His Silence
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "His Silence - Chapter Thirteen"Why did a 14 year old boy murder his parents?
9 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
Jacob, this was a heart-pounding scene. I suppose Thomas's beating will show the rest of the inmates that Harvey isn't weak. Great chapter, my friend.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
  |
Jacob, this was a heart-pounding scene. I suppose Thomas's beating will show the rest of the inmates that Harvey isn't weak. Great chapter, my friend.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2024
-
Thank you, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
-
My pleasure, Jacob.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Harvey seems to have the capacity to kill even twenty years after he killed his parents. He held the rage in when his sister was hitting him. His cell mate was a fool. Good writing to make his rage believable.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
|
Harvey seems to have the capacity to kill even twenty years after he killed his parents. He held the rage in when his sister was hitting him. His cell mate was a fool. Good writing to make his rage believable.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This really was building up to the inevitable outburst and here we see a lot of detail about Harvey's state of mind and general instability. He clearly doesn't want strangers asking questions and this isn't going to help his passage through the prison system. It's interesting that his response to irritation mimics that of Danielle, as though they both must have experienced being victims of violence themselves in their early lives. Once again, an excellent, thoroughly engaging chapter in which you capture the tensions of prison life with skill. Take care Debbie
Just (tryna?) be friendly, is all
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
|
This really was building up to the inevitable outburst and here we see a lot of detail about Harvey's state of mind and general instability. He clearly doesn't want strangers asking questions and this isn't going to help his passage through the prison system. It's interesting that his response to irritation mimics that of Danielle, as though they both must have experienced being victims of violence themselves in their early lives. Once again, an excellent, thoroughly engaging chapter in which you capture the tensions of prison life with skill. Take care Debbie
Just (tryna?) be friendly, is all
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Debbie, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I was not at all expecting this. I sure would like to know what makes Harvey react the way he does. There's something there that we, as of right now, have no clue about. I can't wait to read more.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
|
I was not at all expecting this. I sure would like to know what makes Harvey react the way he does. There's something there that we, as of right now, have no clue about. I can't wait to read more.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Barbara, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
You have a tendency to use extensively indirect objects, e.g.
him keeps him going, urging him on; telling him to finish him off. > too many 'hims'
This is confusing to the reader, and makes the text drag. It would be preferable if you could limit this by giving names. > him. keeps him going, urging Harvey on; telling him to finish Thomas off.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
|
You have a tendency to use extensively indirect objects, e.g.
him keeps him going, urging him on; telling him to finish him off. > too many 'hims'
This is confusing to the reader, and makes the text drag. It would be preferable if you could limit this by giving names. > him. keeps him going, urging Harvey on; telling him to finish Thomas off.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
-
Thank you, I'll have a look at changing that.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Oh my gosh, you've really ramped up the intensity. You were right to have him fight back, though, because the others would lose respect for him otherwise. Best to put the questioning to a stop right away.
You have an engaging style, and great at building up curiosity and suspense.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
|
Oh my gosh, you've really ramped up the intensity. You were right to have him fight back, though, because the others would lose respect for him otherwise. Best to put the questioning to a stop right away.
You have an engaging style, and great at building up curiosity and suspense.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Rhonda, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
-
It's unique and interesting!!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Nicely done! This chapter captures the intense and volatile nature of Harvey's situation, with a raw portrayal of his emotions. . I appreciate the way you convey Harvey's internal struggle. The dialogue and descriptions work together so well. You do a great job of sharing the chaotic environment of the prison.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
|
Nicely done! This chapter captures the intense and volatile nature of Harvey's situation, with a raw portrayal of his emotions. . I appreciate the way you convey Harvey's internal struggle. The dialogue and descriptions work together so well. You do a great job of sharing the chaotic environment of the prison.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Michael, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
He reaction to being questioned just deepens the mystery surrounding what happened and why. I pretty sure they parents had decided to do something with the children that would no longer allow them be be a part of the group. I'm anxious to find out more.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
|
He reaction to being questioned just deepens the mystery surrounding what happened and why. I pretty sure they parents had decided to do something with the children that would no longer allow them be be a part of the group. I'm anxious to find out more.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Beth, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Begin Again
Well, now he's gone and messed up. What's he hiding and why would he risk being tossed in solitare for something so trivial? He's a strange man... And I know you aren't going to give me any clues so I shall wait to see how it unfolds.
Great job, Jacob!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
|
Well, now he's gone and messed up. What's he hiding and why would he risk being tossed in solitare for something so trivial? He's a strange man... And I know you aren't going to give me any clues so I shall wait to see how it unfolds.
Great job, Jacob!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Carol, I'm afraid it'll be a while yet before the secrets are revealed. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.