Body of a Horse, Heart of a Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "White Lightning"A modern twist on Greek Mythology.
16 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
That is a lovely picture of the filly and a rather sad story. Parents have been doing the same thing to their daughters for a long time and even today some girls are still used as political chattel. Diantha and Cassie have a wonderful friendship that may save Diantha from a life of misery.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
  |
That is a lovely picture of the filly and a rather sad story. Parents have been doing the same thing to their daughters for a long time and even today some girls are still used as political chattel. Diantha and Cassie have a wonderful friendship that may save Diantha from a life of misery.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
-
Hi Carol, I already responded to this once, but it seems they sometimes don't go through. If it doesn't this time, I'll send you a PM.
Thank you so very much for catching this chapter and leaving your comments. Both are deeply appreciated.
Take care,
Rhonda
-
Yes, I received this now, apparently the second time. This is a very thought-provoking story as I dreamed about it.
-
I'm glad it went through. I tried once 3 or 4 times and it never went through, so I gave up and just pm'd them.
I'm glad it was thought provoking, and you're right, though it isn't as common these days, people did use girls a lot just as pawns as they were considered disposable.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
That's quite an exchange between Diantha and Cassie. I think Cassie
should be the lead role. She appears to be a stronger person with more personality, but it's early, so much could change.
The transition to this chapter could be a bit smoother. The likely connection with the horse White Lightning, and Phoebus, the horse trainer turned Centaur in the past, should work well.
It'll be interesting to see how it all develops.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
 |
Hello Rhonda,
That's quite an exchange between Diantha and Cassie. I think Cassie
should be the lead role. She appears to be a stronger person with more personality, but it's early, so much could change.
The transition to this chapter could be a bit smoother. The likely connection with the horse White Lightning, and Phoebus, the horse trainer turned Centaur in the past, should work well.
It'll be interesting to see how it all develops.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
-
Hi Robert, thank you for the six stars, and for your comments.
The idea was for the first chapters to be part of a prologue, then the story begins. The two stories are about to resolve, either the next chapter of the next, depending on how long the chapter goes. I think I'll go ahead and write one even if no one else reads it as most people already have.
Oh, and Cassie won't be back until the end of the book. Diantha will grow as a character during the book and will find her inner voice. I needed to set up a contrast. When a person is always given everything they want, they never discover what's inside. I think I'll add that into the next chapter.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from Ric Myworld
As an old Kentucky boy who breed and raced thoroughbred horses my whole life, you've definitely caught my interest in this story where bloodlines seem to play a big part. With the horses, and the people.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
|
As an old Kentucky boy who breed and raced thoroughbred horses my whole life, you've definitely caught my interest in this story where bloodlines seem to play a big part. With the horses, and the people.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
-
Rick, I hope you know you just shot up in my personal admiration of you. As you can tell, I love horses, and now to know you raised them your whole life, and in Kentucky!!! Wow!!! My hero!!!
There will be a lot about horses in this book. They made an appearance in the last one, but this one will have much more.
Thank you so much for the review. I may be calling on you for advice.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from lyenochka
So is this related to the previous chapter? I wonder if this filly is some descendant of Phoebus, the one turned into a centaur by Zeus? It sounds that Cassie is right but Diantha isn't able to stand up for herself.
Questions:
We're calling her White Lightening." (Lightning?)
"She goes to collect studying pediatrics." Why collect?
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
|
So is this related to the previous chapter? I wonder if this filly is some descendant of Phoebus, the one turned into a centaur by Zeus? It sounds that Cassie is right but Diantha isn't able to stand up for herself.
Questions:
We're calling her White Lightening." (Lightning?)
"She goes to collect studying pediatrics." Why collect?
Comment Written 16-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
-
Hi Helen,
Thanks for the review. It will all come together soon. Diantha has a journey to make, just like Echo did.
I thought I had fixed all the Lightening issues, lol. I do it without thinking and I don't know why.
I have no idea on the second part. Sounds like an edit gone wrong. Thanks for finding them for me.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Hi Rhonda, I'm looking forward to seeing how you're going to knit it all together. At the moment I can't quite see it, but I know you will make it all clearer. A hug, Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
|
Hi Rhonda, I'm looking forward to seeing how you're going to knit it all together. At the moment I can't quite see it, but I know you will make it all clearer. A hug, Ulla xxx
Comment Written 16-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
-
I will, and pretty quickly. The world will soon come crashing together, lol, stay turned!!
