Weird Winter
strange snowfall8 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
This sounds like the start of a fantasy book, and the unusual sight makes the reader stop and relect as to the how and why as well as about the meanng and significance. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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This sounds like the start of a fantasy book, and the unusual sight makes the reader stop and relect as to the how and why as well as about the meanng and significance. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Thank you so much!
Comment from jessizero
You did a good job with that first sentence, and you followed it up with an equally intriguing first paragraph. You definitely made me want to find out what happens next. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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You did a good job with that first sentence, and you followed it up with an equally intriguing first paragraph. You definitely made me want to find out what happens next. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2024
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Begin Again
Neon green snowflakes--yes, that would definitely rouse curiosity. There are so many questions, but how do you find the answers? Well done? My idea: Stay inside and let someone else find out what they are.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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Neon green snowflakes--yes, that would definitely rouse curiosity. There are so many questions, but how do you find the answers? Well done? My idea: Stay inside and let someone else find out what they are.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
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Good thing it's only for a first paragraph because I haven't a clue why they're green-LOL! Thanks so much!
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, now that is an eerie opening line. It is one the fills the mind of the reader with questions and they try to solve the mystery of what this green snow-like substance is. Perhaps it is toxic. Good entry. And Nice touch with the green font.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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Hmm, now that is an eerie opening line. It is one the fills the mind of the reader with questions and they try to solve the mystery of what this green snow-like substance is. Perhaps it is toxic. Good entry. And Nice touch with the green font.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much!
Comment from RodG
I like this sketch. It's creepy and makes me edgy, knowing something like this is possible. But the pace is S-L-O-W. Your first sentence is way too long, thus dragging us into the story. I'd break it into three sentences. Read your story aloud and LISTEN. What words can be trimmed to pick up the pace?
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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I like this sketch. It's creepy and makes me edgy, knowing something like this is possible. But the pace is S-L-O-W. Your first sentence is way too long, thus dragging us into the story. I'd break it into three sentences. Read your story aloud and LISTEN. What words can be trimmed to pick up the pace?
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Thank you for the critique and suggestions. I did make some changes. I appreciate it.
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Much, much better! I changed my rating and gave you 5 stars.
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Thank you so much!
Comment from royowen
I think you've fulfilled the requirements and conditions of the contest rather well, not that I would try this story, words form in my mind, almost unbidden, beautifully written, a great post, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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I think you've fulfilled the requirements and conditions of the contest rather well, not that I would try this story, words form in my mind, almost unbidden, beautifully written, a great post, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Thank you so much!
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Welcome
Comment from zanya
This is a good opening paragraph with a 'hook' to draw the reader into the ensuing action and fits the fantasy genre - the detail in the color description adds to the mystery.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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This is a good opening paragraph with a 'hook' to draw the reader into the ensuing action and fits the fantasy genre - the detail in the color description adds to the mystery.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Brenda Strauser
I like this story. Very imaginative as I read the first sentence. I wanted to keep reading. Very good writing. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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I like this story. Very imaginative as I read the first sentence. I wanted to keep reading. Very good writing. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2024
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Thank you so much!
