What happened to Sam? Nice work. Flash Fiction is difficult at best to tell a complete story. This looks like it was supposed to be somewhere (without counting) between 100 and 150 words. You got your story and then some in the required word count. Thanks for sharing it. Good luck in the contest. Be well.
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Uh oh! What happened to Sam? Nice work. Flash Fiction is difficult at best to tell a complete story. This looks like it was supposed to be somewhere (without counting) between 100 and 150 words. You got your story and then some in the required word count. Thanks for sharing it. Good luck in the contest. Be well.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2025
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Not just darkness, but suffocating darkness!
That ain't good, as we would say here in Arkansas.
And why is Sam there at midnight? (smiley face here)
Good luck in the contest.
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Not just darkness, but suffocating darkness!
That ain't good, as we would say here in Arkansas.
And why is Sam there at midnight? (smiley face here)
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2025
Comment from lancellot
This is good. You do well in creating a spooky theme and tone throughout. You have exactly one hundred words and your editing is spot on. Now, flash fiction doesn't just mean short, the ending is a big part of that. I would recommend re-focusing on that. The here seems to lack a punch, or an impactful or surprising conclusion. You want to give the readers something unexpected after that build-up.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This is good. You do well in creating a spooky theme and tone throughout. You have exactly one hundred words and your editing is spot on. Now, flash fiction doesn't just mean short, the ending is a big part of that. I would recommend re-focusing on that. The here seems to lack a punch, or an impactful or surprising conclusion. You want to give the readers something unexpected after that build-up.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2025
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That is good!! You have managed to show, not tell, this story, allowing us to feel the tension and emotions Sam is feeling. The ending is really scary. Very well done, and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
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That is good!! You have managed to show, not tell, this story, allowing us to feel the tension and emotions Sam is feeling. The ending is really scary. Very well done, and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 10-Jan-2025
