Truckin
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Truckin, Ch 14 (alt)"The left lane is for passing only
9 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This ending is way better. Being dead is a cop out and I don't see him fighting until the end. This is more like him and it is great Thurmon has also showed up. The cop with the wink is pretty special, too. Besides, he managed to never kill a trucker, just changed the attitude. This could be a publishable story with this ending.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2024
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This ending is way better. Being dead is a cop out and I don't see him fighting until the end. This is more like him and it is great Thurmon has also showed up. The cop with the wink is pretty special, too. Besides, he managed to never kill a trucker, just changed the attitude. This could be a publishable story with this ending.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2024
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Thank you ever so much for your very nice review.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Okay, you got me, old doom and gloom lover here. This one made me smile - especially the officer obviously knowing WHO he was - and the other ending made me sad. How does the song go? I'm only happy when it rains . . .
I was with Debbie when you first told me about this, but here's why I like both endings together. It's as if you're posing the question, "What would have happened if he'd done this instead?" We often wonder that in life, why not also in fiction?
I like it, Wayne. It's been done before, where a writer gives you two possible endings, but not often. But in the end, this is about people making the right choices and living with a loving heart. Incorporating both endings shows us what free will allows.
I think the endings are well done and work together.
You never saw a story of this length coming when you wrote those first two chapters, did you?
Take care, my friend.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2024
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Okay, you got me, old doom and gloom lover here. This one made me smile - especially the officer obviously knowing WHO he was - and the other ending made me sad. How does the song go? I'm only happy when it rains . . .
I was with Debbie when you first told me about this, but here's why I like both endings together. It's as if you're posing the question, "What would have happened if he'd done this instead?" We often wonder that in life, why not also in fiction?
I like it, Wayne. It's been done before, where a writer gives you two possible endings, but not often. But in the end, this is about people making the right choices and living with a loving heart. Incorporating both endings shows us what free will allows.
I think the endings are well done and work together.
You never saw a story of this length coming when you wrote those first two chapters, did you?
Take care, my friend.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 31-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2024
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Thank you so very, very much.
When I first wrote it, there was no Thurmon at all, or of course, Clyde surviving. It was simply an anger-blast against truckers. I think you are right about the two endings working together. And yes, the 'what if' question often comes up.
(Hope I didn't anger you too much with my Rachelle.Gretchen chapter. smiley face here)
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Why would I be angered? As I recall, you were following Allen's lead.
Have a good evening. Will you be passing out candy? We'll have between 10 and 50 kids - it changes from year to year and we never know:-)
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We're at the end of a country road. Not a single reveler in the 5 years we've lived here.
I think I had you 'steam roll' across the ball room floor. (Or maybe I shouldn't have reminded you. smiley face here)
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Rachelle had me doing pretty much the same thing:-) I guess I'm a force to be reckoned with (at least in my own mind, lol!).
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In a very positive way (a force)
grinny face here
Comment from Wendy G
Ah, now that is a better ending! Purposeful and productive. Still honours Jane but helps others, promoting not destroying life. It's more satisfying, as there's too much unnecessary killing. If you are planning to publish why not keep both? Like those "Choose your own adventure" books.
Wendy
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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Ah, now that is a better ending! Purposeful and productive. Still honours Jane but helps others, promoting not destroying life. It's more satisfying, as there's too much unnecessary killing. If you are planning to publish why not keep both? Like those "Choose your own adventure" books.
Wendy
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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Thank you for your great review and suggestion.
Comment from jim vecchio
I enjoyed this version so much! I would definitely pick this ending. There are too little happy endings today. Wish I had that six! Now if you had some snow and people singing "Hark the herald angels sing..."
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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I enjoyed this version so much! I would definitely pick this ending. There are too little happy endings today. Wish I had that six! Now if you had some snow and people singing "Hark the herald angels sing..."
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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smiley face here
Thank you for your great review.
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Always enjoy your work!
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, Debbie, is probably right on it being a cop-out and all, but if it was up to me, I'd cop-out and keep both endings. LOL. I like both. And far as I'm concerned, life is about options. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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Well, Debbie, is probably right on it being a cop-out and all, but if it was up to me, I'd cop-out and keep both endings. LOL. I like both. And far as I'm concerned, life is about options. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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Thank you for your great review and the suggestion.
Comment from lyenochka
This is the ending I vote for! There's redemption and the tragedies led to an opportunity for truckers to get test for their bodies and souls. What job is Thurmon applying for? And is the Santa Claus trucker Slim?
