Sound of Flapping Wings
An Imayo poem for the Japanese Club11 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Thank you for participating in the Japanese Poetry Club IMAYO POEM event. It is a great entry with a good syllable count and connection between lines. Beautiful presentation and imagery. It's a little sad.
Good job,
Gypsy
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Thank you for participating in the Japanese Poetry Club IMAYO POEM event. It is a great entry with a good syllable count and connection between lines. Beautiful presentation and imagery. It's a little sad.
Good job,
Gypsy
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
Comment from karenina
Twelve syllables each line... I counted! More than that, your words were well chosen. Each one carrying the weight of the theme. This presents as Japanese, and that adds to the enjoyment. I might have gone with a different colored font as the red-crowned cranes and image seemed to be
a bit overshadowed by the orange. I imagine that was selected to bring forth the image of fire?
Karenina
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Twelve syllables each line... I counted! More than that, your words were well chosen. Each one carrying the weight of the theme. This presents as Japanese, and that adds to the enjoyment. I might have gone with a different colored font as the red-crowned cranes and image seemed to be
a bit overshadowed by the orange. I imagine that was selected to bring forth the image of fire?
Karenina
Comment Written 13-Sep-2024
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I never hear the sound of flapping wings as most of the birds in my town are small, but your descriptions brought the scene to life here June, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
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I never hear the sound of flapping wings as most of the birds in my town are small, but your descriptions brought the scene to life here June, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
Comment from Sugarray77
I am unfamiliar with this form, June. I see it as descriptive, it almost appears as if it is a paragraph. It really is well written comparing the end of summer to the red-crowned cranes' disappearance. Heartbreaking and poignant. Well done.
Melissa
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2024
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I am unfamiliar with this form, June. I see it as descriptive, it almost appears as if it is a paragraph. It really is well written comparing the end of summer to the red-crowned cranes' disappearance. Heartbreaking and poignant. Well done.
Melissa
Comment Written 11-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2024
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I'm glad you enjoyed this Japanese form. By the way, congrats on winning the haiku contest! It was original!
Comment from Debbie Pope
This seems to be a perfect imayo poem. I counted the syllables and they are correct. More than that though, it sounds so oriental. Words like winds of wanderlust create that tragic mood.
You did a nice job. Your images are tragic but beautiful.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2024
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This seems to be a perfect imayo poem. I counted the syllables and they are correct. More than that though, it sounds so oriental. Words like winds of wanderlust create that tragic mood.
You did a nice job. Your images are tragic but beautiful.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2024
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This was a bittersweet one on changing seasons and changing emotions. Thank you for sharing your insights. Much appreciated.
Comment from patcelaw
This is nicely written for the club event and I wish you the very best with all of your writing also wish you a very good week and may God bless you and keep you safe. Patricia
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This is nicely written for the club event and I wish you the very best with all of your writing also wish you a very good week and may God bless you and keep you safe. Patricia
Comment Written 11-Sep-2024
Comment from lyenochka
That's so sad. I like how you picked out the red theme of the picture from the "red-crowned cranes" to "fire". But unlike the marital loyalty of the cranes, apparently the addressee could not remain in love.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2024
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That's so sad. I like how you picked out the red theme of the picture from the "red-crowned cranes" to "fire". But unlike the marital loyalty of the cranes, apparently the addressee could not remain in love.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2024
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This was a bittersweet one on changing seasons and changing emotions. Thank you for sharing your insights. Much appreciated.
Comment from royowen
Absolutely true that sometimes the weather changes very quickly, and certainly the seasons linger as if reluctant to secede to the change as well, this is beautifully written June, blessings Roy
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Absolutely true that sometimes the weather changes very quickly, and certainly the seasons linger as if reluctant to secede to the change as well, this is beautifully written June, blessings Roy
Comment Written 10-Sep-2024
Comment from Begin Again
I am a dunce when it comes to speaking of poetry and I apologize. I can read and understand, or feel the words, but knowing if that's the author's interpretation or if it's written as the rules call for is out of my line. I do see the grief and understand the loss as the season ends and so does the once burning love.
smiles, Carol
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I am a dunce when it comes to speaking of poetry and I apologize. I can read and understand, or feel the words, but knowing if that's the author's interpretation or if it's written as the rules call for is out of my line. I do see the grief and understand the loss as the season ends and so does the once burning love.
smiles, Carol
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2024
Comment from papa55mike
In Tennessee, it's when the Crows arrive and we hear their cackles in the fields. I love to read stuff from the many clubs on this site. Excellent work! What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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In Tennessee, it's when the Crows arrive and we hear their cackles in the fields. I love to read stuff from the many clubs on this site. Excellent work! What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 10-Sep-2024
