Sweater Weather
A Haiku 5/7/510 total reviews
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the Write a Pictureless Haiku. This is a beautifully descriptive piece that puts our mindset into the cool evenings of autumn. Thanks for sharing
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An excellent entry for the Write a Pictureless Haiku. This is a beautifully descriptive piece that puts our mindset into the cool evenings of autumn. Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hey Jess!
Yep, your ability to pack your poetry densely with meaning serves you well with a short poem, as I knew it would. You rely well on personification--a "chill seeps" and the "autumn breathes"--as the main feature of this Haiku. Very good!
Patrick
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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Hey Jess!
Yep, your ability to pack your poetry densely with meaning serves you well with a short poem, as I knew it would. You rely well on personification--a "chill seeps" and the "autumn breathes"--as the main feature of this Haiku. Very good!
Patrick
Comment Written 19-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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Thank you so much, Patrick! Xo
Comment from June Sargent
Actually, autumn and I breathe again as cooler temps and fresh breezes remove summer allergens from the air. I do enjoy the sound of rustling leaves. Nice entry for the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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Actually, autumn and I breathe again as cooler temps and fresh breezes remove summer allergens from the air. I do enjoy the sound of rustling leaves. Nice entry for the contest.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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June, I can totally relate!! Xo
Comment from jaded831
You created a feel as well as a picture. In my mind I pictured a couple by the fireplace trying to get the autumn chill off. It takes real talent to create such a picture with words. Well done.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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You created a feel as well as a picture. In my mind I pictured a couple by the fireplace trying to get the autumn chill off. It takes real talent to create such a picture with words. Well done.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much!
Comment from gangreen
I like how a chill is the breath of Autumn giving the poem an organic feel in that Autumn is alive. Seeps implies passage of time and movement.This is a very succinct poem with great economy of words.Poem meets requirements of a Haiku.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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I like how a chill is the breath of Autumn giving the poem an organic feel in that Autumn is alive. Seeps implies passage of time and movement.This is a very succinct poem with great economy of words.Poem meets requirements of a Haiku.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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Thank you for your insightful review!
Xo
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Thanks,glad to be of help.
Comment from jessizero
I think this is a great haiku for the "pictureless haiku" contest. I like that you let the words speak for themselves. Your last line was lovely. You got the syllable count right, as well. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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I think this is a great haiku for the "pictureless haiku" contest. I like that you let the words speak for themselves. Your last line was lovely. You got the syllable count right, as well. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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Thank you Jessi! Xo
Comment from Begin Again
Don't mind the sweater weather with the blowing leaves of color and the promises of autumn, but what follows...that I'm in no hurry to see. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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Don't mind the sweater weather with the blowing leaves of color and the promises of autumn, but what follows...that I'm in no hurry to see. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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Thank you Carol! Xo
Comment from Sally Law
The perfect time of year for me because I collect sweaters. I love them and can't wait for autumn to throw one on ... Or two! A delightfully told haiku poem with no pic allowed per the prompt. Sending along my very best today as always and best wishes for the vote.
Sally Law :))
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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The perfect time of year for me because I collect sweaters. I love them and can't wait for autumn to throw one on ... Or two! A delightfully told haiku poem with no pic allowed per the prompt. Sending along my very best today as always and best wishes for the vote.
Sally Law :))
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Thank you so much, Sally!
Xo
Comment from zanya
Yes this works well for the pictureless nature Haiku inviting the reader to feel again the chills that the season oF Autumn invariably brings - effective as every word counts.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Yes this works well for the pictureless nature Haiku inviting the reader to feel again the chills that the season oF Autumn invariably brings - effective as every word counts.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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I appreciate that so much, thank you!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is a true haiku! It has the nature going on, the time frame (September, which I think I would capitalize) and the satori moment. Nice suggestion of personification for Autumn breathing, too. (I capitalized Autumn, but I am not sure if Japanese would have the seasons capitalized, if you are going for a very Japanese feel).
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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This is a true haiku! It has the nature going on, the time frame (September, which I think I would capitalize) and the satori moment. Nice suggestion of personification for Autumn breathing, too. (I capitalized Autumn, but I am not sure if Japanese would have the seasons capitalized, if you are going for a very Japanese feel).
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Thank you crystie, I appreciate the feedback! I'll make that edit.