Comment from phill doran

Good

Hello CMP
This is a very vivid image of a dramatic event, and a good subject for your form, which often deals with nature and natural phenomena.
I think you might need to rework certain lines though, as they appear to have drifted from the format.

scorched by our apathy and disregard (scorched by our ap-a-thy and dis-re-gard) (10)

southern horizons (south-ern ho-ri-zons) (5)

koalas ghosts echo in ashen shrub (ko-a-las ghosts ech-o in ash-en shrub) (10) (I also think it should be "...koalas'..." with an apostrophe)

These are all readily fixed, I am sure.

I wish you well with your continued writing.

cheers

phill

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2024

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reply by the author on 02-Nov-2024

thanks for the feedback, was counting them out as I was speaking it out loud but must've gone wrong somewhere

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I was about to say in Australia we have been used to bushfires and their destructive ways, stock. human, indigenous creatures and property destroyed, beautifully written my friend, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2024

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reply by the author on 02-Nov-2024

Thanks, still learning but enjoying it