Truckin
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Truckin, Ch 14"The left lane is for passing only
9 total reviews
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Aww, I think Clyde is finally grieving his loss of Jane Ann. Sometimes you know a person has passed, but you don't fully accept it until later. He has her alongside him on this final bit of his journey.
This was an action-packed ending, after leading us down the road of belief in a "happy retirement" ending. A full-speed chase followed by an unfortunate end.
I would take out "and died" at the end of that paragraph and end with "lungs full of water". That, plus the fact that he saw Jane Ann, tells us that he died so that you don't have to.
So this is possible ending #1? Curious to see how #2 goes.
Lots of good imagery here, Wayne. Is Thurmon's story finished?
I'll look forward to reading the next, last chapter.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Aww, I think Clyde is finally grieving his loss of Jane Ann. Sometimes you know a person has passed, but you don't fully accept it until later. He has her alongside him on this final bit of his journey.
This was an action-packed ending, after leading us down the road of belief in a "happy retirement" ending. A full-speed chase followed by an unfortunate end.
I would take out "and died" at the end of that paragraph and end with "lungs full of water". That, plus the fact that he saw Jane Ann, tells us that he died so that you don't have to.
So this is possible ending #1? Curious to see how #2 goes.
Lots of good imagery here, Wayne. Is Thurmon's story finished?
I'll look forward to reading the next, last chapter.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 27-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Thank you.
'and died' was over the top. Thanks.
I'm glad this ending worked for you. It's the original.
The alternate is FanStory inspired.
Comment from Wendy G
Oh Wayne! You have killed him! I didn't like him all that much but at least I understood that grief can make a person do crazy things and justify them to himself. I never expected he would die. But perhaps he has completed his mission .... Well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Oh Wayne! You have killed him! I didn't like him all that much but at least I understood that grief can make a person do crazy things and justify them to himself. I never expected he would die. But perhaps he has completed his mission .... Well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 27-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Thank you. Maybe you'll enjoy the alternate ending a bit better.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
That isn't the ending I expected, although he was rejoining the love of his life, so it was not a bad ending. That he improved the driving habits of the nation's truckers was a good thing as long as things don't change back. It is a well-written story but not one I want to see you have published. There are too many crazy people who might model themselves after Clyde.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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That isn't the ending I expected, although he was rejoining the love of his life, so it was not a bad ending. That he improved the driving habits of the nation's truckers was a good thing as long as things don't change back. It is a well-written story but not one I want to see you have published. There are too many crazy people who might model themselves after Clyde.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Thank you. I tried 'not' to write a 'how to' manual. And in today's world, most truckers have dash cameras.
Maybe you will enjoy the alternate ending a bit better.
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Hi Wayne,
That was an awesome chapter. It kept me engaged till the end. Why did he choose to die vs his other options. I would guess this would be the end, but you indicate there is more. I am looking forward to the next chapter. Great job.
Cecilia
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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Hi Wayne,
That was an awesome chapter. It kept me engaged till the end. Why did he choose to die vs his other options. I would guess this would be the end, but you indicate there is more. I am looking forward to the next chapter. Great job.
Cecilia
Comment Written 26-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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Thank you. He knew that he'd been a criminal and would go to jail. And he didn't care to live without his beautiful bride, Jane Ann.
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Aah makes perfect sense. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Cecilia
Comment from lyenochka
Wait, you killed off your main character? Gee, that's such a Tolstoy type of thing to do! I think you should write a travel book because it's obvious that you have experienced all the freeways of the country. Looking forward to your final chapter when I get back.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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Wait, you killed off your main character? Gee, that's such a Tolstoy type of thing to do! I think you should write a travel book because it's obvious that you have experienced all the freeways of the country. Looking forward to your final chapter when I get back.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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Thank you.
I did write a travel book. (of sorts)
I posted the first chapter as a contest entry some time ago.
Comment from jim vecchio
This chapter had to happen, but I'm sorry to see it still. Now Clyde is reunited with his love. Glad to see there is another chapter. Any way you can prolong this is good. I was with you at every point in this story.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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This chapter had to happen, but I'm sorry to see it still. Now Clyde is reunited with his love. Glad to see there is another chapter. Any way you can prolong this is good. I was with you at every point in this story.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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Thank you. I hope (read trust) you will enjoy the next
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If it's your writing, I will.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Huh, well, now you've gone and stumped me. Did he really drown, or are you just setting me up to bring him back in the next chapter. A lot of action to go so peacefully and quick. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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Huh, well, now you've gone and stumped me. Did he really drown, or are you just setting me up to bring him back in the next chapter. A lot of action to go so peacefully and quick. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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And he was dead, as Larry McMurtry described Newt's death.
Thank you for your continued support.
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It's always a pleasure to read and follow along, wherever you mind might take me. :-)
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I really enjoyed reading this latest chapter. Your descriptions of Clyde's chaotic journey had me on the edge of my seat! I loved how you captured his internal struggle. Love the intense moments with the troopers. It's a powerful story that easily kept me engaged. I can't wait to see where you take it next! Keep up the fantastic work!
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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I really enjoyed reading this latest chapter. Your descriptions of Clyde's chaotic journey had me on the edge of my seat! I loved how you captured his internal struggle. Love the intense moments with the troopers. It's a powerful story that easily kept me engaged. I can't wait to see where you take it next! Keep up the fantastic work!
Comment Written 26-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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Thank you very much. I appreciate your support.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
He left his family with debris. Unless he left them letters you did not tell us about. I have worked for days on a suitably horrendous horror story for the contest. Karen
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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He left his family with debris. Unless he left them letters you did not tell us about. I have worked for days on a suitably horrendous horror story for the contest. Karen
Comment Written 26-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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Thank you for your true review.
Yes, Clyde was insensitive to family, totally self-absorbed. Much like many/most wrong-doers.
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You ended it as it should him leaving without hurting others. He did change things. Karen