His Silence
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "His Silence - Chapter 49"Why did a 14 year old boy murder his parents?
8 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This chapter gives a clearer picture of how the sect works by ensnaring people with relationships. I am wondering if there is something in the tea since Danielle notes that Abigail doesn't drink hers. One suggestion: change "He must (be sitting) by his . . ."
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2024
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This chapter gives a clearer picture of how the sect works by ensnaring people with relationships. I am wondering if there is something in the tea since Danielle notes that Abigail doesn't drink hers. One suggestion: change "He must (be sitting) by his . . ."
Comment Written 21-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I like the length of this chapter. Abigail seems the most normal of the other adults in this place so far. But I get that Danielle doesn't want her anchor to be attached to another boat. I am kind of curious, is "Callum" pronounced sort of like Colin?
Little fixes:
He must be sat by his phone or computer the whole time.
I think you mean:
He must be sitting by his phone or computer the whole time.
Sometimes I get a message and it takes me ages to respond.
I would insert a comma after message.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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I like the length of this chapter. Abigail seems the most normal of the other adults in this place so far. But I get that Danielle doesn't want her anchor to be attached to another boat. I am kind of curious, is "Callum" pronounced sort of like Colin?
Little fixes:
He must be sat by his phone or computer the whole time.
I think you mean:
He must be sitting by his phone or computer the whole time.
Sometimes I get a message and it takes me ages to respond.
I would insert a comma after message.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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Thank you, and for the six stars as well. You've made my day. I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
I'm not convinced that Danielle isn't in trouble and I wouldn't think she would want to encourage Collum to like Eve. He didn't really want to be there, but he came to help and protect her to find out about her parents. He is her way out if she decides to leave. Collum is close with his family and I don't think he would want to give them up to live in a commune. I'm looking forward to more.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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I'm not convinced that Danielle isn't in trouble and I wouldn't think she would want to encourage Collum to like Eve. He didn't really want to be there, but he came to help and protect her to find out about her parents. He is her way out if she decides to leave. Collum is close with his family and I don't think he would want to give them up to live in a commune. I'm looking forward to more.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Beth, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
I'm not convinced that Danielle isn't in trouble and I wouldn't think she would want to encourage Collum to like Eve. He didn't really want to be there, but he came to help and protect her to find out about her parents. He is her way out if she decides to leave. Collum is close with his family and I don't think he would want to give them up to live in a commune. I'm looking forward to more.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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I'm not convinced that Danielle isn't in trouble and I wouldn't think she would want to encourage Collum to like Eve. He didn't really want to be there, but he came to help and protect her to find out about her parents. He is her way out if she decides to leave. Collum is close with his family and I don't think he would want to give them up to live in a commune. I'm looking forward to more.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Beth, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I hope Max has some idea where Danielle is. He may be the link to get her and Callum out of there safely. I'm not surprised they want Eve and Callum together. I do hope Callum doesn't fall for this. I really like this story.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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I hope Max has some idea where Danielle is. He may be the link to get her and Callum out of there safely. I'm not surprised they want Eve and Callum together. I do hope Callum doesn't fall for this. I really like this story.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Barbara. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
So, they are trying to get Danielle to play matchmaker between Callum and Eve. Interesting strategy on two levels. One gets Callum vested in the compound and the other drives a wedge between Danielle and Callum.
Getting some information out to Max, but is it being monitored??
Great job,
Keep writing,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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So, they are trying to get Danielle to play matchmaker between Callum and Eve. Interesting strategy on two levels. One gets Callum vested in the compound and the other drives a wedge between Danielle and Callum.
Getting some information out to Max, but is it being monitored??
Great job,
Keep writing,
Rhonda
Comment Written 21-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Rhonda, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
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You're welcome, I did.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
If you ask me (which you don't!) this place is a breeding ground for Oliver's religious sect and Callum is in grave danger of being coerced into a relationship with Eve to produce offspring. What Danielle is being asked is an absolute imposition in this particular context and she should feel suitably warned, as well as just a tiny bit jealous. I like the break with the narrative and the inclusion of the text messages which bring a note of sanity and immediacy into the situation. The story continues to entertain and intrigue. Well done, Jacob! Debbie
with the way (how?) she's developed (I've seen this redundant 'how' before in your writing. It doesn't need to be there at all)
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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If you ask me (which you don't!) this place is a breeding ground for Oliver's religious sect and Callum is in grave danger of being coerced into a relationship with Eve to produce offspring. What Danielle is being asked is an absolute imposition in this particular context and she should feel suitably warned, as well as just a tiny bit jealous. I like the break with the narrative and the inclusion of the text messages which bring a note of sanity and immediacy into the situation. The story continues to entertain and intrigue. Well done, Jacob! Debbie
with the way (how?) she's developed (I've seen this redundant 'how' before in your writing. It doesn't need to be there at all)
Comment Written 21-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Debbie, I'll go through and see if I can get rid of the hows. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Begin Again
And Max is still worried about them and is hoping that's not where Danielle is but of course she is. Then there is Callum. they seem to be deciding his life for him...Like I said...I am still screaming..Get out!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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And Max is still worried about them and is hoping that's not where Danielle is but of course she is. Then there is Callum. they seem to be deciding his life for him...Like I said...I am still screaming..Get out!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 21-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.