Would I live?
A soldier lays gravely wounded. He prays to God to live.32 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Thanks for sharing the photo, notes, and poem, Richard.
-My dad served for 20 years in the Air Force, and 20
more in the same job in Civil Service. He was
stationed Dover AFB, Delaware and worked on the C-5 planes.
-I am appreciative of anyone who serves their country.
-You are right that the sacrifice of our veterans should never be forgotten.
-You wrote a very good poem with effective imagery and rhyme.
-You also tell a good story, and the emotions of it also come through.
-You capture the feelings of this soldier very well as he faces possible death,
thinking about his wife and their last goodbye.
-But he was lucky he had a good medic attending him.
-There is "power in prayer," and this soldier lived to
hear those special words you share at the end.
-This is very well written and deserving of a win in the contest.
-Most important is showing that you care about our veterans
and what they have gone through over the years.
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-Thanks for sharing the photo, notes, and poem, Richard.
-My dad served for 20 years in the Air Force, and 20
more in the same job in Civil Service. He was
stationed Dover AFB, Delaware and worked on the C-5 planes.
-I am appreciative of anyone who serves their country.
-You are right that the sacrifice of our veterans should never be forgotten.
-You wrote a very good poem with effective imagery and rhyme.
-You also tell a good story, and the emotions of it also come through.
-You capture the feelings of this soldier very well as he faces possible death,
thinking about his wife and their last goodbye.
-But he was lucky he had a good medic attending him.
-There is "power in prayer," and this soldier lived to
hear those special words you share at the end.
-This is very well written and deserving of a win in the contest.
-Most important is showing that you care about our veterans
and what they have gone through over the years.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2024
Comment from Senyai
Hi Richard,
So happy to read your words written well about war. War is hell they say as I can only imagine and so grateful for all that survive and return.
Yes, I will thank all who served and are serving!
Thanks for sharing,
Senyai
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Hi Richard,
So happy to read your words written well about war. War is hell they say as I can only imagine and so grateful for all that survive and return.
Yes, I will thank all who served and are serving!
Thanks for sharing,
Senyai
Comment Written 26-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Senyai, thank you for the kind words. It means the world to me when someone enjoys one of my stories
War is hell!.
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You're most welcome, Richard :-)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. My husband said when things got rough when he was deployed, he would repeat Psalm 23. He said it always gave him comfort. I enjoyed reading and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. My husband said when things got rough when he was deployed, he would repeat Psalm 23. He said it always gave him comfort. I enjoyed reading and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2024
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Barbara thank you so much for your review, Faith has always played a huge roll in my life.
Comment from EeanBlack
But, all we ever hear is an empty "thank you for your service." It's used so often it's up there with "have a blessed day." That's what a guy told me once. I don't like hearing it myself, but, I won't begrudge anyone from doing it. I don't know your heart. You don't know mine. Good writing though.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2024
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But, all we ever hear is an empty "thank you for your service." It's used so often it's up there with "have a blessed day." That's what a guy told me once. I don't like hearing it myself, but, I won't begrudge anyone from doing it. I don't know your heart. You don't know mine. Good writing though.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2024
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I understand stand what you are saying. I am glad you enjoyed the poem.
Comment from Shanbreen
First, a big congratulations on being a grandfather and coming back to life to be with your grandchild. I like this rhyming 'My Faith Poetry', and widh you the best for the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2024
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First, a big congratulations on being a grandfather and coming back to life to be with your grandchild. I like this rhyming 'My Faith Poetry', and widh you the best for the contest.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2024
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Thank you so much for the kind words.
Being a grandfather is the best!!! I get to be a kid again
Comment from Brenda Strauser
What a heartfelt poem. I really enjoyed it. I think about all those soldiers who died to give us freedom. I am so thankful to them. God is the answer for each one of us. Great writing.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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What a heartfelt poem. I really enjoyed it. I think about all those soldiers who died to give us freedom. I am so thankful to them. God is the answer for each one of us. Great writing.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Brenda, I write stories about Vietnam to honor my two brothers that served in Vietnam, the others and the over 58,000 men and women that gave their lives. For my mother's sake I am glad I did not go. She lived through two years of hell. I am not sure she could have made it. I appreciate your kind words. I am a short story writer that rarely tries poetry.
