Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Excellent

Oh wow, what a cliff-hanger, Jacob. You're starting to make a habit of that! This short chapter is full of a lot. We see the name Grace being used now exclusively, and people talking behind Danielle's back. For the moment, she's hanging onto her identity, but you have to wonder for how long? Also, the passing out stuff isn't good. Much going on here, for sure!!

Take care,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2024

Thank you, Rhonda, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from CrystieCookie999

Excellent

This chapter moves the plot along with references to re-naming Danielle as "Grace." Now the reader is wondering why. Danielle is committed to keeping her own name, though. I noticed a sudden change from third-person point of view to first person point of view with the italicized part here:
Were they discussing me before I came in? Did Isaac think I'd faked passing out last night? A way to fix that might be to say: Danielle thought to herself, Were they discussing me before I came in? Did Isaac think I'd faked passing out last night? Otherwise, the reader is going to think it was Abigail who was thinking that.

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2024

Thank you I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

I don't think she ever thought she would be so uncomfortable at this house, and I don't know how she can stay. I can't guess what she thinks she will find in Oliver's room, but it seems dangerous to intrude. She seems to be forgetting her parents were murdered.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2024

Thank you, Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

I think Danielle is thinging seriously about trying to get away before it becomes impossible. She not at all happy about every calling her Grace. Oliver didn't give her much chance to protest.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2024

Thank you, Beth, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Is Danielle going to get caught. If she does, I fear for her safety. Heck, I fear for her safety every time I read. I really wish she'd get out of there. I am still wondering what's up with Callum.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024

Thank you, Barbara. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

A great hook for your reader! We expect him to be in there but he's a man of mystery so who knows? Danielle's sense of fear and danger are mounting. I like the way she's repeating her name to retain control. Well done, Jacob! Debbie

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024

Thank you, Debbie, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from Kahlani

Excellent

I have not read your prior chapters, but this one has made me ask myself questions: Why is Danielle afraid of Oliver? Why would Mary put a bug on her? Why did Danielle pass out? I guess I'll have to find out.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024

Thank you, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.

Comment from Begin Again

Excellent

Oh dear....now she's going to get brave when she doesn't have Callum as backup and of course, Oliver doesn't miss anything... Get ready for some action! Good chapter, Jacob!
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024

Thank you, Carol. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.