Honeymoon Nightmare
When the groom goes missing18 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
I think this is a very good opening for a horror/ thriller story or movie. You have a solid hook ending where the reader is confronted with a mystery of who or what is coming out of the closet.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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I think this is a very good opening for a horror/ thriller story or movie. You have a solid hook ending where the reader is confronted with a mystery of who or what is coming out of the closet.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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Thanks so much for your comments on my post. It's generally out of my genre but I managed a paragraph. I'm not sure that I could write a whole book that way. Appreciate the review and your comments.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Thesis
Great opening paragraph. It has mystery, intrigue, and a little bit of horror in there. You certainly hit the mark on making me want to continue reading. Good job.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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Great opening paragraph. It has mystery, intrigue, and a little bit of horror in there. You certainly hit the mark on making me want to continue reading. Good job.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and offering the kind review. I appreciate your time and comments.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from NANCY V. FORREST
This certainly fits the bill for a scary piece that grabs the attention and holds the suspense to the end. And leaves one waiting and wondering who or what is in the closet. Shivery.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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This certainly fits the bill for a scary piece that grabs the attention and holds the suspense to the end. And leaves one waiting and wondering who or what is in the closet. Shivery.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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Wow! I never anticipated a six for this story, but I am very grateful for your comments and time. It's out of my genre to write, but one never knows when they step out of the box. Thank you so much.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Natureschild
This paragraph definitely has a successful hook. You quickly set the scene, which kept me glued to the screen. It moves quickly through the terrifying events, from the bloody footsteps to the climax. Nice imagery like 'bloody footsteps' on white snow is echoed in the bride's' red hair', which I imagined on white sheets. Nicely done! - Terry
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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This paragraph definitely has a successful hook. You quickly set the scene, which kept me glued to the screen. It moves quickly through the terrifying events, from the bloody footsteps to the climax. Nice imagery like 'bloody footsteps' on white snow is echoed in the bride's' red hair', which I imagined on white sheets. Nicely done! - Terry
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Wow! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying this short paragraph. It's totally out of my norm, but what the heck, you have to try and grab a new brass ring every now and then. Appreciate your thoughts and the stars. Thank you!
Comment from Wendy G
Well, that is very dramatic and full of suspense and tension! Certainly a compelling beginning, and the writing is excellent. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Well, that is very dramatic and full of suspense and tension! Certainly a compelling beginning, and the writing is excellent. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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It's not my style but I was asked to give it a try...so now that's done and I can move forward to something a little on the gentlier side. lol thanks for the review and comment. Have a great day!
Comment from Esther Brown
Grumble. That is not fair! Definitely an effective teaser to a story I need to hear. I hope you continue the story and do very well in the contest! Normally blood curdling screams and bloody footsteps would be too much in one thought but it is effective here. Esther
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Grumble. That is not fair! Definitely an effective teaser to a story I need to hear. I hope you continue the story and do very well in the contest! Normally blood curdling screams and bloody footsteps would be too much in one thought but it is effective here. Esther
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Of course, you would want me to dig deeper into this horrifying event and come out dripping with blood and a mystery too dark to even explain. Thanks for the golden stars and all your encouragement. Have a great day!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Good and creepy. I love it. You don't give any answers so my fevered brain goes to lots of awful scenarios. You are so good at that. You are so talented, but sweetheart, you keep forgetting to give kudos to where the picture comes from. Put a tiny post it on the computer. That was what I had to do until it became a habit. Love you, Karen
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Good and creepy. I love it. You don't give any answers so my fevered brain goes to lots of awful scenarios. You are so good at that. You are so talented, but sweetheart, you keep forgetting to give kudos to where the picture comes from. Put a tiny post it on the computer. That was what I had to do until it became a habit. Love you, Karen
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Almost scared myself to death writing it. LOL I was wondering...those bloody footsteps and the husband missing...you didn't have anything to do with that, did you? LOL Have a great day!
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This was just delicious. I loved it. The door slowly c freaking open after the locked the door.:-)
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Chills!
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:-)
Comment from joann r romei
This was great, the writing was detailed and I certainly wanted to hear more, you did an excellent job with the prompt, and maybe you will continue this,
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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This was great, the writing was detailed and I certainly wanted to hear more, you did an excellent job with the prompt, and maybe you will continue this,
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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thank you so much for reading my entry and I appreciate the kind review. Have a wonderful day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, you certainly drew me in, created interest, and pulled my strings as if I was a marionette. Then, you cut everything short and left me wishing there was more. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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Well, you certainly drew me in, created interest, and pulled my strings as if I was a marionette. Then, you cut everything short and left me wishing there was more. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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You are so welcome! Scratching my nails on chalkboard and sending chills down your spine couldn't be better! LOL though I can't imagine you ever being a marionette. Thanks for reading my moment of gore. Have a great day!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Well your opening line certainly enticed me to keep reading. You set the dramatic story with your opening words and keep the terror going until -the closet door creaked open. Well done and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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Well your opening line certainly enticed me to keep reading. You set the dramatic story with your opening words and keep the terror going until -the closet door creaked open. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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thank you, Pearl. I'm not too much into the creepy stuff but it was fun to write a paragraph now and then. Appreciate the review. Have a great day!