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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This is the ending I vote for! There's redemption and the tragedies led to an opportunity for truckers to get test for their bodies and souls. What job is Thurmon applying for? And is the Santa Claus trucker Slim?
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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Thank you very much fr the six stars!
No, Thurmon just stopped in to visit. About what is the readers' guess. Santa Clause was being arrested as in the first alternate ending, but I had his hands over his face so that Clyde's turn of heart what not based on any sort of satisfied revenge.
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Yes, I thought that was good to have his face covered so Clyde wouldn't jump to his emotions.
Comment from Jim Wile
Nah. I liked them both, but the second one more than the first.
I just finished reading both of them and decided to write one review for the entire story. This was really good, Wayne. Very original and thought-provoking. You made me aware of something I never thought too much about--the ways of truck drivers--and it was very interesting.
Clyde was also a fascinating character, and we got to witness something of a transformation from merely a revenge-seeking, devil-may-care highway terrorist, to a thoughtful, practical man who came to his senses and decided to turn his wife's death into a way to help prevent such a tragedy from happening to anyone else but in a more positive way.
In your first ending, he seems to have gotten his just desserts for his terrorist activities and the extreme riskiness of his acts of revenge, while in the second ending, he realizes the best way to improve the situation even further than bringing awareness to the issues is to help the truckers out so they won't be as inclined to make careless and dangerous decisions.
I guess that's why I preferred the second ending--because he took a more positive and constructive approach to solving the problem.
I liked the balance you brought to the story with the Thurmon character, to show us that not all truck drivers are as thoughtless about safety as so many seemed to be. He added a greater realism to the story, and its nice to see a good family man with good values in the mix.
I loved your inventiveness in this story too. I guess I may be partial to clever people with inventive minds, as I seem to write about them a lot too, but I like what I like.
Just a question: I can't quite remember how one of your previous stories ended, but could this be the same Slim that was in that story? I know that I like to revisit old characters in my stories.
All-in-all, a well-written story and a very enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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Nah. I liked them both, but the second one more than the first.
I just finished reading both of them and decided to write one review for the entire story. This was really good, Wayne. Very original and thought-provoking. You made me aware of something I never thought too much about--the ways of truck drivers--and it was very interesting.
Clyde was also a fascinating character, and we got to witness something of a transformation from merely a revenge-seeking, devil-may-care highway terrorist, to a thoughtful, practical man who came to his senses and decided to turn his wife's death into a way to help prevent such a tragedy from happening to anyone else but in a more positive way.
In your first ending, he seems to have gotten his just desserts for his terrorist activities and the extreme riskiness of his acts of revenge, while in the second ending, he realizes the best way to improve the situation even further than bringing awareness to the issues is to help the truckers out so they won't be as inclined to make careless and dangerous decisions.
I guess that's why I preferred the second ending--because he took a more positive and constructive approach to solving the problem.
I liked the balance you brought to the story with the Thurmon character, to show us that not all truck drivers are as thoughtless about safety as so many seemed to be. He added a greater realism to the story, and its nice to see a good family man with good values in the mix.
I loved your inventiveness in this story too. I guess I may be partial to clever people with inventive minds, as I seem to write about them a lot too, but I like what I like.
Just a question: I can't quite remember how one of your previous stories ended, but could this be the same Slim that was in that story? I know that I like to revisit old characters in my stories.
All-in-all, a well-written story and a very enjoyable read.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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Thank you so very much for your heart-warming review.
The Slim of the Ben Persons trilogy was in Colorado. This setting is in Arkansas. But I had that Slim in mind. He's basically the same character but about forty years on.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
This one is way way way better and satisfying. I guess other folks were un happy with him giving up at the end. All is forgiven, here's your six. I am glad you gave him the come to Jesus moment. Karen
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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This one is way way way better and satisfying. I guess other folks were un happy with him giving up at the end. All is forgiven, here's your six. I am glad you gave him the come to Jesus moment. Karen
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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Thank you so much for the six stars! They mean a lot.
And thank you for the very kind review.
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:-)
Comment from Tim Margetts
I like this ending, then again, I have yet to read the other. And what's wrong with having different endings, they even do it in some movies these days.
I enjoy the slice of life your tales bring.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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I like this ending, then again, I have yet to read the other. And what's wrong with having different endings, they even do it in some movies these days.
I enjoy the slice of life your tales bring.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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Thank you very much. I appreciate your take.