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Richard
First of all. Thanks for your service.
This is a well done free verse which shows the power of prayer and of wanting not to have your last memory to be a sad wife. I am still waiting for the gift of being called Grandma. Maybe soon.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a wonderful rest of the week.
Joan
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Hi Richard
First of all. Thanks for your service.
This is a well done free verse which shows the power of prayer and of wanting not to have your last memory to be a sad wife. I am still waiting for the gift of being called Grandma. Maybe soon.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a wonderful rest of the week.
Joan
Comment Written 24-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Joan, I wrote a reply for your review. Now I cannot find it???
Now doubt I was having a senior moment 😂
Could you let me know if you got it??
Thanks Richard
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You're welcome, Richard. Two ways this could happen. You wrote the reply and forgot to click save. Or you did the review on your phone and the phone didn't save it. Sometimes both these things happen to me.
Joan
P S Just to let you know, I just published a book called 'The Interloper and other stories in prose and poetry' by Joan Pechter, which is available on Amazon.com.
Comment from Barry Penfold
Nicely put together poem. Totally appropriate image and wording good. How frightening it would be to go to war. Thanks for sharing and all the best in the competition. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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Nicely put together poem. Totally appropriate image and wording good. How frightening it would be to go to war. Thanks for sharing and all the best in the competition. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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Barry,
Thank you for the kind words. Especially since I write very few poems. I think anyone can write a story. It takes a person with talent to write poetry. My grandfather and mother were those kind of poeple.
Thank you again.
Comment from Todd Bourgeois
You've captured the appreciation one feels only when they come so close to losing their life. I love the imagery of ignorance and of the anchors we have in life. The whole piece centres around that. Well done. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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You've captured the appreciation one feels only when they come so close to losing their life. I love the imagery of ignorance and of the anchors we have in life. The whole piece centres around that. Well done. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 23-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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Tod, thank you for the kind words. Especially since I rarely write a poem.
I normally write short stories. My thought is any one can write a story.
Not everyone can write a poem. That is why your review means so much to me.
Comment from Daniel Milton Taylor
This is a powerful poem. Thank you for sharing because I would imagine that you had to "relive" that pain in order to write your story. Your life shows that there is definitely power in prayer because God is the one Who answers them. One suggestion I have is for you to possibly align the lengths of your sentences when you're using a rhyming style because the rhythmic flow sometimes gets interrupted when the sentence lengths aren't aligned closely enough. As a Freeverse(non rhyming) poem, I would have easily given you a 5-star review. Your personal story is most definitely a 6-star writing. Take care, Richard
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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This is a powerful poem. Thank you for sharing because I would imagine that you had to "relive" that pain in order to write your story. Your life shows that there is definitely power in prayer because God is the one Who answers them. One suggestion I have is for you to possibly align the lengths of your sentences when you're using a rhyming style because the rhythmic flow sometimes gets interrupted when the sentence lengths aren't aligned closely enough. As a Freeverse(non rhyming) poem, I would have easily given you a 5-star review. Your personal story is most definitely a 6-star writing. Take care, Richard
Comment Written 23-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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Thank you for the kind words. I appreciate that very much.
I especially want to thank you for your suggestions.
Normally I write short stories.
Poetry in my mind is the hardest form of writing. Anyone can write a story. Not everyone can write a poem.
Know you can see why your words mean so much to me.
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I agree that poetry can be challenging because of the rhythmic, almost musical flow that most of them require. I've found that keeping the sentence lengths as equal as possible forces me to create that flow. Many times, I'll change or rearrange my sentences and/or rhyming words if needed to create that flow. When I think I have it I'll read the poem to see if it flows. If it doesn't, I'll keep at the rework. It's part of the challenge of writing that I like. I want to keep my 66-year-old brain as sharp as possible. Lol. When I write non poetry I still work at it until I can read it with a good flow. As I stated before, your poem was great in that the subject matter flowed together perfectly. I just believe some rhythmic changes would top it off. Take care and keep writing.