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Sonnet on Theme of Betrayal

13 total reviews 
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Excellent
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I wish you lived in the United States so that you could vote in the upcoming election. This sonnet speaks the truth about how we have been betrayed by our leaders in Congress and the Supreme Court. I know you are from New Zealand yet you have a vested interest in what happens in my country. Please keep writing about how we differ and how we are the same.
Jesse


 Comment Written 02-Oct-2024

Comment from zanya
Excellent
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A poem that is thought-provoking in its sentiments and expression -worth reflecting upon at the moment -well constructed and delivered - thanks for sharing. Wish I had 6 remaining.

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2024

Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
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This is a fine sonnet in perfect form. You have successfully delivered a brief history of immigration in the US until the arrival of Trump. I think you give him too much credit as this movement started long before his arrival and it will continue long after he is gone.

Just one suggestion here:

Then huddled masses, fled from distant shore, - should have an article before distant, but in order to maintain the sonnet metre it could be written: Then huddled masses from a distant shore,

Wishing you great luck with the voters. You give us much to think about. :)

Gloria

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2024

Comment from humpwhistle
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You're American enough for me, Steve. Our republic is facing the biggest threat since the cannon spat grapes at Fort Sumpter, South Carolina. All because one unlikely bag of fetid wind became the champion of the very people he dispices. Yes, it's time to turn the page.

I hope you and your family are well, Steve.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2024

Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
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Hi Steve,
This is a good poem. It reminds my, sadly, of Donald Trump. I hope that is who you are talking about. I think he should be tried for treason.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a tremendous week
Joan
P S I just published a book called The Interloper and other stories in prose and poetry by Joan Pechter. Maybe we can buy each other's books. Can you tell me how to add a link to my book in my profile?

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2024

Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Thank you for sharing this Betrayal Poetry Contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading. I think I just saw in the news a few days ago, that Poland has closed its borders to immigration. I think that brings the total to almost 348. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2024

Comment from gansach
Excellent
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This is a great entry for the Betrayal Poetry competition. In reading these entries, it's interesting to see how the "same" betrayal is portrayed from both sides. I admire your challenge to voice this betrayal while not being an American and think you have done an admirable job of it. I also like the inclusion of Lazarus' poem in your Author Notes. I remember singing her words in a choir song by Irving Berlin when I was in school. Nicely done!

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2024

Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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A well written, rhymed and metered sonnet Steve, America is in trouble just now and no one wants the top job and so they are down to a couple of dodgy personalities to choose from. I always base my vote on party policy rather than personalities, but I know that personalities are important to the Americans, I enjoyed your powerful post Steve, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2024

Comment from mermaids
Excellent
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This is a wonderful poem that gives the reader much to think about. "Betrayed our nation, tore convention down" is a powerful use of words that shows the importance of the need of a good leader. Excellent use of words and a smooth poetic flow of lines.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2024

Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-Good artwork and nice presentation, Steve.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-You wrote a very good sonnet.
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-A very good opening verse,
followed by excellent description
of these heroes and how they
did so much to establish this
"rugged countryside."
-I like the inclusion of "huddled masses"
and the alliteration with "toil and tears."
-An excellent volta and I agree with your assessment in it.
-A very good closing couplet, and let's hope the
page gets turned to a new beginning.
-Very well done, and thanks for caring about America.
-Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2024