Comment from Jacob1395
You did an excellent job with the dialogue in this piece between Diantha and Cassie and I could feel the friendship and the love they clearly have for each other in your writing. Another excellent piece, Rhonda, I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
|
You did an excellent job with the dialogue in this piece between Diantha and Cassie and I could feel the friendship and the love they clearly have for each other in your writing. Another excellent piece, Rhonda, I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
-
Jacob, thank you so much for reading and leaving comments. I'm glad the emotion came through. It will be back to the fantasy soon!!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
At first when I started reading this, I was confused what happened to-the other story. But I think I understand now that the two will combine after today? Anyway, that is so cool as I forgot that the gods story is modern day. So I have a pretty good idea what is going to happen. Especially since Wilbur, I mean Wilson is kind of a nerd and since Cassie doesn't like him. So I drive Glen crazy with this cause I am always guessing. So I am excited what you have in store for next week. This is so great without Sally doing stories anymore, I am glad that I got in on this one right away. I love it so far. Thanks for another great chapter. I can't wait till next Sunday. Love, Debi
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
|
At first when I started reading this, I was confused what happened to-the other story. But I think I understand now that the two will combine after today? Anyway, that is so cool as I forgot that the gods story is modern day. So I have a pretty good idea what is going to happen. Especially since Wilbur, I mean Wilson is kind of a nerd and since Cassie doesn't like him. So I drive Glen crazy with this cause I am always guessing. So I am excited what you have in store for next week. This is so great without Sally doing stories anymore, I am glad that I got in on this one right away. I love it so far. Thanks for another great chapter. I can't wait till next Sunday. Love, Debi
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
-
Hi Debi,
Thanks so much for the sparkling 6 stars!! I appreciate the time and effort it must take you to write and review right now.
There will be at least one more chapter before the two worlds collide. I probably need to clarify that in the author's notes.
Thanks again,
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from Pam (respa)
You did a good job with the story, Rhonda, but you surprised me with the direction it took. I don't know if you like this idea or not, but shouldn't there be some transition from the previous chapter? I don't know if these two are going to be the main characters, or maybe you plan stories around various characters with family issues.
I like how you developed the friendship between these two, and how Cassie is trying to make her point about how Diantha is being swayed by parents to make a huge decision about her life. She would do well to listen to her friend, but I don't think that is happening.
As I went back and skimmed a little in the story, and re-read Diantha's answer to Cassie's question about becoming a nurse, it would be helpful to know why Diantha feels this way about herself.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
|
You did a good job with the story, Rhonda, but you surprised me with the direction it took. I don't know if you like this idea or not, but shouldn't there be some transition from the previous chapter? I don't know if these two are going to be the main characters, or maybe you plan stories around various characters with family issues.
I like how you developed the friendship between these two, and how Cassie is trying to make her point about how Diantha is being swayed by parents to make a huge decision about her life. She would do well to listen to her friend, but I don't think that is happening.
As I went back and skimmed a little in the story, and re-read Diantha's answer to Cassie's question about becoming a nurse, it would be helpful to know why Diantha feels this way about herself.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
-
Hi Pam,
Thank you for the six stars and for pointing out the parts of the chapter that don't quite make sense. I do think I need to clean it up a bit. I had more detail in, but it was so long I cut a lot out. I need to put some back in.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
-
You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. The main thing is a segue from the previous chapter to this one.
Comment from royowen
Girls seem to be more commonly lovers of horses, and it seems that Diantha and Cassie are good friends, but there is a chapter ending that says, things may not be as good as they are forever. I never enjoyed horse riding after I saw a friend dragged along in the stirrup, beautifully written Rhonda, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
|
Girls seem to be more commonly lovers of horses, and it seems that Diantha and Cassie are good friends, but there is a chapter ending that says, things may not be as good as they are forever. I never enjoyed horse riding after I saw a friend dragged along in the stirrup, beautifully written Rhonda, blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
-
Hi Roy,
Thank you so much for the review, Roy. That's awful about your friend getting dragged. Eeeek!!
Thanks for dropping in,
Rhonda
-
He lived
-
Oh good!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I can't wait to see how you marry these two up, Phoebus and Diantha, and will Cassie stay with her when their lives are turned upside down!!! This is so different from your usual, and I'm really looking forward to reading more. Don't forget, if I miss one, I will catch up. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
|
I can't wait to see how you marry these two up, Phoebus and Diantha, and will Cassie stay with her when their lives are turned upside down!!! This is so different from your usual, and I'm really looking forward to reading more. Don't forget, if I miss one, I will catch up. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
-
Hi Sandra,
Thanks so much for the six stars and comments. It's actually going to get back in my realm. I started the last book in the outside as well, and there was danger. Danger is about to arrive and you'll see why, and then the two worlds will collide again.
Thanks again, love and hugs back,
Rhonda
Oh, and good to see you!!!