His Silence
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "His Silence - Chapter Ten"Why did a 14 year old boy murder his parents?
14 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
That was an intense chapter, Jacob. Now we have to wait until Danielle visits the place her brother told her to go. This has kept your readers' attention with another great cliffhanger.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
  |
That was an intense chapter, Jacob. Now we have to wait until Danielle visits the place her brother told her to go. This has kept your readers' attention with another great cliffhanger.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 31-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Steve, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
-
My pleasure, Jacob.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Jacob, you've been so kind about reviewing my works that I wanted to come check yours out. I'm sorry to be starting so late in this book but I can tell that you write very well and this is a story i can get interested in from chapter 10 or chapter 1. Very intense. I will do my best to keep up.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
|
Jacob, you've been so kind about reviewing my works that I wanted to come check yours out. I'm sorry to be starting so late in this book but I can tell that you write very well and this is a story i can get interested in from chapter 10 or chapter 1. Very intense. I will do my best to keep up.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Marilyn, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Ulla
Wow, this was intense, Jacob and I wish I had a six. Now, I will just have to read on and a six will be available to me again. This is heady stuff, the two brothers up against each other. Ulla :)))
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
|
Wow, this was intense, Jacob and I wish I had a six. Now, I will just have to read on and a six will be available to me again. This is heady stuff, the two brothers up against each other. Ulla :)))
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Ulla, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Oh wow, what a powerful chapter!! Not at all what I expected. I thought he was just going to tell Danielle/Grace all about what happened, but not be cool and calm and not say anything, but let her beat on him. Still, you increase the intensity of the wait, increase the suspense. You're an amazing writer!!
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
 |
Oh wow, what a powerful chapter!! Not at all what I expected. I thought he was just going to tell Danielle/Grace all about what happened, but not be cool and calm and not say anything, but let her beat on him. Still, you increase the intensity of the wait, increase the suspense. You're an amazing writer!!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
-
Thank you for the six stars Rhonda. I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
-
I have read all your chapters now, my young friend. You are doing well and I look forward to more!!
-
Thank you, I'm really pleased that you're enjoying the book.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Well, that was an interesting meeting. He doesn't feel any guilt over killing their parents! She must go to where he said to find out why. She is back to relying on Jeremiah. This was a great dramatic moment that is well-written. You do have one error: . . . pay for what he(')s done.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
|
Well, that was an interesting meeting. He doesn't feel any guilt over killing their parents! She must go to where he said to find out why. She is back to relying on Jeremiah. This was a great dramatic moment that is well-written. You do have one error: . . . pay for what he(')s done.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Carol and for the six stars as well, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from lancellot
Interesting chapter. Naturally, answers wouldn't be that easy to come by. The story and the journey must go on.
notes:
I've never been able to remember any other children our age being [in] the picture.
-add missing word.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
|
Interesting chapter. Naturally, answers wouldn't be that easy to come by. The story and the journey must go on.
notes:
I've never been able to remember any other children our age being [in] the picture.
-add missing word.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
-
Thank you, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Wow, Jacob, such understandable anger bottled up for so long! I could appreciate fully from your story the frustration she felt especially as Harvey was so unforthcoming. Your talent for dialogue shines here and I was completely engaged and empathetic to Danielle's response. Well done! Debbie
any other children our age being (in) the picture
Only there will you find out the (out?) truth
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
|
Wow, Jacob, such understandable anger bottled up for so long! I could appreciate fully from your story the frustration she felt especially as Harvey was so unforthcoming. Your talent for dialogue shines here and I was completely engaged and empathetic to Danielle's response. Well done! Debbie
any other children our age being (in) the picture
Only there will you find out the (out?) truth
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Debbie, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I can understand Danielle's frustration. I wanted more answers myself. I can't wait to read the next. I see you already posted it.
My voice shakes as I speak. 'You've rejected my request to come and visit you every single time.' (speak,)
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2024
|
I can understand Danielle's frustration. I wanted more answers myself. I can't wait to read the next. I see you already posted it.
My voice shakes as I speak. 'You've rejected my request to come and visit you every single time.' (speak,)
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Barbara, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I suspect you like to add suspense whenever you can. Also, it seems in real life we really don't get answers as fast as we would like. Eight years seems like a long time to wait--and I keep thinking, did something expire? Did someone else die that he heard about somehow? Danielle is very angry still, as shown by her language and punching Harvey.
Little fixes:
his arms are folded across his chest which rises and falls steadily as he breathes.
I would stick a comma in after chest. That is because you have a long modifying phrase that starts with 'which' after the independent clause, and sometimes you just need a breath in a long sentence.
I yell as a guard pulls me off Harvey and within seconds I'm being dragged out of the room, Jeremiah following closely behind.
I would also put a comma after Harvey. That is because you have two independent clauses there. You did great with the comma after room.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2024
|
I suspect you like to add suspense whenever you can. Also, it seems in real life we really don't get answers as fast as we would like. Eight years seems like a long time to wait--and I keep thinking, did something expire? Did someone else die that he heard about somehow? Danielle is very angry still, as shown by her language and punching Harvey.
Little fixes:
his arms are folded across his chest which rises and falls steadily as he breathes.
I would stick a comma in after chest. That is because you have a long modifying phrase that starts with 'which' after the independent clause, and sometimes you just need a breath in a long sentence.
I yell as a guard pulls me off Harvey and within seconds I'm being dragged out of the room, Jeremiah following closely behind.
I would also put a comma after Harvey. That is because you have two independent clauses there. You did great with the comma after room.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2024
-
Thank you for spotting where I'd missed those commas. I'll go back and add them. I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Begin Again
The tension and Danielle's reaction was perfect! It's exactly how I would have felt confronting him and seeing his ability to appear so aloof and unwillinging to offer any information. Now, there's probably a reason, but if I were Danielle...I would have wanted the answers now. Great job, Jacob!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2024
|
The tension and Danielle's reaction was perfect! It's exactly how I would have felt confronting him and seeing his ability to appear so aloof and unwillinging to offer any information. Now, there's probably a reason, but if I were Danielle...I would have wanted the answers now. Great job, Jacob!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2024
-
Thank you Carol and thank you for the six stars. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
-
It was one of your best chapters. Loved the tension!! Have a great day!