Reviews from

Deal

5-7-5 Poem

28 total reviews 
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well done, for this is a true to life scenario, unfortunately far too common. Covering the bruises and loving him are unfortunately enabling the abuse to continue in a vicious cycle. Best wishes for your entry in the three line poem contest.
Wendy

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Wendy.
    Yes, it is sad and far too common.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve
Comment from Boogienights
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I really like this shoort poem, but I wonder how to interpret it. Is this an abused child? Is it just the father involved . Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but it's a powerful piece.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Boogie, thanks for the review and for considering various interpretations. Really I just wanted to portray an abusive relationship and the sad situation where it may be continued.

    Steve
Comment from mermaids
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

There is emotion and feelings in your words and your poem is true to life. Excellent use of words to tell a tale that unfortunately is too common and has a bad ending. Best wishes for the contest.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thank you.
    Yes, it is sad and far too common.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve
Comment from Katiemae1977
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a powerful write about abuse...until next time is what I'm thinking. Then another apology? It's a merry go round girl. Get off while you can
Ascan abuse victim I can relate.
Nicely laid out Steve and an excellent use of the form.
Good luck!
Katiemae1977

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Drusilla, for the thoughtful reading and relating it to your own experience.
    Yes, it is sad and far too common.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve
Comment from humpwhistle
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Now, that's telling a real story in just a few words. Sure, it meets 5-7-5 criteria, this is a story if I ever read one. Nice job, Steve. That last line kicked the air out of me.

Good luck.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Lee, thanks for the review and the extra star.

    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a powerful 5-7-5 poem Steve showing the initial abuse that is overlooked in the belief that the bruises are overlooked because he still professes love. Good luck in the contest.
Valda

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Valda.
    Yes, it is sad and far too common.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Forgiveness is such a precious gift, and even more so when one chooses to remove the offence to a distant place never again to be raised from the dead. Beautifully written, Steve, good luck, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Roy.
    You may have missed the main message here that seeking forgiveness with no real intention of changing behaviour is merely a pathway to further abuse of trust.
    Steve
Comment from ESOSTINE
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is very heart warming. When lovers find ground to forgive and reconcile, Heaven rejoices. Thanks for sharing your inspiration. Well done, dear kiwisteveh, and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks for your kind words and the extra star.

    Steve
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is so true of abuse where the craving for love can be so strong that it completely masks the unloving behavior of the abuser. It reminds me of the Stockholm syndrome in which survivors of abuse form a strong bond with their captor as though the latter were a parent figure. The impact from your 3 line verse is a powerful one for me because I find violence of this kind absolutely contemptible. Well done and good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Debbie.
    Yes, it is sad and far too common.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve
Comment from GWHARGIS
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ugh. Too often people think that the term love is pain is an excuse for abuse. This was probably very recognizable to those who live with abusers. Some feel lucky the abuser wants them still. They feel unworthy of love. Sad but true poem. Gretchen

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
    Thanks, Gretchen. You nailed it.
    Yes, it is sad and far too common.
    Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!

    Steve